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Original poster

Aibu To ask how you pass the time TTC

16 replies

Mangoo · 25/06/2018 20:39

Not how the title sounds Wink

I mean what do you do to keep your mind off it and to stop yourself from going mad when you get your AF each month.

We've had a couple of losses this year (that's another thread - literally!) And think I'm likely to have the same balanced translocation as my mum meaning I may suffer a few more before I get my miracle baby.

We've only been TTC since our last loss for 2 months and I'm going insane already. I'm so impatient!! I am due on this week and I can definitely feel it coming. I just feel like another month wasted!

How do you carry on living normal life and not let it consume your thoughts 24/7?!

OP posts:
physicskate · 25/06/2018 20:54

It's kinda ruined my life for the past two years... I quit my career and sort of gave up on everything else. It's not been healthy and really affected me as a person. I'm a shadow of my former self.

Don't be like me.

Original poster
Mangoo · 25/06/2018 21:29

Sorry to hear that Kate. I feel like I'm well on the way to the same happening to me. It's all I think about every single day.

Though I know being pregnant twice in the past year is good, because I've lost them it just feels as though it's taking a longggg time.

A couple of people have suggested getting a hobby to occupy myself but trying to find something that doesn't cost a fortune and I'd enjoy is a bit difficult. I am NOT a gym person at all!!

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squirrelnutkins1 · 25/06/2018 21:37

In the same boat, ttc, so interested to hear what people say x

sprinkleofsunshine · 26/06/2018 15:43

I'm also in the same boat, with a cp just this weekend Sad so I'll be ready to go again next week for dtd and I am not looking forward to that tww for sure. It's so hard not to obsess and put pressure on yourself.

I've only been ttc 3 months and not properly. One of those months I got an infection and couldn't dtd anyway. This month dh was away so I counted myself out, dtd twice & caught only to start having bleeding same day as my bfp Sad I've also had another early loss some time ago when I wasn't trying before dh.

Last month as I thought I was out anyway I made a conscious effort not to overthink every niggle and I tried not to post on the boards too much on here with every little thing. I was in general far more relaxed but I'm not sure how to be for this next month.

Wifelife · 26/06/2018 15:48

Same boat here too! Sad

Started TTC a couple of months ago and ever since I started tracking my cycles at the start of the year I’ve been all over the place 31,36, 45 days and on and on... it’s so disheartening I think I could deal with the disappointment more if I was ‘regular’ (which I always have been before TTC!!) but this is like torture and can’t find myself not thinking about it... so I’d love to hear what keeps other TTC ladies busy!

Original poster
Mangoo · 26/06/2018 16:36

@Sprinkle so sorry to hear about your CP. That sucks! I hope next month is your month.

It's so hard not to obsess isn't it! I must admit I'm a proper bugger for overthinking every little niggle and twinge I get yet the two times I was pregnant I actually had far less symptoms then I think I'm experiencing when I'm not!

@Wifelife sorry to hear you're feeling this way too. I wish there was a switch I could flicl to just get on with things as normal whilst we were ttc. I am actually very regular even after my miscarriages I always have a 24 day cycle so I'm lucky in that respect although it sucks being able to place a date on it and see it creeping up the calendar!

I've decided I need a hobby but I'm not sure what!

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ClaryFray · 26/06/2018 17:19

I take small steps when I get my period we order takeout and have wine. I then try and remind myself what I can still enjoy by not being pregnant.

It doesn't really work but I try to convince myself I'm happy with just the one. And think of other things, I started cross stitching last month lol.

We have a pregnant lady in our office so it's hard for me to keep my mind off it

Original poster
Mangoo · 26/06/2018 17:33

@Clayfray thank you! I like that idea of taking steps during your period and indulging in things you otherwise couldn't if pregnant. I guess I'll get the wine in!!

I understand about the pregnant co workers too! I've got a few of those at the moment and another who insists on showing me pictures of her new granddaughter all the time!

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ClaryFray · 26/06/2018 21:56

@mango oh yes. Those people are insufferable and everyone is forever talking about it. I endured a conversation today where the older ladies said they wouldn't want to be pregnant. She's put her scan picture up on the notice board... Who does that?

Original poster
Mangoo · 26/06/2018 22:19

@Claryfray no they didn't!! Who does that?!

Honestly since being in my position I've realised just how important sensitivity is in these situations. You never know what the person next to you has been through and how much they might be struggling to keep it together.

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ClaryFray · 27/06/2018 06:33

I agree, and im jealous beyond belief that this person fell do quickly. I know that cause she said it was a total surprise.

squirrelnutkins1 · 27/06/2018 07:54

@ClaryFray I do this too 🍷🥡
@Mangoo just had a friend announce last night that she's preg. Gets harder and harder to put on a happy face 💔 but don't want to sound bitter either as I'm not, just a little jealous 😢

Original poster
Mangoo · 27/06/2018 09:02

Its so hard isn't it! I don't want to be some bitter twisted woman that isn't happy for anyone else but at the same time I wish I could block out all the announcements!

@Squirrel FlowersWine it's so hard. I had a friend announce theirs recently not long after my last MC and it was so difficult to be happy for them. I had to leave work once they'd gone I was so upset.

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Original poster
Mangoo · 27/06/2018 10:19

Something someone said to me on my other thread which helped...

'Next time may be THE time, one day it will be.

In the meantime try not to feel too negative about other people's pregnancies, who knows what their struggles have been. One day it will be you with the big round tummy, totally oblivious to a lady close by wishing she could be you.'

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squirrelnutkins1 · 27/06/2018 11:14

Ah that's nice Thanks

DaisyMay25 · 27/06/2018 13:51

I've been TTC actively since May 2017, had mc in September 2017 at six weeks. The first few months were awful, I hated my body for not getting pregnant again when it's done it before. As the months have gone on I've just found it easier to deal with. I don't really having and coping techniques apart from when I get my period I eat Brie because it's my favourite cheese and I know once I'm pregnant it'll be a long time until I can enjoy it again. Currently we put money each month into a jar for things to buy once we get pregnant and I guess the longer it takes the more we'll have. Just enjoy life as it is now instead of wishing time away until you've got the one you want.

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