Help don’t know what to do..

[Elzeebub]

So a bit of back story..
My OH roughly 8 months ago decided he wanted to try for a baby and after 2 weeks of discussion, we decided to try and for me to come off the pill ( this was HIM who decided to bring it up )

Now fast forward to a few weeks ago he sat down and told me he doesn’t want to right now, he says he is so happy with us and our sex life he doesn’t want anything to change. He wants to wait another 4 years.

I’m heartbroken I understand his reasoning and I’m not going to force him into anything, however I was ready I had been doing ovulation tests etc and when he told me he didn’t want to anymore I was in shock. It was completely out of nowhere to me that he would change his mind.

Now I feel a void, I was ready for my life to have something so amazing in it and I feel so maternal I’m finding it really difficult.
I’ve explained how I feel but to be fair ... what can he do?!

Anyone else been through this what did you find helped? I’m so up and down I don’t know what to do.

There may be something else behind this. Talk to him about his reasons but 4years is a long time to wait! You need to talk it through fully and let him know how you feel too.

Why 4 years specifically? Could it be that he has commitment issues? It’s quite a big turn around, although it sounds like the decision to start trying was very quick too... why so hot and cold?

4 years is a strange timeframe to give you. I'd expect to be asked to wait and reassess in a year or two, but 4 is a long time, and I'd personally be gutted at that.

I'd be probing a bit further if I was you though. Perhaps it's just that he has career plans or travel plans or a big purchase that he realistically thinks would need that amount of time to achieve, but that's certainly something you would want to discuss together.

Oh, OP this is horrid. It sounds like perhaps a work opportunity may have come up or he's panicking. May I ask how old you both are and how long you have been together?

My DP and I have been trying for a while and have had a couple of early losses; we both have moments when we wonder if we can deal with it but we always come back to the fact it's what we want. TTC is really tough and I wouldn't be surprised if he's had someone in his ear warning him to wait, or something. Hopefully this is just a wobble and he will come back around.

How old are you? If you're both in your early to mid 20s it might be understandable that he wants to wait. Late 30s, not so much. Also, how long have you been together?