TTC during a difficult time

[paintitaquamarine]

I found out about a month ago that my mum has terminal cancer. We don't know how long she has left, although she is doing very well at the moment. DH and I had decided to start TTC no. 1 in September but since I found out about Mum's illness I've wanted to bring it forward and start in August or maybe July. If we get a move on, there is a chance she could live to meet the baby (although this isn't the main reason - I'm just aware that you don't always have all the time you think you have to do the things you want, plus I'm desperately broody!).

I was also recently diagnosed with PTSD caused by a past sexual assault. My psychologist is worried that the anxiety from the PTSD could be damaging my health and has given me fibromyalgia (that was diagnosed by a rheumatologist, but I'm not sure it's the right diagnosis).

I have been trying to eat well and reduce alcohol, and have taken folic acid since the end of May. I have also been trying to do Pilates regularly to hopefully make me stronger for pregnancy.

Given these circumstances, am I crazy to want to start trying so soon? We both really want a baby, but I'm worried that I could be causing trouble for myself, like if I have a miscarriage I will feel even worse. But on the other hand, I think holding off TTC could make me feel more hopeless. It's nice having something exciting and positive to focus on.

I'm sorry to hear about your mum OP. I lost my mum to terminal brain cancer 5 years ago so I understand how you must be feeling.

I'm trying to put myself in your shoes from the TTC point of things. It is going to be a very stressful time, and I worry that your mums diagnosis and health, along with your own existing issues might be a bit much for any one person to deal with at the one time.

HOWEVER I also totally understand the feeling of hopelessness, and perhaps a pregnancy is a bit of light in an otherwise dark time.

Just remember that you may not fall pregnant quickly, so don't stress about it if you do decide to start ttc earlier and it doesn't happen as quickly as you expect. I certainly wouldn't pin all hopes on your mum meeting your little one either, as depending on her diagnosis and how long it takes it may not happen (I hope you don't mind me saying this - I know from experience what it's like to plan things around ttc and when it doesn't happen in the time frame you had planned how disappointing that can be).

If I was you, and I really wanted a baby now, I would go for it! Good luck