How do you switch off?

[VenusStarr]

I'm feeling like I need to stop actively ttc (temping, using opks, using apps). been trying since December - although not tracking all that time and af arrived on Sunday. I felt OK but gradually my mood has dipped and I'm feeling quite upset and anxious. Which isn't great for conceiving I don't think!

It doesn't help that I am being constantly reminded by people. I'm not long married and people who I don't even know well are joking 'oh babies next!' and I have to plaster a fake smile and mumble something and try and get away as quickly as possible. Seriously, why do people do that?!

And one particular friend who was unable to conceive and has since adopted, every time she messages me is asking if there's any baby news yet and tagging me in those stupid memes on Facebook.

I just feel awful and getting repetitive thoughts and palpitations. So can you give me some tips on what you do to take your mind off it and just get on with your life?

I don't. I did yoga for awhile last year which seemed to help. Statistics also help me to rationalise (as in, at 6 months you are only slightly more likely to have conceived than not).

Acupuncture has helped as it's quite relaxing.

Antidepressants helped me. I started at the 20 month point. I feel much more able to handle my emotions now.

Hugs. No one tells you how crap ttc is if you don't become pregnant immediately.

Thank you for replying @physicskate. I have started acupuncture and do find it quite relaxing. I'm seeing her again next week so will have a chat with her about it.

I just can't seem to get motivated at the moment to do anything which doesn't help.

Glad antidepressants are helping you and thanks for the hug, sending one back

I have embryo transfer today so bricking it a bit...

Hope all goes well today for you @physicskate x

I didn’t ever switch off from it for the years of trying and feel so traumatised by it all now (many years later and mum to three naturally conceived kids) that I am having counselling to help me deal with all those years of sadness and hope (and dashed hope). But I can say that swimming a couple of times a week, doing some crafts, saving for a posh holiday, etc gave some respite.

I'm sorry to hear that @singadream. I'm worried that I'm putting too much pressure on myself and what the consequences of that could be. I hope the counselling is helping.

I've just been making a list of things that might help, including getting back into an exercise routine.

It's really hard, just want to turn the world off for a bit.

@venusstarr thank you. I think knowing it is ok to feel shit is helpful. Also having some stock answers for people who ask about babies that you can deliver with a smile but use to close down the conversation. Eg that’s private but you’ll be one of the first to know when it does happen. I found doing something helpful - so eating the right foods, or temperature taking and plotting on graph etc, or exercise. So that I was trying to help things rather than being passive. And so much easier said than done but stepping away from these boards for periods of time can help (even if it is just allowing yourself to check them once a day not once an hour). And I found self imposed deadlines helped. Eg in one year I will investigate ivf. In three years I will start trying to adopt. Etc

Thank you @singadream, I think having a stock answer is good. My husband just says tell them it's none of their business!
I think the tracking my temperature has helped on one hand but I've become obsessive about it so not doing it this month. I'm checking my apps lots of times so I need a break from that.
I've got a list of things I used to do but stopped - eating healthy and exercise so trying to motivate myself to get back into that. I've got a rough plan to see the doctor in September as I'll be 35 then and trying for 10 months.
Thank you for replying x