I'm driving myself crazy. Sorry if this is a long one.
I have a 20 month old DS already. I fell pregnant in March using the Clearblue dual hormone ovulation sticks, I never had a flashy smiley it just went straight to the solid smiley. I fell pregnant and was so happy. A week later I started bleeding and tests turned negative, I was barely 5 weeks. I was so sad but thought at this point I didn't even know I was pregnant with DS and if I hadn't have tested would've just thought AF was a few days late or may not have noticed I was late at all if we weren't TTC.
Started trying again this month, didn't track because we were on holiday etc. Had a little hope I might be as AF due Fri but couldn't stop thinking about it. Done 4 tests, one I thought may have been a BFP (posted earlier thread) but think it was dye run as did another and was negative. Have now started spotting and I feel so, so down. Even more so than when I had the chemical and I don't know why. What's wrong with me? I feel so tearful.
I have it in my head that now is the time to get pregnant, I feel ready for it. I feel like I'm under pressure in some way as a friend I told about the miscarriage also said in the same conversation she was also pregnant and we would've been due days apart. When I see her I feel so sad.
I'm going to test properly after this one to make sure when I am ovulating etc.
I know they say relax and stress makes it worse but I don't know what else to do 