TTC, how supportive are your husbands? Or DPs?

[tigerroundfortea]

Just wondering realistically how supportive or excited or enthusiastic your partners are about trying to conceive.
Are they talking to you about it,
Would they be talking to you about it if you didn't bring it up, like would they mention it in conversation and be happy to bring it up?
Are they openly happy to be ttc?
Maybe a sensitive subject (I'm sorry)
I can't tell if I'm being hormonal or mean or sensitive or if dh just doesn't want to.
It's so hard. He's so closed sometimes.
We decided recently to ttc for one of our own. He was clear that this is what he wants and he wants it now and we spent the night talking about it, he was very excited. We've had an accidental pregnancy last year that resulted in miscarriage so it's been talked about a little but like an elephant in the room I don't think either of us wanted to experience that again. Fast forward to recently deciding to ttc. He was happy and he was enthusiastic and he said I think we should have the implant taken out straight away and start trying, id love nothing more than to have a baby with you.
The thing is though I'm nervous to actually do it or even talk to him about doing it because it feels too good to be true as silly as that sounds. It's not even been a fortnight since and he hasn't mentioned it since so maybe he's gone off the idea? Or is this normal for men? I'm a bit anxious can you tell? I already have 2dc and he has 1 from previous relationships and I don't want to have the implant taken out and try for a (desperately wanted) baby if the other parent isn't so bothered at all

@tigerroundfortea I was in a similar situation recently. We have three DC and I desperately wanted another but DH was adamant three was enough. Fast forward to a year later after him expressing his non desire for another and we fell pregnant unexpectedly (on the coil!) unfortunately at our nearly 12 week scan DH scan we found out baby had no heartbeat we were both devastated as DH had actually got used to having another one, I dreaded asking him again to try for another but I sat him down and was honest with him, telling him I couldn't stop thinking about TTC, we spoke openly with each other and he agreed TTC! I then felt bad that I had 'forced/persuaded' him . I was currently undergoing counselling re the MC and I told the counsellor about our conversation and how I felt bad. She was honest with me and said 'hang on, he's agreed to have another baby, what more do you want?, he has said yes and if he didn't want another he would have said no!'

In the same respect you have said that your DP has agreed to try and I fact has said to take out your implant so what are you waiting for? If I were you. I'd have the implant out and get some baby dancing done!!! Good luck and fx for you XX

Just further .. you probably think there's an elephant in the room but if your DH is anything like most other DH's, he's had a conversation with you, he's agreed TTC, and now it's up to you to take the next step, I doubt he's going to bring up the conversation again . X

@MrsGS76 Thnak you so much for replying I think I really needed to hear those things especially from somebody that's been in the same position. I've felt exactly the same. I feel like I can't speak to him directly or even bring it up because I feel like I would then be forcing him or coercing him in some way to have a baby and I really don't want to do that. I think anything short of him coming to me and speaking about it which hasn't happened off his own back or saying look let's do this when are you getting it out, anything short of that and I still feel like I'm coercing him in some way because I want it so much. Rewind a year and a half and I wasn't too fussed on another but he was always talking about it. A lot has happened since then though we have been through hell and back and he's not seemed as enthusiastic as he used too, I was worried he had gone off the idea or gone off me. I'm having such a bad time on the implant so I don't think that's helped. I guess I don't have to wait for anything now before taking the next step but for some reason I feel like unless he's vocal about everything I'm trapping him in some way

I just had an EP on June 4 I had surgery and they took my baby and my left tube. We both still want a baby. He has 3 from previous relationships and I have yet to have one. Tbh, my husband is very closed and does not like to have discussions about pretty much anything. Its hard for me because I like to talk about everything in detail. He just isnt like that.
We both took the loss very hard, but it hasnt discouraged us from TTC. We had been trying for 4 years, Im praying it doesnt take another 4 years to conceive.
But like MrsGS76 said he said he wants a baby and he is ready to try. Dont over think it ( like I tend to do sometimes), just know that he is willing and ready and if he wants to talk be there for him, if not, well we have this blog lbs.

@tigerroundfortea , you're an overthinker like me and @MrsNiaCole ! I agree with @MrsNiaCole , I too like to talk about everything in detail unlike my DH (any many other DH's) we are made so different but it doesn't mean as he has not mentioned it in two weeks, he has changed his mind x I always said to my DH that we would never regret having another baby but I would regret not having one . Just go for it xx

@MrsNiaCole so sorry for your loss. It's such an unfair world when we lose a baby. Fx for you in the future xx

@MrsGS76 Thank you so much! It is very hard. We had been trying for so long to finally get our baby only to be taken away so soon. But I have faith that everything will work out for the best!

Men can be strange sometimes.

I've wanted a baby for about 4 years (and quite desperately for the last 2) but OH wasn't ready.
Finally about a year ago he said that he's be happy to start trying in December (2017) after my 30th so I could enjoy that properly.

Even when it got to the time I wasn't sure he was really in to it and I hesitantly checked he was still ok with me stopping the pill (because he hadn't mentioned our plan to start TTC during the previous 6 months) and his reply was a kind of "well, yeah, that's what I agreed to..." That was about the sum total of our conversations about it.

I got pregnant in January, we found out in February and he was very excited and impatient to tell people which made me really happy because he finally seemed to be showing interest in becoming a dad. Then I had a missed miscarriage and went through a lot of hospital appointments and scans etc etc. He was next to me the whole time and very supportive and lovely.

Now we've started TTC again and it's as though the idea of possibly being a dad soon hasn't really registered yet despite all this!!! He's resistant to talking about our future as a family and yesterday after I'd mentioned something about when we have kids and he reacted funny so I laughed and said "you do realise we're trying to have a baby, don't you!?" We had a laugh about it, but it does amaze me that he's like this!

So yep, still a closed book on the subject (although I have proof he'll be exited when it happens).

I'm so glad it's not just me, I feel it's driving me crazy. @MrsGS76 I very much am someone that talks everything through and he doesn't I just wish it felt like more of a joint choice but I guess it is! I feel like I'm getting so desperate for it.

Just thought I'd update. I had an emotional chat with him yesterday and he's over the moon to be ttc and has absolutely no doubts. I'm booked to have implant out on Tuesday and very excited (and nervous). Thanks for listening to me panic 😱

Congrats on getting the implant taken out. Hope that goes ok for you. It is such an exciting time when you decide to start TTC! :) Best of luck to you! xxx

@tigerroundfortea oh wow, fantastic news!! So pleased for you xx Good luck with your TTC journey xxx

Talking about it can be really stressful and make the whole thing a bit of a chore. I found it best just not to mention it.

I'm so glad I approached it I was all in a state all worried I was trapping him and he's really excited! I've been and had it out this morning. Feeling so much better if not a bit scared. I mean even when you know you're ready do you 100% know 😂 I'm so desperate to do this and now I'm here I'm thinking omg can I do this again 😂

@tigerroundfortea yes you can do this again!! Just have fun and enjoy the experience xx

@tigerroundfortea Yay!!! So happy for you guys to start your journey. I pray everything goes well! And like MrsGS76 said have fun!!!!