To donate my eggs to my friend?

[LuciaLuciaLucia]

Just that really. She hasnt asked (for now). But I feel she is going to. And I will say YES. Would I be mad?

I think all any of us can reply is to say what we would do: I would say yes.

For my best friend or sisters I would say yes. For a friend I may lose touch with then no.

@LuciaLuciaLucia I'm assuming you want honest opinions here? I just couldn't do it, I looked into donating eggs (it makes ivf cheaper) but as soon as the child turns 18 they get your info and I wouldn't want that. So I guess it comes down to the laws surrounding this. I personally couldn't do it, but you're probably a better person than me. I'd find it hard to detach myself from a child with my dna.

Lovely thing to do

Just not sure I could do it because I want a third but for various reasons I’m not. I just couldn’t cope knowing that was my baby. Albeit with a different man! And I would see it as my baby.

This is a wonderful and generous thing to do. I would have considered it, now I’m too old!

Not for me. It'd be my biological child and I'd never be able to get past that.

For a lot of people, me included, it's just too hard to get past the genetic connection.

It's a very generous thing for you to do, but I couldn't see someone else raise my biological child, regardless of who carried the pregnancy. Imagining seeing my familial traits in a child who I don't have a maternal relationship with isn't something I could handle.

I think it's a fantastic thing to do for a friend but I couldn't myself. I know I would feel too attached to the child and it would break me not being fully involved as the mother.

As an infertile woman (due to premature ovarian failure) who needed donor egg IVF, I think donating eggs is a selfless, amazing thing to do for another woman.

You have to think very carefully about it though. My sister initially said she would donate eggs for me, but then started having doubts after she had a baby and worried she would see the genetic connection and feel like it was her baby. Her husband was also uncertain. So I said no, we'll go to a private clinic, as I didn't want to put her through the agony of decision. I'd have felt guilty for putting her through it.

Research the implications very carefully, see a counsellor, make sure you understand the physical ordeal you'd go through, and consider what would happen if you have your own children. If, after weighting it all up, you still want to go ahead, then good luck! Your friend is very lucky to have you.

I'd do it for a friend, but I think I am too old now.

thanks everyone for your messages, not in uk so the law is a bit blury around this here.

Please does anyone have personal experience of this?

I would do it for my sister. I wouldn’t think of it as my baby. If another woman gestates it and gives birth to it and raises it, she’s the mother (and if she doesn’t do those things but adopts it). I wouldn’t be a surrogate for anyone ever, but donating eggs is something I’d be really happy to do.

I couldn't. I'm ethically opposed to it. The child born from that egg is yours, a sibling to your other children (if you have them).

Ask yourself if you'd like to be born in this way. Would you be ok with the knowledge that you have siblings that were raised by your biological mother but you weren't? I don't think it's a decision you should make for that child.

I was an anonymous egg donor in my twenties and an infertile couple were able to have twins as a result. I have no regrets about doing it and the process wasn’t particulrly gruelling but I think I would find it hard doing it for a relative as I would struggle not to think of the child(ren) as partly mine.

In some places I think there is an option of donating to a stranger in return for your relative getting an anonymous donation themselves so that might be an option you could look at.

Just make sure if you go ahead that you go through a reputable clinic that will take good care of you.

I would do it for my best friend in a heartbeat. But I'm quite pragmatic about stuff like this. I wouldn't see it as 'my' child.

Also to the poster who said that nonsense about 'would you want to be born like this?' If the alternative is never existing then I'm sure most people would rather be the child of an egg donor than never be born/exist in the first place.

I'd do it. I wouldn't see it as my child at all, just an egg. The mother would be the one who carried it and raised it, not me

I thought I may need donor eggs at one point (luckily I managed to conceive with my own) but if I could help someone going through that pain, I would although I think I'm too old now at 34?

To be honest I would really consider it her baby if she carried it and gave birth. I know it would be genetically yours but in my head I could get past that as I'd know I hadn't carried and grown that baby.
I think it's a lovely thing to do op.