Men! And late!

[Peregrine1]

Partner ages ago said he wanted a baby. We talked about it. I took some convincing but agreed in the end. We’ve been together 5 years and are happy. Not married because I don’t want to for reasons unrelated to this (he did ask).

A year on during, which we’ve had a lot of unprotected sex, I’m late. I’m never late. Also got signs that I might be pregnant such as the sore boobs and loads of cervical discharge in the luteal phase which isn’t normal.

But all pee tests have been negative. 5 days late now. Tried first response early ones. Done the tests right. So problem number 1: what do I do now with that? Booked in to see dr but no slots until wed next week.

Problem 2: being late seems to have done something weird to my partner. He broke down in tears saying he didn’t want to lose his freedom and he wasn’t ready for a baby. He’s suggesting abortion now 😕. He wants time to enjoy being with me and having fun rather than the stress of a baby.

Is this normal? Should I take him at his word and make decisions what to do based on that or could this just be fear?

@Peregrine1 I felt I had to write something after seeing this. Feel so sorry for you. I'd say maybe just fear has set him. Give him after the doctors to see how it is. Wish you all the luck in the world x x

Gosh this really is a tough situation. I think you defo need a chat with your OH. But I would wait until after the Drs like @Delilah7 said. But you need to decide together what's best for you both. And how do you feel about it?
If it's positive maybe he just needs a little time for it to sink in?
Sending massive hugs. Sounds like you need a bit of support right about now. Don't make any rash decisions until you know for definite what the answer is. Sadly the Drs aren't likely to do much until you're a good couple weeks late. It could just be an anovulatory cycle or late ovulation.
Good luck babe. Keep us posted. Xx

It is quite normal to have a little panic when you suddenly realise that theory has turned into reality. Even when I was finally pregnant with a much wanted baby after a miscarriage I had a bit of a wobble and felt almost like I was having panic attacks. I felt taken over and out of control.

First thing is to deal with whether you are or are not pregnant.

If you are then it might help for DP to talk to someone - like a counsellor - to go through his feelings. Is it just a panic at the idea of change? Once he gets his feelings in order he then needs to talk things through with you. So you can decide what you want to do.

If you are not pregnant then I guess you still need to talk things through. Is he saying he never wants children - or just not yet? How do you feel about that?

He’s now being very apologetic and said he was panicking.

He’s still not completely calmed down but without promoting said he knew he’d been an arsehole was sorry and he didn’t want to lose what we have. He’s also speaking more positively about having a baby again although still some if we go through with it comments coming out.

I was ttc for 6 months before I finally conceived a very wanted baby. But when I first got my bfp I did have a "what have I done" moment. This passed quickly and am now very happy.

Maybe it was just the initial shock but crying was a bit ott.

The "if we keep it" comments would seriously piss me off. Forget him, what do You want? If abortion is not an option make it clear to him.

Honesty at 5 days late and no positive test you probably aren't pregnant. But if I was you I would be seriously reconsidering the relationship. Nags you into getting pregnant, a year of trying and when it finally happens he let's you down big time. I couldn't trust him to not let me down again. Sorry your going through this op

I would normally presume I wasn’t too but I know I ovulated and when as it just happens I had the 7dpo blood test this month (all fine showing good progesterone levels and definitely ovulated)

So it’s not just late because of late ovukation or anovulatory cycle plus having symptoms that would be very weird if I am not.