Am I crazy

[Cheeselover23]

I recently had a miscarriage and I now desperately want a baby more than anything else. The problem is I've only turned 18 this year so I'm clearly quite young.
I'm also getting worried/excited that I have by some miracle gotten pregnant again so soon (I've been having unprotected sex since I was about 14 with my partner - and a few others when we broke up for a while - but never got pregnant in all that time so not sure if the first pregnancy was a fluke).
Last time the main symptoms were obviously a lack of period, a feeling of maybe bile at the back of my throat and sore boobs. Unfortunately I haven't had a period since the miscarriage (it happened at the end of April) and my boobs aren't sore but I've got this constant feeling at the back of my throat again and I've gotten all silly thinking what if. I don't know if I'm just being stupid.
I know the obvious response is to do a test but I'm so scared of the results (if it's negative I'll be devastated and if it's positive I'll be petrified I'll lose the baby again) so I was wondering if anybody had any advice or if I just have to man up and do a test.
Btw sorry if I've posted in the wrong place 😬

I'm very sorry you had a mc.
But you're very young to be desperate to be pg. Especially if things are so unstable that you split up and then had sex with "a few others".

I understand I am young but I've grown up so much that if people didn't know my age they would think I'm a lot older. The breakup lasted just under a year and was a year ago now - I understand that sleeping with others so quickly wasn't the best idea and I definitely paid for it in ways I won't share. I just want to see whether I'm being crazy to think I could possibly be just based on this feeling? Thank you for your comment though

You can't tell if you're pg by a feeling. Seriously. POAS.

Asides from your age, you have been having unprotected sex for years with a number of partners - you should get a full STD check.

Is your partner the same age as you or older? 14 is well below the age of consent.

If you've been having unprotected sex with quite a few people then you need to get an STI test if you haven't already. Several common STIs can affect your fertility in the long term.

Hi,

I'm so sorry for your loss, it happened to me a year ago so I cam empathise, although I totally appreciate everyones situation is different. I hope you're looking after yourself and giving yourself time to heal and move forward. It's really difficult to write this out because I'm so self aware that any advice can come across as patronising which I really am trying not to be, I want to be able to help (if that's possible to do virtually!).
I think in this situation right now, anxiety is not good, so take a test to know either way, you're still recovering from before so you wont want any more stress. In my opinion, i think you should wait at least one normal cycle before trying again, your hormones will be all over the place so you'll want to get 'normal' again and also when you go for scans you'll want exact dates, if not you can have so much anxiety when baby might be too small/big but you've just got dates wrong.
I hope you get what you want, although I just really want you to be absolutely certain that a)you're ready to take a test/try again because you have to be prepared for either a positive or negative outcome b)you have enough support around you again for any outcome, this is a must and c)you're in a stable relationship because whilst miscarrying is horrific, it happens (hopefully) just once and a baby is around for a lot longer and nothing will a test a relationship like the process of having children! The stress, hormones, tiredness is overwhelming!!
I wish you all the best!
X

I had checks after sleeping with any body. He was fifteen at the time. I agree it's young and if I could go back I'd definitely have waited longer but unfortunately I can't change the age I became sexually active nor can I change sleeping with anybody else, knowing what I know now I wouldn't even have broken up with my boyfriend.

Thank you @jacko2205 for your reply, you didn't come across as patronising at all! I think the only way to know is a test and I know it's not best for me if I am pregnant so soon. If I'm not I will definitely be continuing to try and recover - I never started trying again but changing a habit of so long is hard and we slipped up. We'll definitely be even more careful from now on.
I just feel crazy for feeling that something so simple could possibly mean I am. I didn't find out until I was 11 weeks pregnant last time because my periods are so irregular and so this feeling was pretty much the only indicator as it was so persistent and wouldn't stop unless I drank water, same as right now.

There's a saying in my circle of friends, 'if you're not preventing, you're trying hunny'.
I think take a test to know whats what and go from there. I think if it's negative talk to them about your irregular periods so that you've checked everything before you start trying.
Good luck and like i said, don't under estimate recovery and looking after yourself, hugely important!!
X

Did you test op? Not to make you feel any better but I sexually active at 14 too. My partner was 15. I was adamant I wanted to live my life with him and so we get engaged at 18, brought a house and started trying for a baby. We split up at 20, 2 weeks before we got married as I realised that I wanted more from my life. I moved out, enrolled at uni and it was the best thing I could do at that point.

I had my daughter at 26 with my current partner and I'm now 37 trying again after I got my career in order. I'm not saying to wait, I'm just saying make sure you know what you want from your life before you commit to anything this life changing.

I hope you start to feel better soon as I suffered with an MC in February so I know how bad it can be. Take your time and as the previous posters have said, look after yourself. ❤

Oh and it's good that you're getting checked, I too "enjoyed myself" after splitting up at 20 until I met my current partner at 24. X

Definitely test. Not knowing is horrible and will only add to anxiety. Of you know one way or the other, you can make plans.