I don't know why I'm writing this here or why I'm so desperately broody right now. We have such a delicate difficult situation and my head knows I just have to accept it how it is and be happy but my heart just feels so broken.
I have two dc that live with us. DP has one that despite having a court order to say she lives with us half the time we haven't seen her in at least a year because her Mum Just point blank refuses to abide by it and there seems to be no consequences for this, he is obviously heartbroken by this situation, we both are.
Shortly after we got together when I was on the pill I fell pregnant very unexpectedly and it was a massive shock. I had a natural miscarriage and it threw me. I've since had an implant put in and a few years down the line I'm yearning for the baby I feel would complete our family, I so desperately want to do it all again and I know that unreasonable. Dp says he wants another child but he obviously isn't broody like I am to do this right now I get the impression this is just something he wants one day in the future and I don't think he would want to start trying while he's not seeing his older child, but I feel like we have little control over that situation and it's putting our life on hold, it feels so selfish to say that. I just wish we could ttc now but he doesn't want to yet or he would make it clear he does. Can anybody tell me I'm being selfish and to just get a grip and be a decent partner because I feel like I need a good talking to, I just want it so much!