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TTC 18months and partners ex now pregnant

2 replies

lala04 · 13/05/2018 21:14

Hi,

We've been trying to conceive coming up to 19months. (currently on TTW cycle 18).
Today we found out - whilst out for lunch for my birthday - that my partners ex, who he has DD with, is pregnant.
I'm totally devastated as is my partner. I'm feeling lots of different things. Guilt, envy, disappointment etc.
I feel so much has been taken away from us being able to tell DD she'll be a big sis and I feel like IF it ever happens for us it'll be old news to her by then. And the comparing "mummy does this" "mummy lets me".
I haven't got my head around it all yet. It's devastating enough hearing anyone is pregnant but this has really affected both of us. We've been trying longer than they have been together which is also frustrating... however we all have a good relationship and on some level I'm happy for them. I feel guilty for feeling this was.
I feel gutted I'll see her regularly getting bigger etc and little one being so excited about it and just thinking why wasn't it me?
Very very selfish head on at the mo...
Has anyone been in this situation or have any wise words that may help?

Any advice welcome ✨

OP posts:
Mannix · 13/05/2018 21:20

Oh OP. I really feel for you. It’s so difficult to be in this position and your mixed emotions are totally understandable.

As you’ve been TTC for well over a year, have you been for tests yet?

lala04 · 13/05/2018 21:43

@Mannix thank you... too much going through my head to deal with st the mo.

I've had the blood test and I'm ovulating which is good. Next is sperm testing. Which my partner has been sort of putting off in the hope we get pregnant before he's had to do it. We did a home test two months ago. Which isn't always great but I got it to be a little less embarrassing for him. That was boarder line low. So after a conversation today after the news and how upset we both were, he wants to see our doctor to have it tested properly. I'll call in the morning and see about an appt. However we go on holiday Saturday and I don't want it hanging over us but would equally like to get things in motion just so we know

OP posts:
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