How soon is too soon TTC

[orchiddaisy]

Random question but;

How do you know if it's the right time in your relationship to TTC?

I have always been a very impulsive person, and when I want something, I go for it. Obviously with a baby, I'm trying to put my impulsiveness to one side.

I have always been broody and and even more so lately. I've been in my relationship for a year, live with my boyfriend and we both definitely feel like we are together forever - and he would like to have a baby when I'm ready.

How have you all known it's the right time?

I think being in a secure living situation, having some disposable income and secure employment is more important than length of time together. Obviously having a healthy relationship is important too.

@Waitingonasmiley42 I think you're right. We have a secure relationship and living arrangement. Right now we are both earning well. He works in the car industry so hopefully his job remains secure but there's no way of knowing really!

I think my parents will react badly- like I'm rushing into things if I got pregnant now, even though I am 29 and have been with him a year!

What are your thoughts on marriage? If you want to get married I'd encourage you to do that first, so many people plan to and run out of money for the type of wedding they want so never do it.

For us we wanted to be on the housing ladder and in good, stable, permanent employment. Length of relationship isn't everything, but if you haven't had many long term relationships I'd be more cautious of TTC really soon.

We'd been together about 7 years, owned a house had pets etc.
In hindsight I wish we'd got married first but I didn't know I'd feel like this until after I had our daughter. I was never bothered about marriage until after, when I realised my pension is taking a knock because I've gone part time. His career is flying and mine is on standby. I also really don't like having a different name from my daughter. I've said we're not ttc again for number two until we're married so that's the next thing for us.

@OrcinusOrca yes I totally see your point about having the same name. We both have had a discussion and marriage is definitely something we both want, and will plan to do this within the next 3-4 years. The reason we aren't rushing with this is he has been married before, although we know we will get definitely get married in a few years, he doesn't feel the need to be married again straight away (we are fully committed though). As I am approaching 30, I feel more of a desire to start TTC rather than waiting to save up to get married. I obviously do worry 'what if everything doesn't work out as I hope' but I feel secure and we can never know the future 100% x

@earlybirdhasanap sorry i should have tagged you in my last comment too x

For me and my partner, the right time was when we had a stable living environment (well, rented but stable) and enough work. But above all that too, we were waiting until I was in good mental health. I'd had a spell of depression all of last year and when we decided to start TTC it was after a six month period of increasing stability due to a medication that really works for me, and after a well established meditation practice was helping me too. It's a bit personal really but just wanted to share that for me it was being in a healthy mind that really made the difference between 'thatll be nice in the future' to 'let's do it!'