When the universe kicks you right in the vagina!

[Lookingforadvice15]

This is month 5 ttc #2.
Its getting really stressful and its probably not even been that long. I suffer from anxiety and every bfn feels like im going to fall apart. Finding it harder to pick myself back up each month. Seen my doctor today and we had a really good chat...felt like i left in a different more positive head space.

Later on tonight i received a mesage from my sister (only sibling) shes pregnant!! She knows how much ive been struggling recently and didnt know how to tell me other than by text.
She already has three kids, shes on the pill....missed it ONCE two/three weeks ago and BAM pregnant....fucking fantastic...they were not planning on having anymore kids as between her and her partner they already have six.

So missing one pill vs 4mths of trying, ovulation tests, bfn tests, being upset, frustrated, let down, folic acid, multivitams, bbt's, ovia apps, docs appts, charting, timing, symptom spotting, yoga, healthly eating, not drinking etc etc etc...

It is also bringing back memories of my first pregnancy. I was pregnant in 2013 and she found out she was pregnant the following month (planned). Mine ended in mmc at my 12 week scan and i had to watch her bump grow as i had to go for a d&c and then try again. Luckily within 3mths i was pregnant again with my DD or i may have had a breakdown.

Dont know what im looking for from this thread, maybe just some support. Things just seem very unfair sometimes.

I'm ttc #2 cycle 4 at the moment, although it feels more like a year! It does seem so unfair when you put all the work in and you see that bfn. Sometimes I feel a bit silly because I haven't been trying for as long as other people but it's still disheartening when you see other people get pregnant so easily and without even trying. There are quite a few people I've noticed at my son's school now pregnant and I just think I wish that could be me! But then I've also looked at it as they've probably been trying for a while as well like so many other people. The first month of trying I was like a crazy person thinking every 'symptom' was a clue and I was 'so sure' I was pregnant and i look back and think omg how stupid was I. This cycle has wound me up even more because my af was considerably light compared to my others and I'm usually really regular. It's so frustrating! But you're not alone.

@lookingforadvice15 sorry to hear you’re feeling so stressed about everything going on, I really hope you get your bfp soon! It’s so frustrating to feel like everyone around you is falling pregnant at the drop of a hat when you’re struggling with trying each month but I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it happens for you soon!! If speaking to the GP helped with your anxieties then is there anyone else that you can speak to about it? I’ve heard good things about mindfulness courses with trying to reduce anxieties but not sure how available they are in your area (it’s self referral where I live). I hope things get better for you soon x

Sorry you’re feeling like this, OP. I’ve been ttc for 19 months and in that time both my sister and my cousin have fallen pregnant accidentally as have I think 8 or 9 of my friends. It’s very hard as it does seem that when you start trying, everyone else just falls pregnant at the mere sniff of a penis. Try to remember (although I understand this is completely unhelpful) that 5 months really is no time at all. It is completely normal for it to take up to a year. You only have a 25-30% chance of conceiving every month and so the odds are honestly dire to begin with.

You’ll also find that while you see a lot of accidental pregnancies, the majority of pregnancies are a result of ttc but many people aren’t open about their struggles. A friend of mine got pregnant a few years ago and had a little girl. I just assumed they’d either fallen quickly or it was accidental but after she heard about my infertility, she reached out to me to tell me she understood as it has taken them a very long time trying before she got pregnant. I do try to remember that when I see a pregnant lady in the street or someone pushing a newborn.

I’m sorry to hear about your mc too, that must have been awful having to watch your sister when you should have been pregnant too. Ttc is tough and I sometimes wonder why I put myself through it but it’s all worth it in the end. Hopefully.

Again, unhelpful but please try not to stress too much that it’s not happening at this point. As crappy as it is, you are early days and not at the stage where you need to be worrying. 85% of couples get pregnant within their first year of trying, much less get pregnant within the first 6 months. Wishing you lots of luck!

Thanks for all the kind words everybody. Just feel like im in a very emotional place right now and this news almost tipped me over the edge. If she had been trying and happy about it then i would probably feel different but the fact that i know they didnt even want another is a harder pill to swallow.

@NaomiJ11 good luck on your journey ttc as well x

@Wames90 thank you. I am going to have a look at different things in my area.

@Bubblegum89 i was nearly crying reading your post. I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. How have you managed to stay sane after 19mths. You must be a very strong lady, i think i would have given up. I honestly wish you the best and will be keeping everything crossed that it happens for you x