How to not think about it?!

[VenusStarr]

I think about the and becoming pregnant all the time. I tried to kid myself that I'm being relaxed and not monitoring where I am in my cycle by hiding my ovia app but I've been checking my emails to see what cycle day I am! My body hardly allows me to forget either with painful ovulation and noticeable cm.

I'm afraid I'm going to be disappointed when after arrives next week. I got married recently and built my hopes up that this cycle will be the one, I think ovulated a few days after the wedding. I'm also stressed about something I can't control but it's making me angry and upset so distracting myself thinking about ttc but that's not helpful!!

So, how do I relax and not think about it? What do you do?

I have always found that having something ELSE to look forward to stops my obsessive thoughts.

When I was SO DESPERATE for DH to propose (nutjob over here) we planned a holiday to Florida and I decided to train for a Half Marathon. Those two things took up so much of my time, that the proposal completely sideswiped me.

We weren't TTC for long, but my first month off the pill I was an absolute mess. I must have taken 5 tests (all negative) and I was getting so obsessed over it.

So... we booked a holiday. We acknowledged that we couldn't put our lives on hold 'in case' we got pregnant. I don't know whether this made us relax more, or we just timed it right, but I got my BFP soon after.

As cliché as the advice is, you really do need to find a way to relax. Have you spoken to your husband at all about how you feel? Sometimes it helps to share the burden.

X

Hi @Stephisaur thank you for the reply. I think an absorbing distraction is good, I've been so focused on the wedding that now it's over it has hit me. I actually said this morning can we book a holiday :)

I'm struggling a bit with motivation, I was in quite a good diet and exercise routine before the wedding but that's fallen by the wayside. I'm very emotional today which prompted the post.

You're right, I need a project or a hobby, just need the motivation to start something. I'm trying to read more but stupidly picked a book with the main character is pregnant! Might find something else to read.

I've spoken a bit to my husband (still feels a bit weird saying that!) but haven't let on how crazy I feel and just how much I'm thinking about it. Although he did find an (unused) pregnancy test in my glove box! I've spent too long lurking on here trying to understand ttc whereas he is of the mindset that it will happen and not to worry about it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy :) x

Thank you lovely :)

Wedding Planning definitely gives you a slump once it's all over and done with.

Don't be afraid to unleash your inner nutjob - he's stuck with you now haha ;)

It will happen though, he's right :) unless you've been trying for ages then you don't need to stress over it

I went for six months not thinking about it but it didn’t work for me lol putting your efforts into other things is the only way to not think about it. Plan a trip or something. Whatever takes up time so you don’t have any spare to obsess over ttc. Relaxing doesn’t always work but for some lucky people it does so you never know. Good luck

I was the same as you. It would be on my mind all the time and I would stress about it. What helped me SO much was the SMEP (Sperm Meets Egg Plan). I knew that all my bases were covered and that we were hitting all of the fertile period so I didn't stress over it. Also (after almost two years, because we didn't try SMEP straight away) it worked first month we tried it. Good luck with your journey!

@venustarr I totally get you. Also recently married and we actually conceived on our honeymoon...only to have a miscarriage 11 weeks later. After seeing heartbeat and everything. So now I feel like a woman possessed! I also "pretend" to be relaxed but I explained it to my husband (who has the same attitude of don't worry, it will happen) as like telling someone not to think about breathing or blinking. Once you say it, it's all you CAN think about it. And it's ALWAYS there! I've also booked holiday and even bought a new house as my project! But at least once a day the am I pregnant thought still pops up....I literally don't know how to stop it. I have also googled everything under the sun and have convinced myself I am infertile and need to look into adoption before it's too late haha. I know it's nuts but I just can't stop!

@SophieStripe I have exactly the same thoughts. I'm so worried there's something wrong but then hopeful I will become pregnant every month. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage x

Thank you @Bubblegum89 it's not even a conscious thought, it's just 'there' but have booked some annual leave and going to plan something nice to do.

@Claire90ftm congratulations :) I'm not sure we could do smep as dh works shifts so may be tricky but saying that it's definitely worth us trying, as you say it worked first time for you :)

Thanks @Stephisaur :) I had odd stomach cramps earlier and messaged him as was feeling sorry for myself and he replied maybe it's a baby so I think he's thinking about it more than he's letting on. I feel an internalised pressure that I'll be letting him down if I don't get pregnant. It's good to be able to 'say' that somewhere, I don't think that's helpful to share with him just yet!

Thanks everyone, it's good to know I'm not the only one and getting some tips :) x