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Conception

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Original poster

False positive pregnancy test???

24 replies

Busymummy50 · 22/04/2018 15:06

I haven't been trying for a baby. Already have a 10 and 6 year old and decided that since both was very difficult to conceive, would be fine using condoms.

I have polycystic ovaries and only 1 fallopian tube after the birth of my first child so went back on mini pill for a while before deciding to just use condoms.

Last night had a pregnancy test just because my partner said I had a very strong metallic taste in my mouth and this could be pregnancy related (I've never heard that before!!!) So I did anyway.

Positive!!! Absolutely shocked!!!!!! Repeated this morning and again positive!!!

With polycystic ovaries and one fallopian tube and using condoms, what are the chances!! Especially when both my children took ages to conceive with the second time I was abiut to do IVF!

Any reasons this could be a false positive???

Will go to the doctor tomorrow

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 22/04/2018 15:13

Blimey. It’s definitely possible.

Were they the same brand of test and in date?

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 22/04/2018 16:55

Yes same brand and in date

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justanotheruser18 · 22/04/2018 16:56

I mean, maybe one false positive could be possible, but two? I think that's highly unlikely. Eeeeeeee!!!!!

MaisyPops · 22/04/2018 16:57

Very unlikely but technically possible.

Maybe test again in a few days and then see.

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/04/2018 16:59

I agree, two is unlikely. Have you used a frer?

Take a deep breath for now, take another test with fmu tomorrow.

The doctor will take your word for it if you say you’ve had a positive test. I’ve never had the GP confirm a test and just self referred to the midwife. They can test hcg with a blood test which might be an idea if you don’t know how far along you might be.

How do you feel about it OP?

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 22/04/2018 19:05

I'm shocked, scared and just don't know what to do. I'm at a stage now where I am comfortable with 2 kids. I find it hard at times with 2 and not sure how is cope with another.

Also I am 39 now and don't feel as energetic as I did 10 years ago when I had my first. Even between the first and second one I felt a huge difference.

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justanotheruser18 · 22/04/2018 21:34

I've heard people say that going from 2 to 3 is nowhere near as hard as from 1 to 2 kids. I can completely understand your shock and fear. You don't need to make any decision right now. 🌸

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 25/04/2018 19:04

I've accepted it now that I am pregnant. I can feel an ache in my lower abdomen and tender breasts. I remember this feeling when I was pregnant the last 2 times

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MaverickSnoopy · 25/04/2018 19:11

I've recently fallen pregnant using condoms with a surprise 3rd (although no other issues like you). So I know where you're coming from. I'm 6 years younger than you and I too notice the difference (certainly for me it comes from already having 2).

I find 2 children hard on occasion but the positives out weigh the hard times. Anyway I'm 16 weeks now and am getting used to it. I am anxious about the 20 week scan and just waiting to that now until I can relax and start properly thinking about it.

How are you feeling today?

glasshalffull2018 · 25/04/2018 21:17

Did the doctors confirm pregnancy?

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 27/04/2018 09:57

I haven't seen the doctors. I am booked into to Marie stopes for a counselling session today on the telephone to see if it will help me make sense of my feelings. I am also booked in for a consultation regarding termination. It is not something I want to do but not is being pregnant. I remember when a friend of mine had an abortion because she felt it wasn't the right time, I didn't say to her but I felt judgemental. I thought "how could you do that?" And here I am thinking "should I?"

The gaps between my kids will be big. Nearly 5 years between first 2 and between 2nd and 3rx if I have it will be 7 years. I'll be nearly 40 when I give birth. Already exhausted with 2. Constantly finding my eldest a struggle as u think he has mild aspergers and sensory processing issues. He's constantly bullying my youngest and thinking he's in charge in the house. And constantly whining and shouting abiut everything. I've had to work very hard to teach my youngest to ignore him and be resilient. She started getting anxious and was chewing skin on her fingers and complaining if a tummy ache for a year. Eldest also chews in his fingers.

Partners job had got worse and unlikely to get better so he may have to find another job. In the process of house hunting for better secondary schools so means moving away from friends and family which then means less help if we had another baby. First time I was pregnant i was over the moon. Second time, me and partner was going through a separation period so could've ended up a single parent but I still knew 100 percent I wanted to keep the baby but I don't feel the same this time

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Prembabymum · 27/04/2018 10:21

There is no need to feel that you should justify your decision to anyone here. Its your life and enturely your choice and there is no judgement here.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and its a tough decision to have to make. Good luck with whatever you decide xx

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 27/04/2018 10:38

I have just spoken to a counsellor. I feel that I know what I want but what is stopping me is the fear if the abortion procedure and guilt. Guilt that I gave my 2 kids a chance and not this one. Guilt that my 2 kids didn't get a choice. I know they would love to have another sibling

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MaverickSnoopy · 27/04/2018 11:05

OP I had a surgical termination 10 years ago. It was very much the right choice at the time (and still is). I will always feel solemn about it though. The procedure itself was fine. Nothing went wrong and I went home afterwards and spent a lot of time resting and taking it easy. Just remember that you gave birth twice. If you did that you can do this, if it's the decision you come to.

Guilt. It's a hard one. You shouldn't feel guilty for your children because they will never know. You sound like you know what you want to do. Might you feel guilty if you keep the baby? I think whatever you do in this situation there's always going to be the risk of guilt.

Talking is definitely the way forwards her and no one here is going to judge you.

RedWineAllMine · 27/04/2018 11:09

It's almost impossible to get a false positive - as it picks up the pregnancy HGC hormone, and you don't get that obvs unless your pregnant. Chances of ever getting a false negative are higher/more likely.
I would say congratulations but as this is a shock to you and not planned I can imagine your head is all over the place.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

StylishMummy · 27/04/2018 11:28

If you can afford this baby & are comfortable being an older mum, then personally I'd continue with the pregnancy. 2-3 is a far smaller adjustment than 1-2 or 0-1.

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 27/04/2018 12:57

Yes I understand about adjusting from 2 to 3 is easier than 0 to 1 or 1 to 2. I remember struggling back then. But my youngest will be nearly 7 if I keep this one. With my eldest requiring a lot of attention because he appears so spoilt (or he has issues which we've not completely figured out, just that he has sensory processing issues) and my youngest now is left on her own a lot. Her brother isn't very nice to her (jealousy) she can be completely minding her own business and he would just verbally bully her or take her things and throw it across the room and he shouts a lot. I spend a lot of my time dealing with him while she plays nicely on her own. If i had a baby, she would be left even more while I deal with the eldest and baby. I feel sorry for her and I don't want to spend less time with her. Although I think she would be really good at helping. But I want to be able to give the 2 kids equally as much attention. I'm not a great mum as my partner and my mum would say in terms of temperament. My son irritates me very easily and I could blow at things. It's not fair on another baby

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Original poster
Busymummy50 · 27/04/2018 13:01

Will i feel guilty if I kept the baby? I think I will in terms of the less time I would spend with my current 2 kids. I know all this will change as they get older but I feel I've made lots of mistakes with my eldest and I want to spend the last part of his childhood until he reaches his teens, trying to do the things I didn't do. And with my youngest I want to give her the attention she deserves. Would she prefer mummy have less time with her while she gets to be a big sister? Or would she prefer to get more time with me? Most kids would love the idea of a sibling, it's exciting but it's not always so exciting afterwards

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Original poster
Busymummy50 · 27/04/2018 14:40

I feel guilty sometimes now that I cannot give them both the attention they deserve and that's with 2 kids. I think closer in age they could get on better. Mine do play sometimes together outdoors in the garden or park.

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StylishMummy · 27/04/2018 14:45

@Busymummy50 only you can make those choices as it's absolutely your body and your decision. Maybe your DS would become more empathetic with a tiny baby in the house and learning to share the attention? Maybe your DD would appreciate a sibling who wouldn't be cruel to her? Personally I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of a termination unless the baby was profoundly disabled in utero.

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 27/04/2018 14:47

I think I will feel guilty no matter what. If i don't have it I will feel guilty for the child I lost. If i have it then I will feel guilty for giving each if my current kids less time especially the middle one because she is so independent at getting in by herself while the eldest takes most of my time having to deal with his behaviour. If the baby was to have special needs (I know it might not) then it would require more of my time and I will feel guilty even more. It's a risk having it because it could possibly make life harder for my current 2 if thing a don't go well and am I prepared to take that risk? I'm not sure

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Figgygal · 27/04/2018 14:50

I think you need to find out how pregnant you may be as that might influence your decision as to whether or not to continue with the pregnancy. Based on what you've said I don't think I would continue with it I would prioritise the children that I have already but only you can make that decision

Where is your husband or partner in all of this should not refer to them once? What do they think ?

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 27/04/2018 14:53

stylishmummy, I totally understand what you mean. I remember one if my friends having an abortion before and I thought "how could you?" I remember casually speaking to my partner years ago and we said we would keep it if I accidentally fell pregnant. Then fast forward a few years, his job is going downhill and unlikely to get better, my eldests behaviour has got worse than it was before, we are trying to move now for secondary schools and I feel more exhausted than I used to. Now I find myself in the horrible situation of thinking of a termination. I would never had before thought I would even think if it. The thing is it's not just my decision, my partner feels the same. There are too many if only things were like this or like that then we would keep it. After the initial shock, I was expecting him to say let's keep it but we sat down and thought and spoke of it logically and the cons outweighs the pros

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Original poster
Busymummy50 · 27/04/2018 14:57

Figgygal, my partner has been really supportive. He doesn't want to terminate but said that logically it might not work. I agree with him I'm not a great mother. Easily irritated by my son and we argue a lot. Us it fair on the baby? Baby will be more for my daughter as she'll love it I think but should we have another based on our daughter? We did have her based on having a sibling for our son but he was an only child. I'm scared of not giving her the attention she deserves. Her days are filled with listening to my son whine about stupid things and being put down by him...

My partner is supportive if I choose to keep it he said we would work it out somehow

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