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Original poster

2nd miscarriage in a row :(

10 replies

Mangopr1 · 15/04/2018 08:06

Well it's official I'm currently going through my 2nd miscarriage in 6 months. This is my first child and so far I'm absolutely HATING this pregnancy experience.

I feel so defeated and beginning to seriously wonder whether this will ever happen for me.

My mother suffered from a number of miscarriages and even a still birth due to a chromosome abnormality on her side. I was hoping I would not be a carrier but things don't look positive.

This has hit me so hard. I know I just need to try and try again until it happens but I'm actually concerned for my mental health if this keeps happening. Ive never been the strongest person emotionally and tend to always think the worst in situations.

My partner is devastated as well of course. He has two children already from a previous relationship but was of course still so excited to become a dad again (his children are older). Although this kind of makes me feel a bit alone in the whole situation.

I really feel for my own sanity that I need some serious time to myself. I can't even contemplate work right now. I deal with a lot of complaints in my role and I think I'd tell clients to bugger off in a less polite way in all honesty.

Do you think this is something the doctor would give me a note for? I feel guilty as the first time I just took a few days but this time just feels so more real and hurtful as I know it could possibly be a sign of something more sinister and that I may be starting the same journey as my mum. An outcome I was absolutely dreading.

Thanks for the support in advice. You lot are always so awesome xx

OP posts:
bobbinogs · 15/04/2018 08:21

Hi,

I had two consecutive miscarriages both at 11 weeks within 6 months. It is utterly heartbreaking soul destroying shit and yes go and get a sick note and take some time to care for yourself. You are dealing with real grief and all the physical and hormonal crap.

I remember finding it hard that as it was 'only 2' medical people weren't that interested yet whereas I was desperate to know why and whether it would happen again. You need to focus on getting yourself well and whole and educated and then see what happens next.

What happened next for me was two healthy pregnancies in the next two years. I conceived ds 2 months after the 2nd pregnancy. It's a distant memory for me now, the kids are 12 and 9. You are not alone and you're not at the end of the road. Take care.

bobbinogs · 15/04/2018 08:22

Sorry I mean I conceived ds 2 months after the second miscarriage

Tefiti2 · 15/04/2018 08:56

Hi @mangopr1 - really sorry you’re going through this Flowers
I have had two miscarriages in the past few months, and it is really hard. The hormones and emotions make things a bit crazy. Go to your GP and explain - they’ll be more than happy to give you time of work I’m sure, mine were really understanding. Let me know how you get on x

helloworld88 · 15/04/2018 09:02

You definitely need some time off @Mangopr1. Especially in the job you're in too! I think it would also benefit you to attend some grief counselling sessions so you get an extra person to talk to and not feel so alone this xxx

helloworld88 · 15/04/2018 09:02

You definitely need some time off @Mangopr1. Especially in the job you're in too! I think it would also benefit you to attend some grief counselling sessions so you get an extra person to talk to and not feel so alone this xxx

Essexmummy88 · 15/04/2018 09:03

I had two in a row and now am sitting with a two week old baby on my lap, conceived a matter of weeks after the second miscarriage. There is hope xx

YeahAndThenWhat · 15/04/2018 09:29

I'm sorry for you miscarriages. I agree that some time off is a good idea but, personally, I'd try and go back sooner rather than later. I went back quickly after my miscarriage and it was the best thing for me to do. I also had a customer facing role. I just know that sitting at home would have been bad for me as I would have just dwelled on it. Obviously I still dwelled on it at work but it seemed easier.

I was really lucky in that I had lovely workmates many of who had had miscarriages themselves. They were nice and motherly towards me but not in an over the top way. It helped me feel that miscarriage is very very sad but also normal. IYSWIM

You just have to work out what is right for you and I'm definitely not saying going back to work is the right thing just that it was for me.

I hope you feel better soon.

YeahAndThenWhat · 15/04/2018 09:39

I'm sorry for your miscarriages. 💐

I agree that some time off is a good idea but, personally, I'd try and go back sooner rather than later. I went back quickly after my miscarriage and it was the best thing for me to do. I also had a customer facing role. I just know that sitting at home would have been bad for me as I would have just dwelled on it. Obviously I still dwelled on it at work but it seemed easier. Its a very individual thing.

I was really lucky in that I had lovely workmates many of who had had miscarriages themselves. They were nice and motherly towards me but not in an over the top way. It helped me feel that miscarriage even when you have two is very very sad but also 'normal'. IYSWIM

You just have to work out what is right for you and I'm definitely not saying going back to work is the right thing just that it was for me.

I hope you feel better soon and good luck for the future.

PrimeraVez · 15/04/2018 10:32

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had two in the space of 5 months and it’s devastating and frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know it’s zero consolation but it really could just be shitty luck - it doesn’t necessarily indicate a major problem. I’m now 31w, having fallen pregnant a few cycles after my last MC. The first trimester was a huge anxious blur but the end goal is now in sight.

Sending you lots of positive wishes.

Original poster
Mangopr1 · 15/04/2018 10:58

Thank you all xx

I'm so angry! At myself mainly. Although I know it's not my fault it is my body doing this to me and I just want to scream at it to stop.

I feel so jealous of my partner as well. How awful is that. I'm obviously so happy for him that he has his children to help him cope but selfishly it hurts me. I feel horrible for even thinking that way. (I absolutely adore his children and in no way am I saying I wish they weren't around) it just kind of adds to the feeling of loneliness I guess!

In terms of work I understand going back may take my mind off things and the first time it helped but I don't know there's something about this 2nd time that makes me feel that I just want to be at home and take the time so surround myself with my family and my partner and just not think about work.

Thank you all for the support and I'm sorry that we've all been through this! It's just so frustrating. Xx

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