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Original poster

12 days till lap- how do I keep going?

42 replies

Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 08:56

Pelvic pain has moved from left to right. Had a real good day at work yesterday, felt really positive. Got home and had the worst pelvic pain on the right side every couple of hours... even woke me up in the night which it never does.
I’m so tired of all this and I know it’s only 12 days till I get some answers but I don’t know how to cope in the meantime. I’m losing weight rapidly, my hair is falling out. I cry all the time and I’m in pain. HELP

OP posts:
Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 09:16

Bump x

OP posts:
Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 12:27

HELP

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SpadesOfGlory · 14/04/2018 13:16

Hi Kate, I didn't want to leave your post unanswered...sorry you're feeling so rubbish. Whats your story? Feel free to rant here, TTC is the worst, I get it. We've been trying for a year with no joy and I'm off to the doctors in a couple of weeks to plead with them to do all the tests and figure out what's wrong with me.

Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 13:24

Thank you, i had a MC in January. Around February started getting pelvic pain which is getting progressively worse. Pain in my coccyx, backside... just horrible. Waiting for a laparoscopy which is 12 days away. Just feeling so depressed with the pain being so bad I’ve convinced myself I have a very severe form of endometriosis. I’m so scared, this laparoscopy frightens the life out of me.. the thought of future complex surgeries makes me want to die

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italianwifey · 14/04/2018 13:27

Hi OP. Sorry to hear this is all causing u so much pain and worry. In terms of the pain if you have got endo best thing you can do is reduce the amount of inflammatory food you eat. Reduce sugar, gluten/wheat and I found that really helped me.

If it reassures you in anyway I have had two surgeries for my endo now and I had/have severe endo.... I am feeling tonnes better since my op and pain has reduced to much more manageable levels. Also you don't know until you have had the op so try if you can not to worry about it too much - as it may be the case all the worrying was for no reason! Hope you feel better soon.

SpadesOfGlory · 14/04/2018 13:29

The unknown is always scary...you're allowed to be worried about it. Must be horrible living with pain like that though, I really hope the lap shows up something easy and treatable and you'll be back to normal before you know it! Women have to go through so much...i genuinely thought I would get pregnant easily, but it's utterly soul destroying dealing with the disappointment each month.

I'm seriously considering paying for a pelvic ultrasound to see if I can get any answers any quicker.

Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 13:31

It’s just such a horrible pain I don’t know how to “get on with it”. I’m moping around waiting for the next wave of pain. Then when I do get pain I go into major panick mode. I just don’t know what to do. I know it’s only 12 days but it feels like a lifetime x

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SpadesOfGlory · 14/04/2018 15:03

Can the GP give you anything stronger for the pain even just until the lap? Must be horrible Sad

Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 15:32

Yes will have to do that. That’s if I’m here then, I really don’t want to live like this much longer. I’ve had enough, got no life. I’m a recluse in pain. I lost my baby in the new year... I don’t see the point in living

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Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 15:38

I keep saying I’m suicidal but my family think I’m just being a drama queen because I have a history of anxiety and depression. I think I’m going to die on the operating table aswell so really my life sucks at the moment x

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SpadesOfGlory · 14/04/2018 16:48

I know it's probably very hard, but try to look at it rationally....many many women miscarry and go on to have healthy babies, it's so common, but no less devastating when it happens.

Serious complications during or after a laparoscopy only occur less than 1% of the time too according to google. I'd take that as a 99% guarantee that you'll be ok and they'll be able to find out what's wrong and fix you up. Pretty good odds really Smile

physicskate · 14/04/2018 16:56

Kate. You need to see your GP as soon as possible. I have felt that way a few times over the past year or so since it became clear we can't get pregnant.

Or maybe phone Samaritans today?
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I have found anti-depressants to help me cope on a day to day basis with infertility. Are you taking anything? It might need adjusting? Counselling was also pretty helpful (up to a point).

But that isn't the physical stuff, which it sounds like is worse at the moment. Have you found anything that helps at all? Heat? Ibuprofen, paracetamol and codeine?

Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 16:56

I just want my life back, if I was thinking rationally I would asbsutely take all those facts on board but my head it all over the place. I’m so so so scared of the pain and the serverity. I know some women wait months for a lap and are in pain years. So I get I have the luxury of only 12 days with a couple of months of pain but everyday is still hard x

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Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 16:59

I don’t want the pain anymore. I won’t accept I’m in daily pain so when it starts I can feel the inside of my body going into hysterics....
My Gp is very insistent of waiting for the lap as the pain is definitely the root problem, there’s just other shit on top. I’m taking loads of painkillers which I’ll have to keep doing until the lap x

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physicskate · 14/04/2018 17:48

You don't deserve the pain. I am hopeful (and you should be too) that you will feel better soon. You are getting help. You won't feel like this forever.

Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 18:25

I’ll see how the weekend goes, if it gets too much I know what I need to do..

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physicskate · 14/04/2018 19:23

What do you need to do?

Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 19:24

End it all

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physicskate · 14/04/2018 19:27

That's not true at all. Time is a great healer - if not for your physical pain, for the emotional anguish you're going through. I've had several people who were important to me commit suicide and it leaves a whole other set of baggage for everyone left behind. Think of your other half!!!

Honestly, call Samaritans. They helped me 9 months ago when I was at my worst.

physicskate · 14/04/2018 19:32

Kate whereabouts are you?? I would be happy to come and see you and listen.

Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 19:33

I just don’t care anymore. I’ve lost my identity. I sit and wait for pain which consumes my life... I don’t want to put up with it anymore. I need knock out painkillers what I have is not enough x

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Original poster
Kate8989 · 14/04/2018 19:34

I’m in Brighton, that’s really kind I do have my Husband here so if I attempt something he is here x

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physicskate · 14/04/2018 19:36

You won't be in pain much longer though. I know you know that what you're thinking isn't rational, and it isn't. Have you got paracetamol with codeine? I find it knocks me out. Less than two weeks, which is nothing really.

I care.

physicskate · 14/04/2018 19:38

I felt like I'd lost my identity. That is become 'the infertile one'. I can be in Brighton on monday. It's not a problem if you'd like some company from someone who gets it.

Help is here. And with the Samaritans.

physicskate · 14/04/2018 19:39

Have you talked to your husband about this? I think you should...

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