Am I being over sensitive?

[inajam]

Or was this a bit thoughtless?

AF due this week, so I realise I’m probably taking things a bit more to heart than usual.

This month I told my sister we are TTC, mainly because she keeps telling me she would like a niece or nephew, so I thought I should tell her we are trying/struggling to hopefully stop the comments. She has children of her own, if it’s relevant. Anyway, yesterday, I received a message to say she is starting to sell breast feeding friendly clothes, so could I ‘pass on the website to any mummy friends’.

Really? Is that not a big kick in the teeth? She had no trouble TTC so I can only assume she wouldn’t really think that may be upsetting.

I’m not sure how many more months I can cope with this!

She selling her old breastfeeding clothes, or starting a business??

Maybe she didn’t realise you’re struggling and thought you were just mentioning you are ttc? I do think some people don’t understand the heartache of it not happening. It doesn’t sound as though she was being overly thoughtless but more that she hasn’t realised how it is.

Maybe she was subtly trying to find out if you're pregnant. She may not realise how upsetting it is for you. x

Yes, that makes sense. She probably hasn’t considered how we’re feeling about it when they had a really smooth journey to parenthood.

I don't think there's anything wrong in what she's done. Unless you wanted her to keep hold of the clothes to pass onto you? Unless you had a real heart to heart and told her all things baby related make you upset at the moment. Breastfeeding is quite separate to ttc in my view.

It’s not the breastfeeding clothes per say that upset me, more the part about passing it onto mummy friends (highlighting that I am not a mummy....)

AF has arrived since posting so I think it’s fair to say I’m probably a bit more touchy than normal.

I think it may be worth mentioning how these things affect you. A friend of mine kept joking about me ‘getting a move on’ with having a baby and I pointed out that although I knew she was just joking around, she didn’t know what our situation was and she apologised.

You'll be a lot happier if you try to put this school of thought aside. I've seen infertility destroy long friendships because the person struggling starts to take offence to innocuous comments or thinks people aren't doing enough to be 'sensitive'.

I think you're being a little sensitive, sorry. I know it's really hard, but she would have said exactly the same thing if you were pregnant, or if you already had a child.

To be honest I think you're being really over sensitive.

Fair enough