Struggling with when is the right time for a second

[Bonbon86]

We have dd1 who is 4 and would like to have a second. Dh is more eager than me.
Bit of background and why I can't decide what's best:

1. After dd1 arrived, we went through a tough time as a couple. It's taken a while but feel we are back on track and envisage dc2 being a different experience especially with how dh is feeling about it (I think he wasn't quite ready for it last time) I worry that dc2 will trigger memories of what happened 1st time and will take me back to a bad place, but then when I think about it, that's likely to happen regardless of when we have a 2nd if it's gonna happen.
2. I'm finally drinking again, making friends, having a social life. I don't want to lose that, but I'll have to at some point, so maybe it's better sooner rather than later? I just don't know.
3. I'm not sure about my job. I changed career about 18 months ago and I like the choice but not currently happy where I am. Too stressed, over worked, relentless. It's impacting my mental health, so is it better to change jobs before hand, knowing that I want to wait a few months to see if things change here, if not, then I'd have to get a new job, get through probation and I wouldn't want to head off on mat leave too quickly after starting somewhere new. It could turn into 18 months before we're settled enough. Is it better to do it while I am where I am, as I can possibly further my study while on mat leave (tough I know but possible) and if it still sucks when I return, then I can change then. At least I'm comfortable where I am.
4. Finances. As always, we earn a lot less than we did first time (half as much). But then dh did also lose his job during first mat leave so we had a period of very little money and then he was out of work again for 12 months when dd was 2. At least now we are both in secure roles and ones that you don't take any work home with you. And people with far less than us do it and cope.

Thoughts and advice and opinions. I so want another and dh is worried that if we don't have one soon, we won't. He wants to have children that are siblings and still close enough to play together rather than having 2 separate kids if that makes sense. It's lovely to see him so eager and passionate about something and it was mainly my choice last time (he wanted a child but think he was a bit out of his depth and scared, but went for it anyway for me I expect) so it seems nice to let him be the driving force this time

How old are you OP?

My DS1 was 3.5 years old when DS2 and admittedly I worry that even that age gap is too big.

Me and DH had a very tough time after DS1 (I left him at one point) but it’s been very different with DS2 as we knew what to expect and we’ve worked really well as a team this time round.

All your points are valid but honestly, if you can think of all those reasons not to have a baby then perhaps you shouldn’t. I know the decision to have a baby should be looked at practically but you do seem to be focused on the negatives of having a baby as opposed to the positives that having another baby will bring to your life. Maybe your doubts and concerns are just your inner self telling you that aren’t ready just yet?

As the previous poster asked too, how old are you as that too will have to factor in to your decision.

I'm 32 so there's still time. I think I'm an over thinker generally and I'm always toward the overly practical. I suffer with anxiety so a lot of my concerns are exaggerated.
I guess I'm just worried of either option being the wrong choice as I can see both the good reasons and the bad and I don't want to rush.