Conceiving at 45+

[EternalOptometrist]

Hi all,

I'm brand new here so please be gentle with me :)

I'm a 42yo man, and my partner is 45 with 2 wonderful little girls from a previous relationship. We haven't been together for a massive amount of time, but I'm as sure as I can be that she's the woman I want to spend my life with. We're so perfect for each other that it's ridiculous, and we're incredibly in love and happy together.

The only potential problem is that I want children of my own. I've thought about this a lot since we got together, as I knew her age could be a potential issue here. I've really thought about whether being a step-dad to her girls would be enough to fulfil that need in me, but I'm pretty sure I would regret not having children of my own. It's been something I've wanted all my life.

So my question to you all is - what are our options here? Obviously natural conception - I know the statistics are pretty bleak for a woman of 45+ but not impossible, and there are risks to both her and potential baby. Is IVF still an option at this age? Surrogacy? Miracle from the sky? I just don't know what options are available to us really or where to turn to for advice.

Thanks in advance.
EO

Your best chances of success will come from using donor eggs. Honestly, the chances of natural conception are likely to be less than 1%.

Rather than making any assumptions it could be worth going and getting some tests done if you can afford to do so. You could get AMH checked which gives you an indication of ovarian reserve - although it doesn't tell you anything about egg quality of course. You could also get a semen analysis done for completeness. Depending where you go for tests they should then be able to advise you on best options.

Have you started ttc as yet? Perhaps start and then seek out advice or options if it seems to be taking a while.