TTC no 2 - WWYD?

[theworstwife]

Looking for advice as I can be a bit of a catastrophiser.

DH and I have a 3 year old DS and who was conceived the 2nd month of trying. Periods didn't return as breast feeding until DS was 1 and since then have been irregular from 29 to 46 days.

Since having DS we have had a lot of stress (think moving house 5 times and both starting new jobs) so only started TTC no 2 10 months ago. I am now 35 and DH is 39. I have used OPKs and seem to ovulate, tried temping but sleep is a problem for me so I haven't been able to do it properly.

Nothing has happened - I saw GP and had bloods - normal FSH, possibly raised LH and I'm awaiting an ultrasound. I feel so low when my period appears and I'm worried for how this is affecting everyone else.

Me and DH have discussed what we could do. He is a lot more laid back and optimistic than me but I am very conscious of my age. We have agreed we would pursue things up to 1-2 cycles of IVF. Just wondering what you would do next? I feel our options are

1. Just keep trying, OPKs, maybe temping if I can be less crap at it
2. Try some herbal things like Agnus cactus or soy isoflavones to see if I can sort my hormones out - worried these could make things worse
3. Try pre-seed although sticking goop up prior to sex seems a bit of passion killer
4. Go to a fertility clinic and have a full set of test - AMH, HyCoSy, semen analysis etc - my concern being that this will almost definitely lead to investigations/treatments whether tests are OK or not and might be too early.

So... if you've gotten this far WWYD? I am being bonkers worrying too early or should I get myself down to the fertility clinic? Any positive/negative experiences with Agnus, soy or pre-seed.

Thank you for your help

Our 2nd took 9 months to conceive after only a few weeks with the first one.
After 5 months we tried agnus cactus and 8 months I got acupuncture.
Best of luck hope it happens soon for you

Thanks @twobambinos. Did you continue the Agnus cactus from 5 months until you conceived? For the accupuncture is it a particular type?

Ya I kept taking the agnus cactus. I can't remember what it was for maybe regulating cycles or something. It's vile though.

My periods were very light and the acupuncture person told me to try increase circulation by eating warming foods and that kind of stuff. I think the placement of he needles depend on what issues they think you have. I don't know if it was what worked but i felt it was worth a shot.

I will have a look into the accupuncture - I've never had it before but it's worth a shot, thanks

It can just take a while Unfortunately not what anyone wants to hear but there may be nothing at all wrong. Fingers crossed.

It’s perfectly normal to take up to 2 years to conceive. I’ve conceived twice while on the pill and have been ttc for 18 months now with no luck. I wouldn’t bother with a fertility clinic at this stage as you aren’t even at the 12 month mark yet so it’s unlikely they will do any tests

My only concern is in 2 years I will be nearly 37. I would pay privately for fertility testing/treatment so could do it whenever

If you’re over 35 then a GP will refer you to a fertility clinic. They won’t do it until you’ve been ttc for a year if you’re under 35 but for over 35’s, it’s 6 months so it’s worth asking your GP about it

I had 2 conceptions in the first month of trying (1 resulting in a Mmc), dd2 took 12 months to conceive. I was 36. My doctor said it was completely normal but when you're in the middle of it it feels like a very long time. No harm in having some tests done I think. Best of luck!

Because I have a DS GP won’t really refer me anywhere, fertility treatment on the NHS is very limited where we are unfortunately for everyone. You are right sultana, each month seems like an eternity

I understand where you’re coming from op. We have a 2 year old and are slightly younger at 33 and 36. We’ve been trying over a year now and have had initial tests at the GP and in our area we could be referred for testing but that’s it no IVF.

We have decided to get tested in April at a private clinic near us. But if they come back clear then we will keep trying until the end of the year before pursuing IVF.

It’s hard and I don’t think that you’re bonkers to want to get tested now. If there are issues it’s better to know earlier than later.

I think we might give it 2 more months maybe with trying acupuncture or something and then book in for some tests. In some ways I would rather know if it’s not going to happen as the hope is killing me. Day 36 if my cycle today

Yep, it's the hope that's a killer. Every month you tell yourself not to get your hopes up, and every month you can't help it. I feel for you and really hope it happens for you soon.

Thanks sultana, trying to cope better but feel my ovaries drying up! Attempting to not POAS or symptom spot - think AF is about to turn up tonight or tomorrow

It took us over 3 years to conceive DD so when we started ttc #2 we set a date and said that if it didn't happen by then we'd go private for tests. Doing so gave me a semblance of feeling in control. We conceived quite quickly twice within the set timeframe but lost both pregnancies. After the second loss we set another deadline and once we reached that we went for tests. In between the bloods being taken and getting the results I fell pregnant again. The tests showed up a few issues I could take medication for and thankfully so far so good.

Our timescales were always to give ourselves a year so in your shoes I'd probably give it a few more months and then go for some tests if it hasn't happened by then.

Having felt like we didn't seek help early enough when ttc #1 I wasn't prepared to do the same this time around especially as I was very conscious of my age. Good luck.

Thanks welshmammy, I think I need to have a plan - you’re right it gives you a bit of control back. I think I’ll try for another two months and then look to have some tests

Dull period cramps today but no period yet - day 37, wish it would just come now so I can focus on next month

I am 39yrs old (40 in 2mths) and am lying in bed next to my 13wk old son who we conceived in 5mths.
We used preseed the month we conceived (loads of fun and we just incorporated it into foreplay). DP also took a conception vitamin.
Up to 2yrs is perfectly normal to conceive and you’ll still be young.
We’re going to hopefully try for number 2 in December when we’ll be 40 and 42.

Thanks MaryShelley, I think I have been appproaching 35 as almost the edge of a cliff of my fertility so now I’m here and still no luck I feel like I’ve missed my chance. Good to here you found the preseed ok to use - might have a look at getting some then. Willing to try everything and anything really. Have a lovely morning with your DS