Are my TTC plans mental?

[PrettyWisdomous]

Just hoping for some thoughts on my situation, please?

DC1 is 8wks old. DP & I have always said that we want a small age gap between our children. However, we are getting married March 2019. I want to be able to enjoy my wedding day, so I don't really want to be pregnant then.

Would it be inconceivable to TTC now with the view to having the baby by end Feb? I guess this means if we don't fall pg by May then we would need to stop TTC until after the wedding, which would mean a minimum of 2yrs between the DC (which is longer than we dreamed of).

The rational part of me knows that if we manage to conceive and have DC2 before the wedding that I'll be dealing with a newborn and sleep deprivation on the wedding day... Also, pregnancy will make dress shopping difficult

Childcare costs will be so much higher with a small age gap as they will both be in nursery before the oldest turns 3... But I love the idea of the DC being very close in age, being best friends, having similar interests and playing together...

Logically, it makes more sense to wait, but I'm so broody!! I switch between "let's do it" and "no way" about 5 times a day.

This may all be irrelevant anyway as we had unprotected sex for the first time yesterday I doubt I'm fertile as I'm breastfeeding (not quite exclusively, DC has one bottle a day) and my period hasn't started yet. But I know that it's possible to be fertile before your periods start up again.

Am I mental? Should I just go with a NTNP mindset and what will be, will be?

Yes defo unreasonable

Can't you just enjoy your baby for a bit? I can't imagine anything worse than being pregnant with a tiny baby to look after.

There is no guarantee that a small gap will mean they get on. Mine have a 2.7 year gap and play together every day.

A friend had a 15 month gap and couldn't leave her 2 together in the house alone even when they were teenagers because they quite literally broke the house and each other.

As for having similar interests....They'll be two different children. No guarantee whatsoever that they'll like the same things!!

Fortunately mine like different toys so rarely squabble over who plays with what. Who knew that star wars lego and toy fire engines could be part of the same game ?!

Well if you feel ready again only 8 weeks after giving birth than by all means go for it. However, if you really set you mind to conceiving and it doesn’t happen, do you really think you’d be able to put it on ice and not try again for a whole year (I know I couldn’t)?

Personally, I think I’d either look to bring the wedding forward to this year so it would only be a few months to wait, or I’d wait until after the wedding. Being pregnant at the wedding would be one thing but it could clash with your due date depending on how long it takes you to conceive.

I’d sit down with your DP and discuss priorities, whether it’s another DC ASAP or whether it’s sticking to the March 2019 wedding date.

Good points, Snow, thanks. It's nice to be reminded that siblings with a normal bigger age gap can still play nicely together.

Just enjoy your dc

Sounds stressful even reading about it all

maybe I am a bit mental! I don't know why I want to rush it all...