What am I doing wrong ?

[Atpleaseletitbemyturn]

Another month and another disappointing arrival of AF. What am I doing wrong? I'm 37 ... DTD every day after Period. Drink in moderation. Caffeine in moderation. No sugar/junk processed food. Weight 65kgs (size8/10), train 6 days - so pretty fit. Take a multi-vit and folic acid. No medical reason for not being able to get pregnant. What else can I do? I'm exhausted! Should I stop drinking ? Cut out caffeine ? Lose weight ? Stop training ? Any advice no matter how ridiculous would be appreciated!

What’s your bmi? Are you very muscular?
Your body needs a certain amount of fat to sustain a pregnancy.
How long have you been TTC?

When you say DTD after period, do you literally mean every single day? Do you track your cycle/ovulation? It took 4 months for me to become pregnant the first time and then I read 'Taking charge of your fertility' by Zita West and lo and behold I was doing it completely wrong! No idea about ovulation, no idea about fertile periods etc etc!

Pregnant the next month and then pregnant at the first attempt with DD

BMI is 22 I don't know my body fat % at the minute. I'm athletic, not muscular I guess. Been trying over 2 years.

Ah. 2 years is a long time, have you seen your GP?

Nothing. Sometimes you can do everything right and it still doesn’t happen. I’ve been trying for 18 months now. Dtd the right times, eating better, drinking less, taking vitamins. I don’t smoke or drink caffeine. But I haven’t been pregnant yet and there’s no medical reason they’ve found as to why I’ve not been. It’s a lottery, honestly. Remember a perfectly healthy couple only has a 25% chance of conceiving every month which are terrible odds. Just keep doing what you’re doing and hopefully one day soon, you’ll get there. Good luck

Been for the full fertility screening - everything was fine. Next step is private IVF, but they can't find a reason why it shouldn't happen naturally.

@SnowiestMountain yes every day in the fertile window ! Then it tails off towards my period. I think I know when I'm ovulating. Been told by the Dr not to use home ovulation tests as they are unreliable.

So you're not doing anything wrong then, good luck lovely, hopefully it'll be your time very soon.

Have you thought of tracking your temperature? I did this for a few months before ttc just to familiarise myself with my cycle and ovulation days. I found it really helpful as you can pinpoint ovulation, whereas an opk only shows when you might be going to ovulate - if you track your temperature it'll show you if/when you have.

Hi, you don't need to dtd every day, you are putting too much pressure on yourself and your partner. I know it's hard (tried for 5 years) but try to relax and have fun again, don't make it all about getting pregnant. I had a mmc around Xmas 2016 and didn't 'try' after that and it turns out because I stopped that's when it happened for me. Fingers crossed for you. xx

Read the book 'taking charge of your fertility'

@BeanSprout79 I'm sorry for your loss x x We try to make it not all about getting pregnant and have always had a strong physical relationship so every day or twice a day isn't unusual for us. Might try the temp, but was trying to avoid really tracking my ovulation to try and avoid the focus on getting pregnant. Clearly that's working really well !

I can’t go into the specifics of it (as I can’t remember the conversation exactly) but one of my customers at work is a personal trainer. She was telling me last week that too much exercise can hinder conception. Of course I’m not saying this is the cause but I didn’t realise it was a bad thing when ttc.

@Thelampshadelady I have heard too much training can cause your body to go into 'stress' or something like that. But I'm not training excessively, so not sure it would apply to me. Clearly not willing to give up the one thing that keeps me sane

We have been trying for over 2 years too and they don’t know why it’s not happening. It sucks and seems so unfair.
We are waiting for IVF referral

Good luck @Fiestylittleowl our only option is private IVF, it's tough isn't it

Have you had other tests done? Like your tubes and your cervix? We had all manner of them done on both of us but until I started to mention that I had really heavy periods they then looked into an ultrasound and found I had a massive polyp where my egg would normally have implanted so that was perhaps why and it turns out it was a major factor!! Shame it took nearly 4 years for them to find it!! xx

Try only DTD in your 5 day fertile window. You can find this out by using a ovulation calculator online, or download the apps like Flo or Ovia. I am fertile at the start of my fertile window, not near the end. I know this because I've fell pregnant towards the start of my ovulation, not towards the end. There is such a thing as trying too hard. The sperm has to reach the egg at precisely the right moment. Now I'm no gynaecologist but it's worth a try!

Have you checked your thyroid levels? The “normal” ranges that most surgeries have do not apply to those trying to conceive or are pregnant. Sorting this out helped us conceive straight away after years of trying.

Agreed you need your bloods checked. Your GP surgery can do it - the nurse takes it. You need to push it Op, your not doing enough about it. Go to your GP and demand answers. If they fob you off see a different Gp and go again and again.

Thanks ladies, had a whole range of tests done from initial tests with GP to seeing a fertility specialist. Nothing wrong medically. They have advised us to start IVF. Which would be private. I want to know I've given it my best shot before going down that road. I had the GLow app - but deleted it why trying not to focus on getting pregnant. We do the DTD as soon as period tails off (even when I'm still having some spotting - sorry for the TMI)
I did think part of it was for the first year I working for a really stressful firm. So I even changed jobs - no luck !!

I was using an app and only started with OPK recently and it turns out I ovulate much earlier in my cycle, which is not unusual so perhaps you could try that? I've read that too much exercise is bad for fertility, maybe you could consider reducing the amount and level of physical activity you're doing? We're on cycle 8 and getting fed up (actually considering giving up all together!), am now on all the vitamins and juices. Really hope you get your result soon xx