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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Currently having my 3rd chemical pregnancy - not coping anymore 😪💔

25 replies

Ameliaxo · 21/02/2018 18:37

Weve been trying for a baby for 5 months now and im now having my third chemical pregnancy. Im so done with everything theres clearly something wrong with me or ive done something so bad that i dont deserve children so what is the point in me even being here anymore. What have i ever done to deserve this when everyone else has it so easy and gets pregnant immediately when they dont even want children.

Heart is broken again when it hadnt even healed yet 💔💔💔😪😪😪☀️

OP posts:

balljuggla · 21/02/2018 18:48

There is nothing wrong with you lovey, please don't bash in This process can be so painful and nothing can help you prepare for it either. It looks like you are fertile though, have you been diagnosed with any issues or had any tests?
Have you got support IRL as going through this stuff is so hard and draining? Xxx

ronswansonstache · 21/02/2018 18:49

I'm so sorry you are going through this. CPs are reasonably common (I've had 2) but three in five months does sound like something you should get checked out. Have you seen your gp? They could start off doing blood tests, or check for uterine fibroids that could affect successful implantation.

Try not to lose hope

Original poster

Ameliaxo · 21/02/2018 18:58

I havent had tests for anything as no one knows about these except for me im so fed up and drained doesnt help that at work one woman brings her baby in to see everyone as shes on maternity leave, another is 20 weeks pregnant and another has just announced her pregnancy and im here with something wrong with me just cant bear to go through life any longer like this

OP posts:

Imnotposhjustquaint · 21/02/2018 18:59

You’ve done absolutely NOTHING wrong sweetheart.

I have had 3 chemicals (that I know about) 2 MC’s but I also have a beautiful DD.

If it wasn’t for having access to pregnancy tests that detect HCG so early then I wouldn’t have known any better. They happen more than anyone realises. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It really is hell.

tattychicken · 21/02/2018 18:59

I believe progesterone supplements can help in these circus, might be worth asking about?

Original poster

Ameliaxo · 21/02/2018 19:03

My gp is useless wont help me with anythin let alone anything like this 😪😪

OP posts:

iamloading · 21/02/2018 19:15

Hugs. It can sometimes feel never ending can't it. I've never had a miscarriage but I tried for two years to get pregnant and my daughter was stillborn. Thought I'd never get over it but I'm now sat here 13 weeks pregnant and touch wood everything is looking good. Never give up x

Original poster

Ameliaxo · 21/02/2018 19:21

I just know it will never happen. If i make it through the night im having the implant put in tomorrow. Ive really truly had enough

OP posts:

SoozC · 21/02/2018 19:25

It can be very hard. I'm sorry for your losses. I've been trying 2 years with one mc to show for it, so it might not seem like it, but the fact you are getting pregnant is a positive. I hope that doesn't offend you, I'm just trying to say that there is still hope. Go and see your GP, as after three chemicals they may do some tests. In the meantime, you may want to try something like 75mg soluble aspirin daily as apparently it can help with early miscarriages (I am not medically trained - please do some research and make a decision yourself). I am taking it myself this cycle, in case I was to get preggers again to help prevent mc, although it took 20 cycles to get the first bfp, so I'm not holding out much hope.

Good luck and look after yourself, it is a very difficult thing to go through x

ClaryFray · 21/02/2018 19:27

No advice OP just a virtual hug :( it can be a sucky journey ttc. You'll get there xx

tattychicken · 21/02/2018 19:29

Change your GP if he/she is rubbish. Whatever happens, you need confidence and trust in them.

Original poster

Ameliaxo · 21/02/2018 19:30

Thanks for your replies everyone i just dont want to be here anymore 💔

OP posts:

ronswansonstache · 21/02/2018 19:57

You've been through a lot in a short period of time.

The thing is that no one really prepares you for the anguish of TTC when things don't go to plan. All our lives we're told that a single slip up with contraception will lead to pregnancy but very often it's not that simple. Not to mention that when you're struggling everyone around you seems to be having babies.

Give yourself time to grieve OP & I really would recommend seeking medical advice even if it means changing GP. As awful as it is to think something might be wrong, many problems can be treated & you don't have to give up hope.

MNHQ

LouMumsnet · 21/02/2018 20:25

Hello OP, we're sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It sounds like you're having a particularly tough time of it right now.

We really hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources in the hope that, when MNers are going through a tough time, it might help to have some useful pointers.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

Original poster

Ameliaxo · 21/02/2018 21:36

I dont need help.

OP posts:

physicskate · 21/02/2018 22:12

Op. I've been where you are. I've thought myself shit and unworthy of children. In ttc for the last two years I've had two chemical pregnancies. Both people I'm close to who have become pregnant in the last two years fell pregnant at the same time.

I've thought of harming myself (I don't think like this at the moment).

What I'm saying is you aren't alone...

fannythrobbing · 21/02/2018 22:33

OP I had three back to back early miscarriages in five months too. My fourth pregnancy stuck and I'm now pregnant again.

Speak to your GP generally you should be referred to the recurrent pregnancy loss clinic at your local hospital for further tests (which will hopefully come back with no serious issue and you'll go on to have a successful pregnancy.)

I know how devastating this is so make sure you give yourself time to grieve and heal. Please speak to your GP and get referred for investigation

FrozenMargarita17 · 21/02/2018 22:45

You poor thing, these are for you

AnotherOriginalUsername · 22/02/2018 07:23

@Ameliaxo with all due respect, if you're feeling this way, then you do need help. Unfortunately, needing help and being ready to accept help are two very different things.

Speak to your GP. If they won't help then seek a second opinion. When you do get pregnant, you need to be in top condition both physically and mentally as it's going to be a tough ride on both fronts. It will feel like pregnancy will solve all your problems right now, but it's not quite as straight forward as that.

Speak up, get help, there's no need to be suffering like this alone.

MynameisJune · 22/02/2018 09:44

I’m really sorry you’re suffering and I hope it doesn’t sound insensitive but what tests are you using when you get a positive? I’m not at all saying that this is the case but blue dye tests are notorious for false positives. There are lots of threads on here at the minute where people have got positives on blue dye tests but negatives on pink dye, digital and even blood tests.

I do understand the heartache, we TTC DD for 6 years, and trying for a 2nd has been over a year now with a miscarriage last year.

I think 3 cp in 5 months is too much and you should at least either see a GP or have you thought about going privately?

WearTheFoxHat77 · 22/02/2018 11:17

I've had 3 cp in 7 months and I feel how you do, my gp has referred me to gyne and I have to wait a month to see what happens and wait for an appointment.

What I'm trying to say is I'm in the same boat as you and if u want to chat or anything just pm me

allthegoodnamesalreadytaken · 22/02/2018 11:30

OP I could have written your post two years ago, exactly the same thing happened to me 3 chemicals in a row. It's so disheartening. I now have a 19 month old that we conceived in month 6 so there is hope at the end of the tunnel. What worked for me was taking aspirin everyday from the moment I got bfp. Wasn't prescribed or anything but i read stories online where it had worked for others. Good luck

strawberrye · 23/02/2018 07:15

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. TTC is such an emotional rollercoaster and I don't think anyone ever really prepares you for it...I think a lot of women spend so much time trying not to get pregnant when we start actually TTC it's a massive shock to the system if we don't conceive quickly. On top of that it seems we are surrounded by pregnant women and babies and sometimes it can be really hard not to be jealous. Honestly I feel like TTC at times is sending me crazy, and I sympathize with a lot of the things you are saying.

One thing I've found is because I don't speak to anyone irl about TTC (apart from DH who is fairly laid back about it all) is that it can be incredibly isolating. Combine that with how crap TTC can make you feel I think it can be the perfect recipe for developing mental health problems. Even if you feel your GP isn't helpful with the TTC aspect I'm sure they would want to help you if they knew you were feeling like this.

I really hope you feel you can reach out to someone on here or irl about how you're feeling. Feel free to PM. Good luck and I hope you feel more hopeful in yourself soon xx

physicskate · 23/02/2018 09:47

Just checking in OP - I know I'd appreciate that in your shoes.

We're all here for you if you want to vent/ talk.

It took me four GP appointments to find one who would listen to me...

newmum2018385 · 23/02/2018 10:02

Aww OP I really feel for you. I ttc for two years before DD arrived and I know it feels like everyone else just seems to be getting pregnant. Miscarriage is a lot more common than you realise people just never talk publicly about it. Only me, DH and my doctor knew we were trying the whole two years.
If your not happy with your GP request someone else. I think three in five months warrants some investigation. Please don't give up.

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