2 days late, not pregnant, hot at night-is this perimenopause?

[cobaltblue27]

Have already posted once in last week but am now in TERRIBLE state of anxiety and worry about being in perimenopause.

Issues:-

• Cycles returned one month after stopping breastfeeding when DS was 12 months. Had another 29 days later. Now day 30 and NOTHING
• last two nights have been a bit sweaty and had to change pyjama jacket - menopause??
• terrible insomnia (anxiety about infertility but also travelling with work and stressed about that)
• used to suffer terribly with cyclically cystic breasts-incredibly painful. This happened aged around 28-9 and went to breast specialist who prescribed starflower oil which totally solved problem. Didn’t get breast tenderness in last two pregnancies at all. Now have tiny and saggy breasts after feeding DS 1 for 10 months and DS 2 for 11 months-sign of low hormones??
• to autoimmune diseases meaning have 10% chance of developing early ovarian failure as well. Am 35
• really really want to have another baby (despite having suffered terrible PND after both babies so feel anxious but desperate too)
• DS1 conceived in one month aged 31, and DS2 took 2 months at 33

I am so so stressed. Please someone reassure me.

Bump....sorry seriously stressed. Please someone offer advice?

What age did your mother go through menopause? 35 is a bit early, I would have thought...

You need to calm down. It's not unusual for cycles to be a bit variable anyway, but you've only just finished breastfeeding!! I would imagine it's in some ways like coming off the pill and might take time for your body to cycle regularly on its own.

Are you ttc now?? If so, it's totally normal to take up to a year. Just because it happened quickly before (twice!) doesn't mean you'll hit the jackpot and conceive quickly a third time!!

Honestly, you having anxiety about infertility is irrational and insulting to women with actual infertility (like me - ttc 2 years, unexplained which means there's no reason for me not to be conceiving).

Hi there,

I think perhaps your anxiety is getting the better of you- been there, done that (not about TTC). Have you had any help for your anxiety? It’s awful to be consumed with worrying as it begins to affect everything else.

I think you need to take a step back from thinking about TTC and perhaps try and get on top of the anxiety. Think about it this way, worrying doesn’t change the outcome of anything. I’ve suffered from health anxiety in the past, and I would go through worst case scenarios exactly like you have. Things that we’re innocuous and normal world suddenly become symptoms of impending doom!

I hope you feel better soon xxx

My cycles took a while to regulate after stopping breastfeeding, so it could just be that. I really don't think you have anything to worry about at this point.
Perhaps a trip to see GP to get your anxiety in check though.

So you're one day late on cycle 3 after stopping breastfeeding?

I think you might be focusing some existing anxiety on your fertility? It's not unusual for cycles to be irregular for a while after stopping breastfeeding as your hormones readjust.
It might be useful to speak to your GP about how you're feeling.

Hunni anxiety is blinking hard and can wear even the strongest down but don't underestimate the effect that the anxiety/stress itself could be having on your body.

It is quite common for cycles to be affected by stress. May explain why you're late??? Go easy on yourself x

If you're really worried why don't you try tracking your ovulation this next cycle once AF does eventually arrive? You may have ovulated late this cycle hence whilst you might be thinking AF is late it might actually not be at all. It's fairly common for this to happen now and again especially if your hormones are still settling x

I understand where you are coming from. I am due a visit to my gp because im having similar symptoms. I'm sure mine is hormone related in some way

I'm 36 and for the last 6-12 months hormones are awful around menstruation. For the week of my period I have night sweats, anxiety, headaches, lethargy (anaemia type feelings), period is now quite irratic ranging from 20-40days. Once period finishes, I'm back to being normal again.

The anxiety is debilitating for that week, the next week I'm looking back thinking wtf was I worrying about!

Personally, I think a trip for a check up at the gps wouldn't be a bad idea. They might have ideas to help you.

Btw - the signs you listed (night sweats, anxiety etc) are all excessively noticeable about 2 days before my period arrives and carry on for first 2-3 days of it. So if your body's reacts like mine it could be imminent

I know I have a problem with anxiety. It is absolutely horrendous. I go to doctors all the time for it. I had a very traumatic route to diagnosis of Addison’s disease when DS1 was 11 months, which involved a fit, respiratory failure, and being in intensive care on a ventilator because my adrenal glands had been gradually failing all the while people have been telling you it’s just PND. I don’t think it’s unusual to feel anxious as a result, but clearly not helping me at all! I have just accepted it as life now. I don’t think anyone can really fix it but I am really really struggling dealing with it.

To the person who felt insulted, I am so sorry. Please understand that having had my immune system attack my adrenal glands and thyroid, and thus having a greater likelihood that it will attack something else (ovaries) I am very concerned this is happening to me. Especially with the night sweats.

Still no period. Last period started Tues Jan 16th. Am away with work at the moment and on my own. Last time around (apart from delay around ITU) my periods came back 28 days regular and no issues. I guess I may have more stress, and am older. But so worried. I don’t have many friends who breastfed as long as I did. My mum and my sister did, but had their periods come back while still feeding. The sweats in particular worry me.

I’m sorry everyone. Thanks for being kind and sympathetic.

When you step back and look at it, the menopause symptoms come from an imbalance of hormones. There’s no reason why the same floopy hormones that affect that are affecting you now, without necessarily being ‘the change.’ I have PCOS and regularly get nightsweats and I too panicked about it, but my mum told me to just remember that hormones are they key, and they’re probably just a little messed up right now for whatever reason. I also suffer from anxiety so I know this is an unhelpful statement but true - worrying won’t change anything. Wait and see, it’ll probably sort itself out.

If it helps at all, I've had massive night sweats since stopping feeding (a few years ago now) normally around ovulation and again before AF is due. I think it's quite common for things to change once you've had a baby and hormones start to settle again.

I haven't had a baby but I get really hot and sweaty at night when I am due AF, it's prob just normal hormones and nothing to worry about

I’m not to sure if TTCing a DC3 is actually what you should be doing. You need to look into some therapy for your anxiety.
Bringing another child into the mix won’t help your issues.

Hello! I know this was a while ago but I’ve got some similar symptoms and wondered what it turned out to be and if you had any advice? I’m still BF and periods came back a few months ago but definitely hormones all over the place! Thanks