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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

TTC Third Child No Luck :(

14 replies

Sunshine201415 · 07/02/2018 10:39

Hi everyone,
This is my first post on here. I am really worried over secondary infertility as not having any luck with trying to conceive our much wanted baby #3. I have a 4 and 2 year old, who were both conceived within the first month of trying, and had very straightforward pregnancies and births with both. We both really want to add to our brood so started TTC again 5 months ago thinking it wouldn't take long. How wrong I have been! This has been our 5th attempt, and my PMS symptoms have started to show up, so I know it hasn't happened again.

I really don't know what has changed. I am 31 years old, my husband is 38. We are both healthy, he is a PE teacher, I'm a nutritionist, we don't smoke, hardly drink, eat healthily, etc. My periods are, for the first time, super predictable. We DTD every other day, and every day during my fertile window. I also use ovulation kits. Still nothing happens. I can't help but worry that, if we are doing everything by the book already, there must be a problem. Feeling very guilty over how upset I get every month as I already have two amazing kids, but I can't help but feel so heartbroken every time my period comes.

Has anyone else had an experience like that with TTC #3? I would love to hear from you.

Thanks :)

OP posts:

physicskate · 07/02/2018 10:53

If you aren't pregnant after a year of ttc, you would be considered secondarily infertile. 5 months is nothing...

You hit the jackpot before. Twice. You haven't hit it the third time...

Patience and persistence.

Women on this board have been ttc for years.

struggleisreal · 07/02/2018 10:54

I don't mean to be rude, but your post doesn't belong in infertility and it is quite upsetting to a number of us struggling with infertility that you have posted it here.

5 months is really not a long time to be trying - as someone who has now been trying over 2 years for my first. As you probably know, doctors won't take anything seriously for at least a year, and your chances of conceiving each month are around 30%, so you may just have been very lucky the first two times. As you have conceived naturally twice, there is no reason to believe you won't do again. If after a year you still haven't conceived, you may well be sent for tests.

I know TTC can be a stressful time, but you are definitely not even near to reaching a point where you should be thinking about infertility. I'd consider reposting this on the conception board, as those here going through IVF and other treatments are unlikely to have the best advice to offer you.

MNHQ

LornaMumsnet · 07/02/2018 10:59

OP, we're going to move this thread over to our conception topic for you - we think you'll get some more advice and support here. Hope that's okay and if there's anything else we can do, just give us a shout.

ontono3 · 07/02/2018 11:10

I could of wrote this myself I'm also ttc no3 and I also have a 4 yr old and a 18 month old only my first cycle of trying but don't even think I've played this month it does get stressful but it will happen eventually wishing all the luck xx

Annabelle4 · 07/02/2018 11:13

I think you were just incredibly lucky with your first 2.
It takes most couples 6-12 months to conceive. It's frustrating, but 5 months isn't unusual.

Good luck!

Original poster

Sunshine201415 · 07/02/2018 11:42

Thank you very much, and sorry to all, I didn't realise I had posted it to the wrong forum. Didn't mean to offend anyone, sorry again.

OP posts:

mamabear05 · 07/02/2018 11:54

@Sunshine201415 Hi there! I can't offer much advice really but I wanted to let you know you are not alone. Whilst I really do feel for those who have been trying to conceive for a long time I think it does need recognising that ttc can be stressful for anyone and if you are finding yourself anxious that is perfectly normal and acceptable. I had my first 3 children with ease and then have gone on to have two early losses back to back whilst ttc our 4th. Unfortunately there are people out there who cannot understand why I am now anxious and many that take the view that I have 3 beautiful children already so I should count myself lucky. I do of course feel very blessed but it does anger me that there is sometimes less support out there as a result since everyone's journey and circumstances are different therefore I don't believe anyone should judge! Ignore those that don't offer support. This is YOUR journey and these are YOUR emotion and it is YOUR body. I totally understand your anxiety. To feel out of control of your own body is tough on anyone!

Having said that, keep going and try to be positive! 5 months does feel like an eternity but your time will come and if it doesn't then there are steps you can take. The NHS will offer little support unless you have been trying for a year or have suffered at least 3 losses however my GP has been very kind and offered me some basic blood tests to rule out simple things like thyroid etc. She has also advised me to take a baby aspirin a day since I've had early losses. It can help thicken the uterine lining. I have Adenomyosis though so it may be individual to my case and I certainly wouldn't take anything without recommendation for my GP but it might be worth booking an appointment to ask some general questions. If you want further testing at this stage there is also the option of going private. In our area a consultation costs approx £250 initially then there are tests and prescription fees on top.

You may well have secondary infertility but you may also are more than likely not to have as well.

Keep positive and try to be patient but know that there are options.

We've decided to keep trying for now. If Im lucky enough to conceive but lose again then we're going to have a month or two off and try again. If I lose again after that then we are going to seek help privately.

These forums are about supporting one another. Feel free to post your anxieties on here x

Original poster

Sunshine201415 · 07/02/2018 12:04

@mamabear05 thanks for your kind message, and sorry to hear about your losses! I had a m/c between baby 1 and 2 too, it was heartbreaking, my heart goes out to you. I do feel that with every month that passes, it feels less likely that the next cycle will be successful, it's so difficult to stay motivated some days. Good luck to you, I hope there will be lots of baby dust for all of us this year.

OP posts:

Verity23 · 08/02/2018 03:12

This happened to me and unfortunately I don't have a happy ending yet. I fell pregnant 2nd cycle with DS1 and 1st cycle with DS2 but I've really struggled with ttc#3. It took me 10 months to fall pregnant and I miscarried a few days after finding out. I then fell pregnant again 2 months later and recently miscarried again at 12 weeks.

I completely understand how you're feeling, it still hurts every failed month even though you already have kids. It's been a soul crushing year of pain and disappointment for me but all I can do is keep hoping that I'll get there in the end. It's all you can do too, it's very likely that you will get a BFP soon. If you get to a year with no luck then see your GP about having some tests.

I really hope it happens for you soon.

QueenofmyPrinces · 08/02/2018 13:18

For my first two pregnancies I fell pregnant on the first cycle.

For the third pregnancy it took 10 cycles.

LookingAtTheStars89 · 08/02/2018 13:21

I'm trying ttc #4 - first four pregnancies (mmc during 1st attempt for #4) all happened straight away but it's been five months since and I'm still ttc. Sometimes it just takes time x

iniquity · 08/02/2018 14:28

I'm also ttc no 3 cycle 5. I've never conceived straight away though so that makes it easier. It's just a question of patience really. I'm due on today.. I'm in denial, I think I will just stick a pad on and try and forget about it.

MammieBear · 08/02/2018 14:43

It can drive you crazy reading all the signs and symptoms usually too early, the best thing to do is try to relax and let it happen in its own time, if you stress your partner will stress and that's not a good recipe for baby making, I'm sure you will be successful but remember no two pregnancies are the same.

Ep83 · 25/04/2020 23:11

Sunshine201415 I am only just joining MumsNet... I was Googling a question which obviously brought me to your post. Can I ask how things are, did you have any luck? I also feel bad you got a bit told off by some.... no two situations are the same and I really hope you have what you were hoping for xx

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