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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

How much convincing is normal before.......

9 replies

sportyspice · 29/07/2004 20:11

it could be perceived as forcing dh into having another baby. I keep talking about another and feel like i am constantly having to make the idea sound appealing to get him to want what i want, is this level of persuasion normal or am i forcing him to make a decision he doesn't want to? Is there such a thing as a broody man as i could never imagine the day that he says "another baby would be a nice idea"? I wish for his sake that i didn't want another but i do and i can't stop thinking about it and am beginning to feel annoyed that he isn't as keen especially when it is me that does all the nights, baths, tantrums etc Did anyone else have to beg their dh for another and if so how did you cope with knowing that that was the case?

OP posts:

emmatmg · 29/07/2004 20:35

It took me around 15-16 months to convince Dh what a good idea it was to have No.3.

Believe me, I had an answer for EVERY argument he had against the idea. I was obsessed about it and thought about having another baby every waking moment.

He changed his mind on Boxing day 2002. I brought the subject up and again I had an answer for everything he could throw in. There was a few seconds silence and he said " What are you thinking about?" and at that moment tears appeared in my eyes (I honestly had no idea they were on the way) I simply said " You know what I'm thinking about, I always think about it"

Ds3 was conceived on 3 days later!!!!

I know EXACTLY how you feel and even now with DS3 10 months old I'm still amazed that I changed his mind as he was so against the idea.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Original poster

sportyspice · 29/07/2004 20:39

Did it ever cross your mind that you'd forced him into it? I would hate to be held to blame if something went wrong or if i complained that i was tired to be told "you were the one who wanted this baby" . I'm sure he wouldn't be like that but their just concerns i have. Also, did you have more worries about the baby's health 3rd time round as if you were pushing your luck?

OP posts:

emmatmg · 29/07/2004 20:49

Well, I certainly didn't force him to impregnate me. He chose too by not withdrawing at the crucial moment.

I have had the " well you wanted this baby" line when i've been screaming at him because I'm soooo tired and sick of rushing around everywhere but I've just replied " yes I know I did but you can still f*cking help!!!"

I have to admit it didn't cross my mind about 'pushing my luck' which does actually surpirse me as we had a bad pregnacy with DS2 with lots of tests etc. And if we ever went on to have another which is HIGHLY unlikely(My heart will always want more chilred but my head screams "you must me mad woman!!" I don't think I'd worry then either.

You could never be BLAMED if something went wrong with the pregnancy, we have no control over the outcome but can only hope things are ok.

emmatmg · 29/07/2004 20:51

chilred?????

I mean Children.

Original poster

sportyspice · 29/07/2004 20:58

Did chuckle about the 'forcing' bit!!!

OP posts:

Bozza · 29/07/2004 22:21

My DH took about 6 months of full-on persuasion after several months of gentle suggestion to have no2. He finally agreed while somewhat under the influence, DD was conceived 2 days later ( too drunk Saturday, too hungover Sunday, conceived Monday) and is now 10 weeks old and yes I have had the line about it being me wanting her thrown at me during an argument. But my DH is very much like that during arguments and will often say things he doesn't mean.

runtus · 30/07/2004 10:00

Not quite the same becuase this will be our 1st but I had to plant the seed in my dh's head a year before he finally decided he was ready to ttc. I just left him with it and in the end he decided for himself.

Scared witless now mind

malinki · 30/07/2004 11:52

I dropped hints in the pub, then DH said, I've got something to tell you, I thought 1 million things, but it was dh said I want a baby, I just said "Impossible" lol , he was abit said for 5 minutes, until he relised what he had said, then he said "No, I want you to have a baby", that was 9 years ago and sub fertility treatment (didn't know I had anything wrong with me at the time). DD is 4 in 2 weeks time. Again, this time we are ttc #2, and it was DH that kept dropping hints like "Can you imaging what another baby would do to us", and hey presto, we are back having sub fertility and I told DH that if I ever had to go through all the treatment ever again I would never have another, its amazing how you can change your mind, I did almost overnight.

RushingAround · 30/07/2004 12:48

Sportyspice, I've been through this in the past couple of years - ds and dd are now 6 and 3, and I've always 'had in mind' that I'd like a 3rd. However, DH is dead against it, and it became a very big issue with us. I actually thought No 3 Was on the way for a couple of weeks (must have been wishful thinking) and DH was terribly upset at the thought, and it made me realise too, did I Really want a 3rd if it was going to bring so much trouble? Well, as it was, No 3 wasn't there at all.
I'm accepting the fact now that I probably won't have a No 3, and altho' a part of me yearns for it still, a part of me also accepts the fact that I love the way my ds and dd are such a little team together, and that 2 is easier than 3 in some ways - certainly financially as many people with 3 have warned me!
So, my point is, you may be lucky and get what you want from your dh, or you may have to face the fact at some point of not doing so. And altho' the latter is hard, it's not unbearable. It's not as if I don't have enough to keep me busy with the 2 children I do have!

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