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Conception

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Original poster

Holding off for fiancé to come back!

47 replies

TwoEEs · 28/01/2018 22:59

Hi everyone. I’ve been lurking for a while but decided to post! My fiancé and I have been ttc for a while now. He is away on a course and I am two days late. He wants me to wait and test when he’s back so we can find out together. I think this is a good idea and I wouldn’t like to find out before him but I am really struggling. How do I distract myself from testing! I feel the longer I’m late the more worked up I’m getting. I’m worried the longer I wait that if AF does show up I’ll be even more crushed!
Help!

OP posts:
Merrz · 29/01/2018 08:41

When is your fiance back? I think you should wait for him and at least the longer you leave it your test will be more reliable but i know what you're saying if you wait and it turns out to be BFN it will be more difficult.

QueenofmyPrinces · 29/01/2018 08:45

You’ve got great control!!

I’ve been pregnant three times and each time I tested without my husband even knowing abouyt it and then telling him about the positive results afterwards.

I would have felt very under pressure if we’d tested together and I wouldn’t have liked the planned excited build up to testing to then come crashing down if it was a negative.

If I was you I would testing now!!

If you get a positive just pretend you haven’t done it and then act very surprised then you test together Grin

Original poster
TwoEEs · 29/01/2018 12:57

Thanks for the replies.
He isn’t back until late Friday and I am working Saturday so would be Sunday before I can test! Just feels so long!
I get what you mean being under pressure. However I wouldn’t be able to act surprised. I wouldn’t even be able not tell him over the phone Blush I have no self control!
Still no sign of AF today!

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sirlee66 · 29/01/2018 13:11

Ahhhmmaaagoooddd! So exciting! Please let us know when you find out!! Best of luck!!!

Lostoldusername · 29/01/2018 13:34

Can you video call? I know it's not quite the same but maybe you can do it then video call him so you can find out together?

Original poster
TwoEEs · 29/01/2018 14:54

Thanks sirlee66 I’m super nervous as I’m feeling excited and don’t want to get my hopes up. Feeling a bit lightheaded and sick today but think that could be AF on her way!
Lostoldusername I suggested that but think he just really wants to be here. And I think if it’s a BFP I would regret that he wasn’t. However if it’s a BFN I want to know now so I can stop getting my hopes up Confused

OP posts:
BaronessBomburst · 29/01/2018 15:01

Oh for goodness sake, just test! Why does he have to be there? You'll be the one affected by the pregnancy, not him. Asking you to wait and leaving you anxious is not very fair.

Merrz · 29/01/2018 15:10

If you wait until Sunday and still no af you will have convinced yourself you're pregnant and it will be such a disappointment then if it's a bfn.

sirlee66 · 29/01/2018 15:22

Aw no I think it's lovely that he wants to be a part of it!!! I've got everything crossed for you!!!!

lightcola · 29/01/2018 15:25

I did a test I secret. Then did another with him. To this day he doesn’t know. Mean? Maybe, but it’s my body and I needed to know.

notapizzaeater · 29/01/2018 16:16

Can't you FaceTime him with the stick and 'see' the result together ?

Original poster
TwoEEs · 29/01/2018 18:14

@BaronessBomburst because it’s his baby too. It’s his BFP too!! Why would I not want him to be there. A BFP would absolutely affect him too. What a strange thing to say. Life changing for both of us! Surely it would be nice to try and hold off and share it.

@merrz I know I agree but I also think we would both be disappointed that we weren’t together for BFP

@sirlee66 thank you so much. It’s an anxious wait but it’s so exciting too!

@lightcola I think that’s okay if you really needed to know, I can’t hold my water so would never be able to keep it secret Blush

@notapizzaeater I thought that was a good idea too but it’s not really the same. And he’s in a shared accomadation with not much privacy.

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ClaryFray · 29/01/2018 19:23

I couldn't wait, but my DP is a fusser and the minute that he gets the hint of me being sad he becomes my shadow and I prefer to be left alone to wallow.

Good luck :) lots of baby dust!

BaronessBomburst · 29/01/2018 19:25

Of course it's going to be his baby too! And I quite understand you wanting him to be there to share the moment, but if it's stressing you out, is it fair for him to ask you to wait? That was my point.
And, believe you me, children will change your life far, far more than it will change his. Honestly. It's not unkindly meant. It's just how biology and society are set up.
I hope you get your positive. Flowers

Kentnurse2015 · 29/01/2018 19:27

Meh. I would test and then do another one with him when he got back. No big deal

Original poster
TwoEEs · 29/01/2018 20:20

@BaronessBomburst you are right and I’m sorry if I was a bit quick, I didn’t mean for my reply to sound off. Thank you for your reply I think I just got myself worked up!

@ClaryFray thanks for the baby dust Grin

@Kentnurse thanks good idea.
Thanks everyone I have spoken to my other half and we are going to hold off until he is home. I know whether BFP or BFN I’ll just want a cuddle from him

OP posts:
BaronessBomburst · 29/01/2018 21:38

No need to apologise. I've been in a similar position, where I couldn't test for a week, and it really messes with your head.
And even worse, when I did POAS, with DH there, it came back negative even though I knew I was pregnant! By then he thought I was mad, I thought I was mad, and so he went and got me a huge glass of wine putting me in a worse tizzy, because I kept insisting that the test was wrong.
I finally tested positive the next day, but I'd known myself for nearly two weeks.

unicorncow · 29/01/2018 22:14

Good luck for when you test! Hope you get your BFP! You must have the patience of a saint 😂👍🏼

Original poster
TwoEEs · 30/01/2018 23:21

@BaronessBomBurst
Thank you. That must have been really tough. Glad you got your BFP. I think because we are trying to conceive baby number one he’s just a bit excited which is nice because he previously wasn’t sure if he wanted to have kids (years ago).

@Unicorncow love your username! Thanks I am ususallt very impatient but trying. I’ve come to stay with the soon to be in-laws for a couple of days so that helps. He’s back middle of the night on Friday and I’m working sat so think we will have to wait until Sunday. As I’d be a mess at work either way. 🙈

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unicorncow · 30/01/2018 23:55

Thanks, I stole part of my daughters username from another site 😂 aw you must be so excited!! I can't wait for an update! I'm pretty certain you'll get your BFP! I bet your fiancé can't wait to get home now!! Good luck!

Original poster
TwoEEs · 31/01/2018 20:35

Haha made me chuckle @unicorncow
Thank you so much. Yeah he defo can’t especially because he’s having a bit of a shit time there anywhere. I had an nexplanon removed nearly a year ago and although they have been regular ish since Oct. my Oct AF was my first for 80 days so trying to stay calm! I know I’ll be so upset if I’m not. Also worried I’m starting to symptom spot 🙈 been weeing loads today. Sorry tmi and have a strange feeling in my stomach, kinda feels like AF coming but not quite right for that if that makes any sense 😂

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BifsWif · 31/01/2018 20:38

I really hope you get your positive!

You have much more self control than me, I’d have cracked by now.

unicorncow · 31/01/2018 21:55

Has you AF been regular since since October?

Original poster
TwoEEs · 01/02/2018 10:43

Thank you @Bifswif

@Unicorncow I thought they had been as always arrived when the app I use to chart them said they would although looking back at this it’s sometimes 21-30 days. They are definately much more regular than they were when my implant first came out. But now I’m thinking that although the app says I’m late maybe I’m not as late as a i thought!? This is so stressful. I totally had it in my head I was going to be or at least high chance. Now I feel like I’ve been a bit presumptions and stupid.

OP posts:
unicorncow · 01/02/2018 15:58

How long have you to wait until your fiancé is back now? I still think you are in with a very good chance of being pregnant!