Chemical pregnancy on my birthday feel so alone 😭😭😭

[Ameliaxx]

Woke up today to find im having a chemical pregnancy, happy birthday to me 😭😭😭 could this get any worse im going back on contraception monday cant take this heartache anymore its killing me not helping my mental health conditions at all 💔💔💔😭😭😭

Happy Birthday. Be kind to yourself. I’m sorry this is happening, especially today.

I just dont know how to carry on anymore ive just came through a 4 month long breakdown with multiple suicide attempts finally got myself together and back feeling well and now this has happened

So sorry you're going through this. Sounds like you have got through a lot. You will survive this too. Be kind to yourself

Dont think i can anymore 😭 but thanks for your reply 💔😭

Happy birthday, OP! I'm so sorry for your loss. Is there anyone who can support you in RL?
It sounds like you're going through a really rough time at the moment. I really hope you have support.

No i havent told anyone

I know you've said you haven't told anyone. Is here anyone you feel you could speak to?

If not, could you speak to your GP?

I know things seem really rough at the moment, OP, but I really hope things improve for you.

No i dont want to put anyone through this

Gp is no use

Dont know why i didnt die months ago if this is all my life is

It's really horrible I know. And it makes it worse on your birthday. If you don't want to tell someone in your rl would ringing the Samaritans be an option. They can listen, and it sounds like you need someone to talk to.

What can you do to get through the next couple of hours? Watch a film, have a bath, read a book? I know it sounds trite but sometimes you just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I'm so sorry it happened x

You will get through this

Keep going. I’m so sorry.

I dont want to speak to anyone in real life i cant put anyone else through this no one knows anything. I dont even want samaritans help i just dont think i want to be here anymore

So sorry to read this, that must be horrible 😔

Do you have a DP that you can speak to about the chemical at least?

There are so many people here who will support you through this part, but you really do need to speak to someone in RL about suicidal thoughts and tendencies. Call Samaritans on 116 123 or follow the advice on www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/#.WmwqYWKnzYU - get yourself to A&E or call 111 even.

Your life matters, things can always get better and you can get through it xx

Happy birthday Amelia.
I'm so sorry, please keep talking on here if it makes you feel better.

This was my only chance of ever being a mom i was told there was only one in a million chance of me ever getting pregnant because i got put on medication that has made me basically infertile (they didnt tell me it can do this) so now ive lost my only chance there will never be another chance for me now

@Ameliaxx if you got pregnant this time then there is a chance you can get pregnant again - doctors often tell people that they can't have babies and are often proved wrong, I know so many people who have had IVF or adopted because they were told that and then went on to have a child naturally, despite what the doctors said xx

Fertility isnt the only organ/system in my body that the medication has ruined. This was a one off miracle thats ended like this. I clearly didnt deserve to ever be a mom and this is some kind of karma punishment for something major i must have done in the past

Anyway everyones got better things to do than listen to me being stupid thanks everyone but this is it now 😭💔

Didn't want to read and run handhold, keep talking even if it's only on here it will make such a difference. So sorry your going through this x

I'm sorry OP. Do you have a DP? Any friends? If you are thinking about ending it please please call 999.

You're not being stupid. You're rightly really upset. This isn't a punishment, or karma. It really shitty biology!

I'm happy to listen but I would urge you to follow the advice that Foreverretro posted. I think you need immediate help x

Your life matters.
^This. Amelia, your life matters. I'm so sorry that you're going through this, a loss is one of the worst things to go through but it does get better. Your life matters, please remember this.

Happy Birthday

@Ameliaxx People are always around on here if you need to talk, sometimes the "better thing to do" is to talk to someone who is in need of comfort/help like you are.

Have a look at Elefriends (www.elefriends.org.uk/) there is always someone online to talk to there, from my experience. People who have been through similar experiences or who have specialist knowledge in how to help people

I hope that you have some friends or a partner in your RL - it's easy to think to yourself that helping you isn't worth anyone's time, when in reality people will almost definitely care about you more than you realise and depression/suicidal thoughts is often not something you have to battle alone. It is not easy to ask for help, but in the long term it is so worth it.

I’m so sorry Amelia. I have been through this too. This is not a punishment. If this has happened once it could happen again but either way things will get better.

You’re not stupid, you are deserving of love and there are people out there who want to help you.

Please keep posting if that helps and please please try to speak to someone in real life.

Happy Birthday