Retrain or ttc?

[CurlyRover]

I'm 27 and seriously considering retraining - or at least trying to get on the course. As a couple we can't afford for me to apply for September 2018 entry so it would have to be for 2019 entry. The course itself is funded in the sense the tuition fees are paid for but minimal expense etc are paid so we'd be surviving on one wage. Which is fine but we wouldn't like to bring a DC into the equation 1) when studying and 2) on such a limited budget.

The course is three years so realistically speaking we're looking at 4.5/ 5 years before ttc. So I would be 31/32 at the earliest.

DP is older than me and in his mid thirties. I'm wondering whether to try and retrain and put off having DC or to start ttc after our wedding early next year and retrain once they're in nursery / school. But then that would mean not starting to retrain for a good few years, especially as we think we want more than one DC.

Does anyone have experience or thoughts on taking either path and how did it pan out? I don't know what to do.

Hi Hun, I personally went go for ttc first but I think it largely depends on the profession that you want to retrain in. I've had my all my children so far whilst studying and have managed perfectly well to meet their needs whilst gaining 2 degrees and from there maintaining a professional job for the past 6 years. Yes at times it's been tough and we've had to juggle but it is manageable if you're committed. My children have always come first though so it has meant long night shifts to get assignments in when they were in bed so as not to take any attention away from them. When I finished my degrees and got my job my husband started his. 5 years on he's loving doing a part time masters whilst working full-time and still makes sure he has quality time with the children. I'm a teacher so not sure how that aspect compares to your profession. My job is very busy and stressful particularly as I work within sen however I have the holidays which helps claw back some time and childcare costs! I would loved to have pursued a career in medicine but the shift work and placements would not have been possible for me with a family. You need to think carefully about how you would manage the logistics of a child with the demands of your course in particular childcare costs and availability. Everything else is workable. If you decide to wait on the other hand think about how you might feel if you struggled to conceive at a later date though dependent upon your age now I'm sure it wouldn't be too much of a problem x

Thanks mamabear for your perspective.

I'm looking at retraining into the NHS which at the moment fund degrees if I do it in Wales. I think part of my worry is they'll stop funding them so if i went for ttc first would i miss my chance at retraining. It's definitely a tough decision.

I'd train now, to be honest. Strike while the iron is hot. Retraining, years down the road with kids and all that comes with them, will be so much harder than people will admit. And your DH may not be in a position to be as hands-on and supportive with the kids as you'd need him to be in circumstances where you're retraining with 3 kids underfoot. You're still young and time is on your side.

Tricky. On balance, I would retrain first.

As others have said, early enough still to do both comfortably and doing this with small children will be more challenging (and you will probably at least consider having a second, I imagine, once you have the first?) so it may end up being 3-5 years before you do it rather than 1-2? Even if you think you'd both be up for the challenge, are energetic and young enough/have family support to do it all etc, there might be something in the fact that you'd be able to devote more time and energy to the course without little ones and that will set you up better for the early stages of your career, enabling you to do well and progress faster? Not sure if it's the same in your field but would be relevant in some.

The point about funding potentially being pulled is also a pertinent one.

I'd also flag that there's potentially a chance you won't take up the training at all once the little one(s) arrive, even if still available, because life gets in the way and so on. The emotional impact of that won't be good for you or the family in the long run. That said, also consider it the other way - how important is it to have your own children and if this course somehow ends up wasting precious time would that have a serious emotional impact?

I changed careers before TTC and it helped us enormously to go for some tests to make sure everything was in working order for both of us before making the decision.

We definitely want more than one.

Where/ how did you get the tests done stargazy? I think if we knew everything would be fine it'd make the decision a lot easier.