TTC quickly after MC, a list - anything to add?

[StargazyDrifter]

After a much-wanted and hard-won pregnancy ended in a MMC over Christmas, DH and I are keen to try again promptly. We are ok emotionally, and if there is any truth at all to the '3 month fertility window' post MC we'd like to try it out, especially given how long it took us to conceive the first time.

Having given all this a lot of thought today, would appreciate your thoughts on whether anything is missing from this list below:

1. Do a PG test in the next 10 days to make sure it's negative and hormones are back down again, to cut risk of a false positive later.

1. Both take TTC vitamins, eat well (protein, veggies, fruit), lots of water and drink little alcohol.

1. Assuming bleeding stops, start trying 2 weeks after ERPC (checked w doc). Try to have sex every other day. Record days of TTC to help w dating if relevant.

1. Try and get acupuncture (some apparently swear by it TTC). Maybe some herbal teas.

1. Remember to be kind to ourselves, breathe, spend some time outdoors. 🌳

I have PCOS and not had much luck with OPKs and charting so far.

All thoughts, tips and tricks (however anecdotal!) hugely appreciated. Thank you in advance and, if you are reading and in a similar position - 🤞

I'm in a similar position,first month after miscarriage - I had an ERPC on 13th December.

I'd say just try to relax a bit and don't put too much pressure on yourself. As soon as the bleeding stopped we started trying every other day and by the time ovulation happened 4 weeks after the ERPC we were exhausted from the sex and only managed it once or twice in the window. So perhaps try not to tire yourself out too much .

I'm now about 5dpo and really hoping we managed it. Thanks

Is the window that you're supposed to be more fertile in he three months following a miscarriage?

I read your post and it struck a real chord...firstly can I just say I am so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and take it easy, your mind and body have already been through a lot.

I became pregnant with my DS 4 weeks after my late miscarriage 2 years ago (with no period in between)....As scared as we were, DH and I were adamant we wanted to try again asap. I think testing to make sure HCG levels are back down is sensible I didn't do this and was very paranoid when I got my BFP about false positives, but a trip to the docs and some blood tests soon reassured me it was in fact a new pregnancy! Don't get me wrong I spent most of my pregnancy suffering with anxiety because of the previous Mc, but it did get easier as the weeks went on and it was so worth it as we now have our beautiful DS. Not a replacement for our angel baby, but I like to think she had something to do with it and was watching over me.

Good luck xx

Hi Stargazy,

Really sorry to hear of your loss. We were trying for about 14 months before I fell pregnant only to have to have a termination for medical reasons. I was dreading it taking so long again but boom within a couple of months, I was pregnant again, this time all healthy thank goodness. So I do think there might be some truth in being more fertile after a miscarriage / birth! The only other tips I can think of are:

1. Don’t wear yourself out with every other day if it’s too much of a chore. Might be better if you can to look for signs as to when you are actually ovulating. I don’t have pcos but hugely irregular cycles (from 30 - 70 days) and I found keeping my eye out for EWCM and then doing ovulation tests morning and night during that time, helped me pin point ovulation. I got the cheap ovulation tests from body care!! The month I feel pregnant this time we had sex every other day once I had got EWCM and then when I had a positive ovulation test we did that eve, next morning, next eve and following morning!

1. I am not sure if this helped, but the month I fell we also used pre-seed, laid down with my legs in the air for 20 mins and when I knew I was ovulating soon I put a soft cup in after having sex and kept it in for 12 hours - I was getting pretty desperate by the point and willing to try anything!!

1. I made OH take usually man vits plus 1000mg of vit C as I read it was good for the spermies!

1. Make sure you have things to look forward to each month in the event that you don’t fall pregnant e.g going/doing something nice that you perhaps couldn’t do if you were pregnant. Ttc can be overwhelming and it’s good to have other things to think about!

I hope that helps and you’ll be pregnant again soon with a healthy baby xxx

I'm also in your situation and have pcos. It sucks. I take inofolic, it helped me get my first BFP.

Oh wow, thank you for all the excellent responses!

@BergamotMouse and @peachesarenom, here's hoping for some good news all round very soon! Sorry we are all in this sad muddle for the moment. 🌈

@SleepyBadger, your post really did lift my spirits. Thank you for sharing. 😊

And I have ordered everything @peachesarenom and @Bonnieb168 suggest. Hadn't heard of Inofolic but seems very sensible. I will also give OPKs another go with ECWM, that seems a good way to narrow down. Thank you! Mumsnet to the rescue once again. 🤞

@BergamotMouse, sorry forgot to answer about TTC within 3 months post MC. As far as I can make out, it's more of an old wives' tale that the 3 months after MC are more fertile. Friends who know have certainly supplied plenty of anecdotal evidence to that effect, as has the Internet. I have sometimes wondered in recent weeks if it's the sort of thing people say to gently get you to look forward. I won't lie, it's been a little bit heartening. However there now seems to also be some research on this, e.g. link below. I would still prioritise mental wellbeing over any of this stuff but, if you feel able to, it's a factor to consider.

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/miscarriage-pregnancy-fertility-conceive-timing-months-quickly-more-likely-successful-study-a7446706.html%3famp

Hi there, I'm so sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is horrible.

Re. the more fertile after a miscarriage thing, people said it to me after my first mc and I searched and searched to find any scientific evidence and failed. It may be that no-one's studied it (or they may have done since - I've not looked). The studies you linked to were about the likely success of a pregnancy depending on when it occurs, not the chances of getting pregnant.

I say this not to put you off trying quickly (I did after both mcs), but to say please don't set your heart on it happening quickly in the so called fertile window. Yes, there's plenty of people it does happen for, but my guess is most of them are pretty fertile to start with. Clearly I hope it happens quickly for you, but experience tells me that when the whole world says 'oh you're more fertile after a mc' and then you're still ttc many months later it makes you feel worse than if they'd never said it, because it plants a tiny seed of hope that it'll happen that way for you. You may be far more rational about the whole thing than I was (entirely possible given I was utterly irrational!), but in taking care of yourself do try and keep your expectations realistic (and if you surprise yourself by being pregnant next month then great!)

I hope this comes across as supportive not anything else - it's meant to be. Good luck - I hope you don't have to wait long for a successful pregnancy.

Thank you, StickChild for writing this in a thoughtful and supportive way. Really appreciate it, and I do definitely need to manage my expectations. As someone else suggested above, I will put things into the diary to do at the end of cycles in case it doesn't happen quickly. But that isn't the same as managing that tiny bit of hope lurking around, like a little Gremlin, wanting to be fed after midnight.

Hi Hunni, please let me start my sharing my sympathies for your loss. It's such a horrible rollercoaster to be on. I do miscarried in December (27th) so have been googling everything till the cows come home and had a very helpful conversation with my GP who confirmed that it was perfectly safe for us to carry on trying so long as I'd stopped bleeding and my hcg had returned to normal which they did pretty quickly. He said the only reason he advises couples who otherwise have no other issues and whose miscarriages are complete to wait a month is simply as it makes a new pregnancy easier to date.

All your points are totally valid from what I've read but if I could add just two points. The first is to just be careful which vitamins and herbal teas you drink. I was taking folic acid, vit d and evening primrose previously....I've always taken evening primrose oil to help me regulate my unpredictable periods so thought nothing of continuing when I got my bfp but since my miscarriage I've read that it shouldn't be taken after ovulation. Whether it was a contributing factor I'll never know (I also had a uti around the time so wondering whether that's to blame also) but I know I won't risk it again after what I've read. Actually taking pregnancy vitamins now as I know they'd be totally safe should we be lucky enough to conceive again. I've also heard really mixed reviews re some herbal teas including green tea..some say it helps some say it can hinder implantation etc so I'm taking the approach of everything in moderation.

Secondly, are your tracking your ovulation? I only ask as I've been using opks on mine and I ovulated 2 days later than I usually do this month (taking cd1 as first day of miscarriage bleeding). Whether this is because there was still hcg in my system or because I've stopped the primrose oil or just random I don't know but I might have missed it if I didn't track.

On a final note I know I'm not even taking my own advise here as it's so hard but try not to stress!

Good luck x

Thank you @mamabear05.

Completely hear you on 'contributing factors', it's staggering how the brain tries to rationalise even though we know the cause is most likely 'bad luck'. I've caught myself doing the same numerous times.

I've never had much luck with OPKs but have been exploring some apps today.

No advice, but just thought I'd share my experience. We were trying for almost 2 years and eventually fell pregnant after three rounds of Clomid (severe PCOS.) Tragically my daughter was stillborn at 26 weeks.

Anyway I thought the whole being more fertile thing after was a load of bollocks - how could it fix the fact I've never had periods!

Fast forward three months to the day I gave birth to my daughter and I was feeling sick. Feeling like a prat I did a test - turns out I'm 7 weeks pregnant!! That was a week ago and I still can't believe it, but proves it really can happen. I also tried for two years unsuccessfully with an ex so I was about as unfertile as they come!

I hope you find the same!

Oh my! That's fantastic! Thanks for popping by, I am particularly reassured on the PCOS front as also have this. Hope all goes super smoothly and worry free.

Nothing to add, just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world xx

Thank you!