Work Stress and TTC

[SLR1906]

Ive been reading online a few NHS studies that have given me contradicting messages on stress and TTC.

I am normally an anxious person and worry alot but work is adding to that. Ive had one MC in July 2016 and stopped trying then resumed last Oct.

Can anyone share some stories with me? I know stress affects my period but have you been stressed and still conceived? Im concerned that while im stressed it wont happen but that stresses me out more, its like a hamster wheel that i cant get off!!

TIA

Same here been very stressed and not sure if that has helped at all been ttc 14 months so watching this for other replies with eager anticipation x

@Owlpatrol thanks for joining, it reassuring to hear other peoples stories. I just keep thinking that i wont get pregnant if i keep stressing but the longer its taking the more stressed im getting! Vicious cycle! I have nobody to talk to as i dont know anybody who has been in the same boat as me - ive been off the pill since May 2016 and only caught once which ended in MC which destroyed my emotions ☹️ i mean i can talk to my fiancee hes very positive and its lovely but womens emotions are so different to mens and I dont think he understands my desperation

I'm a teacher, so almost inhuman stress is a given. Today I had a five minute lunch (it's not unusual to have to skip lunch), had a disclosure of suicidal thoughts which then required many meetings... etc etc.

Ttc 20 months. I think stress and depression are driving me insane. Literally. I no longer feel like me. Ttc stress doesn't help. Plus a rocky family life coupled with natural disasters affecting my family.... I'm impressed I'm not a whimpering mess 100% of the time (instead of the 80% of the time I am)...

It can't help. Studies suggest stress has no effect in ivf success rates.

I’m totally new to mumsnet but Im the same with stresses and ttc! Generally stresses of life and also work make it difficult to keep a positive mind set. We had our first MC November 2017 so I completely know the feeling of destroyed emotions . We’re now feeling ready to ttc again but as you saying feeling anxious can sometimes take hold.. I think those feelings of desperation are normal, it’s not nessesarily “desperation” it’s a genuine want for a baby to care for and to call your own Men are positive and understanding but talking to others in the same sittuation will defiantly spread positivity! sending lots of baby dust to all x

Hello ladies @physicskate @Hope18

Its so nice to be able to relate. Thank you for sharing. I have always had anxiety issues growing up and i think ttc is bringing the worst of it out in me.

I really admire positivity and strength in people i just dont know how to be like that! I work in accountancy so december and january are the busiest months of the year and its making me super stressed and tired!

Let me know how you get on, fx for bfps for us all!

@Hope18 i am new to mumsnet too! I dont post much i just love to read everyones messages its so relatable!

Sorry to hear about you loss its truly heartbreaking i understand. To be honest i still think about it now 18 months on but its much less painful cause ive had councelling which i would highly recommend if your really struggling. I didnt know how to deal with it but councelling definately helped me.

Yeah yesterday at work was such a rollercoaster I'm fine though most of the time but it's a chicken an egg situation. I need my job for mat leave pay so can't leave but been ttc for so long I can't get another job yet. I do actually like my job most of the time but it only takes one or two things so stress me out lately. Fx and baby dust to all xx

hi I have an extremely stressful job, 60-70 hrs a week, night call outs etc. when we decided to ttc I was concerned that the process would be very slow due to stress and long hours. however it did not seem to make any difference at all and I got pregnant pretty quickly. this is not the case for everybody however I just wanted to reassure you that exceptionally stressful jobs and long hours will not always have a bearing. on top of work stress I was so worried that my job would mean I would struggle to conceive so I actually added more stress by worrying about it. hope this helps? sorry I don't feel I've put it very clearly!

also I might add the job is doing is running our family business so never get to 'switch off as such and frequently worked 7 day weeks through ttc and pregnancy. part of it I think is what you are used to - what is normal for you

I was working very long hours and was so stressed that my hair fell out, I also had frequent panic attacks. Despite this I got pregnant 4 times. I had one mc but the other 3 were successful pregnancies.
Babies are conceived during war and the worst kind of situations for women and always have been, I don't believe that stress determines whether you conceive or not.

@delphinidewdrop @FaFoutis thank you that's really reassuring xx

@delphinidewdrop @FaFoutis thank you for sharing xx

OP not read the full thread but wanted to share. I had a mmc at 12 weeks, mc at 7 weeks and then a healthy pregnancy when a close family member passed away. That was the most stressful time of all. I was 6 weeks when said member died. I was sure this pregnancy would result in mc but I have been blessed with a beautiful ds!

@SLR1906 it’s nice to read others messages and support I agree. It’s comforting to see how so many women go through MC even thought at the time I felt so alone..
I can imagine accountancy can be very stressful! I work with babies under 12months in my job role which when ttc can be a little hard going. I think that when we had our MC it was one of the hardest things to do was to return to work as “normal” but I guess I just threw myself back in and forced myself to cope. I still think about it everyday and i still question myself if it was my fault or if there’s something wrong with me? Although at the time in the EPU unit they said it was nothing I had done but reading on here makes me realise that MC is something that happens to so many people !
Just wondering if you follow any fertility apps ? I follow one called Ovia and I find it quite helpful

I'm another one who had the hair fall out, panic/anxiety attacks. For me, I gave it up and changed to a 4 day week in a less stressful role. But that wasn't just because I was worried for effects on pregnancy, I was worried for my own wellbeing - had a terrible boss as well and one day found self thinking about driving into a wall so I could be in hospital and not go to work.

Never went through with it but more because boss once said to me (when I had been signed off with trigeminal neuralgia caused by stress and off my head on strong painkillers incl tramadol) that even if I was in a hospital bed, as long as I wasn't dead he expected me to work and I could do so from my phone.

Took me another 4 and a bit years to leave but I did in the end

@Hope18 it is super comforting as i felt so depressed, i cried for two weeks straight pretty much it was dreadful.

My job is stressful but more so during January with the tax return deadline. I couldnt imagine how hard it would be to return to work and have to see babies everywhere it would break me i think.

I know the stats say 90% of couples will concieve within a year but i totally know how you feel, i always think theres something wrong with me!

I use an ovulation calculator online where it tracks everything for me, i made an account so i can save it all. Ive never used an app though, would you recommend? Ive tried OPKs and found it really hard. Im trying to take the advice of my mum and try not to get fixated on it all and i think OPKs made it more of an obsession for me. Im already anxious enough i think!! Ha.

Do you take any supplements?

@coastalchick thats terrible to read what you've been through and actually a story that played with my emotions too, i used to have a job like that, it was honestly the worst few years of my life! I used to picture myself injuring myself just so i didnt have to go there for the day! How awful.

But thank you for sharing because even though its terrible, its reassuring to know that there is hope for stressheads like me!

@SLR1906 yes I keep reading that stats say it’s less likley for MC to occur second time but again reading others stories I find it’s also something that’s unfortuneatly common too which not going to lie scares me even more but I kind of have the attitude now you’ve got to be in it to win it and if we live thinking “what if” every time we’re only loosing out ourselves on something which we really want so bad !

I’ve not used OPK’s but I find I like having my app called Ovia on my phone as You log daily changes to body during cycle etc and it helps with dates being In all one place for me ! I must say I’d recommend it
In terms of supplements I take folic acid and that’s about it ? What about you? I don’t know if there’s anything else you’d reccomend?

@Hope18 it really is just shite isnt it! I hate the lack of knowing. But thats just life isnt it! I think i spend alot of energy thinking and arguing with myself in my head, i was an only child so i am often resolving things alone. I have concluded that i am crazy and obsessively broody!!

Ah i see, my calculator sounds very similar, tracks CM and all that! Havent done any temping though, have you?

And yeah me too, its just ive been reading the other threads on here and see loads of other things people take. The other women in my life have never had MC or had problems getting pregnant so its pretty lonely for me, i find comfort in reading others stories on here it keeps me sane!

I took half an aspirin a day during the potential implantation period.
I also used actual egg white to help the sperm get to the egg. When I did both of those things I got pregnant very quickly each time - within a month or two. Even when my hair was falling out through stress.

I understand the injuring yourself thing, I felt like that about my job too.

Good luck.

@SLR1906
Sorry for the major delay in replying so it’s been fertile window and another stressful time !! Works taken over like as per and I don’t know the abbreviation terms but I’m
Now this week according to my Ovia app out of fertile window and due for AF next Thursday so I guess this is what people call the 2ww??
Heads all over the place.. felt a lot of pms symptoms and other weird things have happened such as very vivid dreams, aches in legs and arms and changes in size of nipples this week (sorry tmi) ?!! No idea what that’s all about
By you saying temping I’m guessing you mean BBT? And if so I haven’t taken that..
I guess I’m lucky to have my mum to speak to about MC as she had one before me, that’s been my only person to relate to. Currently my best friend of forever is due her DS in March, she’s wishing her pregnancy away and for him to be here now and here I am wishing to feel pregnant !!
How are you getting on?