Gut feeling/anxiety help!

[Molly33]

For years and years I've used the withdrawal method and not once been caught out ( all in relationships) now married current partner of 12 years and trying to get pregnant the last two months it's been no luck the doctors confirmed everything's fine. But I keep worrying all the tests I've done in the past that have said negative my gut says it will never be positive because It will never happen. Or is it because I really want a family now that I'm anxious? It is only two months of trying the doctor said maybe I'm just very lucky my partner had a child along time ago.

If you use the withdrawal method properly and are in tune with your body, it has a reasonable rate of success. Lots and lots of women find it takes them several cycles to conceive and that is quite normal.

Good luck.

I hope so! the doctor did do tests on me as I have a neurological problem so they just wanted to do some tests. But they said I'm completely fine. It's only be two months of trying I know but I just can't ever imagine seeing a positive..

It takes an average couple 6-12 months to conceive. Totally normal. As a long term ttc-er myself (22 months), I am trying very hard not to be offended by your post...

You've had max 2 eggs drop. There is a max 20% chance of pregnancy each cycle. You need to chill out.

Totally agree with PhysicsKate I’ve been ttc for 14 months so far without a single bfp and it’s a rough ride. You do need to just take a step back and relax a bit. You have a 20-25% of conceiving every month, it’s not as easy as have sex, get pregnant like we’re taught at school (if only!) Unfortunately no doctor will be interested until you have been trying for at least a year as that’s how long it can take for a healthy couple to get pregnant. Stressing over it honestly won’t help. Just take each cycle as it comes. We all want the process to work our way. We decide we will have a baby so it’ll happen when we want but we aren’t in control at all. Once you make peace with that, it’s easier not to feel so anxious. If you don’t conceive after trying for a year then speak to your GP and they will refer you for tests but for now, it’s such early days. Chill out and don’t panic or overthink it too much if it’s not happening as quickly as you’d hope. Good luck!

Thanks sorry not trying to offend anyone at all. I suppose what with my neurological problem and the medication and seeing everyone around me getting pregnant first time and I was unprotected for so long, I'm over thinking it now I've started myself and thinking the worst all the time.. Sorry again didn't mean to cause any offense just new to all this

Whilst I'm not offended you do need to find some way to calming down as you will drive yourself insane. DH and I used pull out methods for 3 years and never a scare. It was just down to use knowing our bodies. We have been TTC actively and full on for 13 months now and still not a hint of a BFP! Has initial fertility tests done for both me and DH and all came back. It can honestly take ages to concieve. The difficult is more people talk about getting pregnant and announcing pregnancies than people talk about the difficulties they are having so you feel like everyone falls pregnant at the drop of a hat. Out of 6 of my close girl friends one 1 has fallen pregnant before 6 months of trying. Everyone else a year or more! It's just not talked about as much. Please try to calm as best you can. I know it's very difficult! Wishing you lots of luck x

@mrsjones can i just jump into this thread and say thank you for what you said about it taking 6-12months for most of your friends... I've been trying since the summer and have been really down about it the last few days and wondering if something is wrong so it is really good to hear reassurance that it has taken some people longer than a month or two! X

I will thank you I will just see what happens and maybe the doctor is right I've been lucky all these years especially if tests are ok. I will calm down maybe it's anxieties rather than a gut feeling of its never going to happen thanks again.

@surreygirl1987 you're welcome. Loads of people take longer. Average is 12 months!!! It's the month by my nth uncertainty that's so hard. I've learnt the hard way that stressing about it won't help lol! Month 13 and finally being at to make a bit of piece with it all

Same as you Mrsjones I’m on month 14 and honestly I don’t care anymore lol I realised it’s not as easy as you’re made to believe and stressing about it doesn’t make anything any easier. Instead I’ve signed up for a university degree. I’m annoyed at myself for wasting so much time worrying about things I have zero control over. It’s in the hands of the fertility specialists now and in the meantime, I’m just going to get on with life. It’s really the only way! Lots of luck to you, I hope you’re not waiting much longer for your bfp :)

Out of a very unscientific pool of my closest friends:

Me: 8 months DD1, 1 month DD2
Friend 1: 5 months DS1
Friend 2: 1 month but miscarried, 2months DS1, 2 months DS2
Friend 3: 13 months DD1, 2 months DD2
Friend 4: 4 months DS1, 2months DS2
Friend 5: 1 month DS, 9 months DD

All similar ages (circa 28-32 at times of conception) and similar lifestyles. Seemingly no rhyme or reason for the ones who fell quickly and the ones that didn’t. It’s very normal for it to take a while.

When I got to 7 months TTC with DD1 and went and chatted to my sympathetic female GP. She reassured me and referred me for some blood tests and told me to go for them if I wasn’t pregnant by the time I’d been trying a year.... but I was and most people are. It’s a longer road for some than others.

Try and stay calm and relax. Good luck!

@Felloutofbed2wice thanks for that little bit of 'scientific' research too 😂 seriously - it is SO reassuring to know that this is normal... not many of my friends have ever been pg as many are still single, but the one eith a baby got pg very quickly she says, and the othet two are pg and I have no idea how ling they took and don't feel comfortable asking! All I seem to see on mumsnet is either those who fall within a month or two, or those who have been trying for years with no success and going through loads of testing so it's lovely to hear about the middle ground! 😀