How long to wait to try again. Getting older!

[Twinklelittlestar1]

I had my first baby this year and I turn 38 in February. So torn between the fear of not trying again soon to beat my biological clock versus not getting quality time with my son. I see 40 as a cliff edge so told myself I must try again by 39 (he’d be 18 months then) but in an ideal world I wouldn’t need to race. Ugh. Any input? Can anyone relate?

Completely!!! Had a 7 year period of trying for a baby now have a 10 week old and I'm 39 - 40 in July next year. We want another baby but it means trying again straight away really to beat the 40 cliff edge

I had my first baby when I was 36. We started trying for #2 when I was 38. Fell pregnant just before 39th birthday, but that ended very badly. Fell pregnant again just after my 40th birthday, ending in early miscarriage. We are still ttc now.

I really wish we hadn't waited before trying again

Wishing you the best of luck x

If it's important to you don't wait. You can get your amh tested very easily to get an idea of your ovarian reserve.

I wouldn't wait personally. I got pregnant at 38 in July with my first. Ended in MMC end August. Have had 3 cycles of trying again and nothing. On 4th cycle now (just DTD a few mins ago!) and I'm 39 and 3 months. Sadly, for most, the older you get, the worse the egg quality.

Some people have no choice but to wait, for whatever reason, but if you don't need to wait, I wouldn't.

Good luck whatever you decide. x

Personally I wanted to try again ASAP so I could have a second period of maternity leave with my DS1 as well as the new baby.

I haven't regretted having them close together for one second, but I am occasionally nostalgic for the times it was just me & DS1.

I agree with pp, don't wait if you don't have to! Try not to think of it as 'losing' quality time with your son. Siblings close in age can be wonderful playmates.
You don't get that same 'quality time' with the second anyway when there's no other baby around, it will always be one of two.
People don't love their second baby less because of it; you'll be fine! Good luck and congratulations on your first

I was 35 when I had my first and felt a similar time pressure. We started trying a couple of months after DD turned 1 after some careful calculations figuring out when would be the earliest we could afford to conceive. We were lucky to conceive quickly and DS arrived 10 days before DD turns 2. He's only 9 days old ATM but so far so good. I'm taking a year off on maternity leave so although DD has to share me it means she gets an extra year of me not working while she's still tiny.
I'd try as soon as is feasible.

I agonised for ages about when to ttc #2 having had DS at 33. Having originally thought that we simply wouldn’t use contraception and would start ttc properly when DS was around 6 months old, we ended up waiting until he turned one, partly because of my own misplaced loyalty to my job.

Fast forward 13 months, and despite 15 cycles of active ttc, we’re still not pregnant. In fact, I suspect that we’ll end up needing IVF to even have a shot at pregnancy this time around.

This post is obviously coloured by my own experience but having conceived fairly quickly 3 times in the 11 months it took us to get pregnant with DS, I never thought we’d end up with secondary infertility. If it can happen to us, it can happen to anyone.

I don’t want to scare you, but if you want another, I would go for it sooner rather than later, as you never know how long it might take.

That having been said, I doubt 2 under 18 months would have been for me, so think about what you really couldn’t cope with gap wise and work from there. It’s so hard to plan these things to perfection, and the chances are, whatever gap you end up with, you’ll probably think it’s perfect.