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Grief stricken after miscarriage

6 replies

Curlylou1 · 29/12/2017 09:07

Feeling terrible. I had a miscarriage on the 27th. It was an unplanned pregnancy and my partner of 6 months reacted badly and then came round after 6 weeks. He rejected me and the baby. In the last week or so we finally got our heads together and it felt like it was going to be ok. Although we hadn't got back together

I feel like I have been through such a strange process. I lost my relationship, but was having a child and now I don't have either. It's a double loss.

I am totally grief stricken about the baby, but also alone and disappointed by my ex,

He took me to the hospital and stayed then took me back to my mums. Yesterday I woke up and really wanted to see him and drove over. He was lovely, but I would have thought he should have offered or asked what I needed and be bending over backwards to help me.

I did get a text asking if he could take me for dinner on the 10th Jan . Probs hoping I will be back to my happy self by then FFS

He just doesn't get it. I had forgiven him for the lack of enthusiasm in the beginning. I know he isn't going to feel what I do , but he is avoiding all emotional conversations and seems uncomfortable. Perhaps guilt as he didn't make it easy for me

I feel overcome with emotion like when my dad died it comes in waves and I am blubbing all the time. I am grieving the baby I lost and am also devastated about my ex. My mum doesn't have any grandkids and she is also v upset

Feel so empty and left with nothing. How long will these feelings last for?

OP posts:
HoneyCake86 · 29/12/2017 09:43

Theres no timeline for grief im afraid hun. Youll get days where you think youre finally over it all then itll creep up again. But it WILL get easier, your mind just needs to process it and adapt to the new situation. Plus all your hormones will be everywhere for a while after too til it settles down. Be kind to yourself and rest up when you can. Do something to mark your loss, plant a tree get a special piece of jewellery or something positive to remember it by. Because no matter how far you were its still a loss of a life. Allow yourself to grieve it.

In regards to your man, if it was me i couldnt take him back after that. I was treated in a similar way with my ex years ago when i had a chemical pregnancy and it was hell, then he had the nerve to ask me to stay friends while he played the field. I took control of that and threw him out of my life. Whatever you do, do it with your future and wellbeing in mind. Its not fair on you to be going through this grief on your own, if you wanna be having kids, its not right that its by someone who runs for the hills when things dont go to plan, you deserve someone who will stand by you and support you.

Curlylou1 · 29/12/2017 10:43

Thanks Honeycake. I needed to hear that I have just bombed him out. I need genuine love and support..,

OP posts:
flumpybear · 29/12/2017 10:54

Yes I agree it takes time, and emotions run high as hormones are crazy, but you'll get your family, perhaps when you're more stable with your boyfriend or with another person if he doesn't work out. He's probably quite scared too and upset

KalaLaka · 29/12/2017 15:06

I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

Please don't get back with him; he's shown his true colours.

Curlylou1 · 29/12/2017 18:22

Kalalaka I know I need kind and supportive people right now. Why allow anything else

OP posts:
KalaLaka · 29/12/2017 22:54

Good on you Flowers
I had a mc a few months ago. It got easier after a few weeks, I hope it gets easier for you soon.

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