Kids asking questions after a mc

[sophherts]

So my 6 yr old niece (who we told) & her 7 yr old friend (who we didn't) have both asked recently 'when's the baby due & are you having a boy/girl?' although we had a mc in September.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Who's responsibility do you think it is to tell kids that aren't yours about a mc? Or do you think we told our niece too early (we were 6 weeks, v excited as it was our 1st pg)? Any suggestions on how to talk to kids about miscarriages?

I think in an ideal situation i'd tell her mum to tell her if possible. However if someone asked me directly I would tell her that unfortunately the baby died and answer any questions following on from that. But I've always been matter of fact with my little girl (4) although we've only come across insects and animals so far and talked about other people who have died.

Sorry for your loss.

@purpleme12 I agree, I want to be v honest with my future kids but I wasn't sure how her mum (my SIL) would've felt about the honesty! I also assumed that she'd told my niece but clearly not

I said to them that the baby had gone because it wasn't right and couldn't have been born

That sounds a very good explanation to me. Sorry for your loss

I think it's better not to share pregnancy news with children until after the 3 month scan as it is a hard thing for them to understand if it doesn't work out.

Sorry for your loss.

My mum had two miscarriages, one when I was 5 and the other when I was 7. I knew about both, I was told the baby was too poorly to grow and so died but mummy was ok. I'm glad, as it normalised miscarriage for me, which I think is important.

The second miscarriage was a molar pregnancy and mum needed a d&c, again I knew it was a molar pregnancy (wasn't really a baby, just lots of cells that had grown and mummy needed an operation to take it away but was then all better).

Certainly helped me growing up and TTC.