Completely Stressed TTC#1

[bubblybrit]

I haven’t been ttc very long - only 6 weeks or so. However I am 33 years of age and feel as if I am getting pressure from everyone! My parents can’t wait to be grandparents and all my friends have kids so keep asking me when I will be having children. Think my parents think I’ve left it too late in the day in order to conceive naturally/quickly! I haven’t told them that I am ttc but feel this extra pressure even although we haven’t been trying very long at all!! DH and I have very busy jobs but we are still dtd every other day and I am using opk.....do you all think I stand a fair chance of falling pregnant quickly given my age? Gotten myself in a frenzy by reading various articles where egg quality depletes rapidly after age 30!

I would just breathe........take a minute and maybe stop googling.

33 is a good age to TTC and as you know 6 weeks is just getting started. Keep doing what your doing i.e. DTD regularly and you won't go far wrong. Normal healthy couples can take 6-12 months to conceive.

Don't let parents pressure you, it may be easier said that done. But it's just not worth it the stress, they'll be grandparents eventually so they can sit tight until it happens. Stressing/pressure certainly won't make it happen any quicker so it's wasted energy.

Good luck. Enjoy this time with DH/DP rather than getting worked up over family demands x

Thank you sunshinesaz86....I know that 6 weeks is nothing and my DH and I are prepared for 6-12 months before we hopefully see that BFP! It’s everyone else that is applying pressure unknowingly....usually really close to my mum and friends but don’t want to let them know that we are ttc (in case more pressure) but also feel like I’m keeping a secret from them! Ah well....hopefully it will be a good secret when I share that BFP!

Not sure if this is what you want to hear but I would confined in your mum that your are TTC and that you are worried about it. I am Close to my mum and found keeping it a secret hard and even more stressful as I felt like I was deceiving her. Once I told her and that I was worried about it she was really supportive and stoped all those stupid hints etc. You could be in this for the long haul so anyway you can relieve stress is important.

Regarding your parents saying you have left it too late...I don't think you're quite there yet! There is no way of telling how quickly you will get a BFP. My sister is two years older than you and has an incredibly high powered and stressful job and she got her BFP literally first month of trying. I am three years younger than you and not as stressful job and I'm on cycle 12 soon to be 13 without a sniff of a BFP. Theres no rhyme or reason.

People will tell you to try and relax but that's like asking someone not to think about a pink elephant! First thing that pops into your head right?! Rather than 'relax' my advice would be 'be prepared'. If you know you want to actively TTC use opks and apps to get to know your cycle. DTD as much as you can without it becoming robotic and try not to early test...you will but it's a waste of money and a little bit heartbreaking and most importantly contrary to what we were repeatedly told at school...it can take more than one time to get pregnant so prepare for it to be a long slog! That way if you catch earlier it will be a nice surprise!

Wishing you lots of luck!

Family/friends can go a little crazy when the think babies are imminent! And people think they can say what they like without realising how they can make you feel in the meantime.

It is your secret and your business currently other people don't need to know. you could just flippantly say it's not on the cards this year to try to get them to back off a bit. And it'll be a bigger surprise when you do conceive. 😬😊

You have not left it too late. I was so stressed about this too as I'm 34. So we decided to start trying even with a big holiday on the horizon and our wedding day, assuming it would take 6-12 months. Then BANG we get pregnant the very first month with twins!!

And loads of my friends are a similar age with babies 0-3. So not too late at all.

Really appreciate your message Mrsjones17. I know I have no ‘right’ to be getting stressed this early into the ttc process....especially when there are others like you who have been trying for considerably longer....I really hope that you get your BFP soon....

My DH isn’t keen on letting anyone know that we are ttc so feel kinda stuck in the middle! Think he is overly cautious as two of his mates partners have had to go though ivf for their little bundles.

As you say it is a journey and not a race so just need to prepare mentally for that. DH and I have pretty successful careers and things usually move pretty fast paced...just need to bear in mind that the ttc journey isn’t always like that!

Good luck to you and I’ll keep my fingers crossed for your BFP!

That’s very true sunshinesaz86 - it would be their first grandchild as well so emotions are all over the place!

So pleased to hear your success story ClareB83 - most things online only print the doom and gloom in relation to ttc after age 30! What a lovely surprise for you and your DH! Did you go anything in particular during that first cycle which you think helped you conceive pretty quickly?

Nothing special, we just had a lot of sex on my high and peak fertility days. We were engagement ring shopping those days, so pretty loved up and relaxed.

I’m using clearblue digital opk - only seeing flashing smiley at the moment (high fertility) so dtd every other day. Once solid smiley (peak fertility) then plan to dtd that day and then next - do you think that’s enough as my DH is working 16 hour days at the mo!

Yes that's plenty. Sperm lasts for days so every other day is fine.

I conceived dc1 a few months after my 32nd birthday after a few months of trying and then dc2 when I was 36. It’s definitely not too late and, although you feel under some pressure, try and relax and not let it overtake your life (easier said than done I know).

My DH will be thankful that you agree that we are dtd plenty - don’t think he would have the energy for any more!

I will try and relax Abetes! Just finding it difficult as everyone wants that BFP like yesterday once they decide they want a child! Or is it just me? Lol 🙂 my DH and I would ideally like 2DC.....I know that I am jumping the gun as not even pg with the first....but good to hear that you had dc2 aged 36 as think that will be similar to me since I’ll be 34 in April x

Hey Britt!
It’s crazy because I came on here for the first time for something advice today and you’ve basically written the same thing I was going to! I’m 32, been trying for
6 weeks and also have pressure from all angles. When people say relax it is easier said than done. I feel exactly the same as you Hun. It doesn’t help that my sister has announced she is pregnant when she wasn’t even trying. I know our time will come we just can’t give up hope. Xx

Hey Leaceypie

Good to hear from you.....glad I’m not alone!! Was worried about posting for the first time as I know many people have been trying way longer than me!

It’s so frustrating that everyone - and I mean everyone that I encounter lately - seems to feel that it’s ok to make comments/drop hints!

I’m just worried that I’ve left it a little late but feel much better after hearing from others earlier today 🙂

I’m sure that you will be following closely behind your sister!! Will keep my fingers crossed for you!!

I know that’s not the problem everyone pressuring. Me and my hubby said we are just going to tell everyone we are going to stop for a bit due to buying a house etc but keep trying without telling people so they stop asking every time. It might take the pressure off a bit. Aw my sister in law is the same age as you and she is pregnant. A lot of people our age get pregnant I think we just have to try and stop pressuring ourselves which is easier said than done x

Yes I think you are right. Shouldn’t really be putting pressure on ourselves after 6 weeks! Really should be enjoying the time with our DH/DP while we can!

I’ve used so many excuses to throw people off - redecorating my house, learning to drive....I’m completely out but yours will work a treat! Xx

Yeh exactly it’s still the beginning of our journeys..male
The most of just bring us two and having fun while we can. We will be mummies eventually it’s just hard sometimes when you see other people getting pregnant around you especially those who aren’t trying to x

Yes I know what you mean! I’m not the most patient of people either so want it like yesterday! Lol 🙂

My cycles are 36 days so need to wait even longer for each attempt! Xx

Everyone is different but chances are you'll be fine. It took me 5 months to conceive DD when I was aged 34 and just 2 months for DS aged 36.

Thanks oysterbabe - just need to try and be patient a little longer! Xx