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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TO TTC OR NOT TTC, THAT IS THE QUESTION!

27 replies

lissielou · 17/04/2007 22:30

you all know whats been going on (if you dont, i will fill you in.

6y ttc ds, think i had 3 early mcs then. in the last 18m ive had 4 confirmed mc, 2 suspected and 1 ep. my last mc was last month, and all the signs are there that im coming up to fertile time again, seeingf specialist to find out what goes wrong, but....

do i start ttc again this month. when i last mc'd i was adamant that wed wait til june, now im not so sure. help me please

OP posts:
Original poster
lissielou · 17/04/2007 22:36

anyone?

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linjasmom · 17/04/2007 22:36

I cannot tell you what to do of course (don't know your story yet and wouldn't be able to anyway as I feel I could not "tell" you what to do iyswim) but wanted to say I am here, listening and wishing you well. Have my fingers crossed and hope you will feel what's right or that some smart person will come here soon with better advice. Good luck!

linjasmom · 17/04/2007 22:37

sorry, couldn't write faster....

Original poster
lissielou · 17/04/2007 22:39

lol, thank you. just so unsure of the right thing to do. my body's screaming do it! my heads going, wait a few months

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Original poster
lissielou · 17/04/2007 22:42

plus wanted to keep it bumped

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linjasmom · 17/04/2007 22:46

did you have a d/c? sorry if you don't want to answer that. It's just my gp said that "after a good sweeping" it's very likely to happen (as in everything's nice and clean and ready, go for it!). Just advised to wait one or two months afterwards so cervix would close firmly. Does that make sense - if it applies to you?

Original poster
lissielou · 18/04/2007 09:15

no i didnt, it was more of a painful chemical pg tbh.

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saralou100 · 18/04/2007 09:19

lissie, i'm so sorry!

which ones louder the heart or the head??

what about a pro v con list??

saralou100 · 18/04/2007 09:21

when is your appointment with specialist??

Original poster
lissielou · 18/04/2007 09:22

4th june. during the 1st few days after it happened i was sure that a rest would be the best thing. now im entering my fertile time im v aware that i only have 1 tube left now so itll take even longer!

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saralou100 · 18/04/2007 09:30

hmmm thats a toughy, thats about 6weeks away?

personally i'd go for it.... but, i've not walked in your shoes, i have had 2 misc, one was a chemical pg too. both times i jumped straight back on board, but i didn't have children then and certainly not suffered loss like you have!

but then would specialist be able to investigate if you were pg at app?

so in short i don't know!

saralou100 · 18/04/2007 09:31

lol, not helpfull am i...

still it's keeping this bumped till someone more helpfull comes along!!

Original poster
lissielou · 18/04/2007 09:34

lol thanks, when ido get pg again (coz that doesnt seem to be a prob) ill be really reallly closely monitored from the start anyway, but i dont really want to wait but i may just being a slave to my hormones iykwim

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lulumama · 18/04/2007 09:37

as the voice of rational thought, which is easy for me as i am not you......i would delay TTC until you;ve had the tests

at best you might get pregnant and stay pregnant, whihc would be great

on the balance of probabilities, based on everything that happened lately, you might get pregnant, and lose the baby again..whihc will undoubtedly make you feel worse..or not get pregnant, which will make you worry more about your fertility

give your body a break, rest , relax, just enjoy making love with DH, not TTC...and let your body recuperate....your body needs some time to recover from the ectopic and the surger y

but at the end of the day, only you can decide....

saralou100 · 18/04/2007 09:38

hormones are wonderful! i lkike to use them as an excuse for everything!!

i think you really want to, but maybe a bit scared??

Original poster
lissielou · 18/04/2007 09:51

i am v scared about ttc again tbh.

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saralou100 · 18/04/2007 10:02

don't blame you, i really don't!

could you cope again if it all went wrong? lulumama speaks wise words !

(i'll be keeping bodyparts crossed that it doesn't! of course)

i feel you should never give up trying to get what you want, but thats easy for me to say! you do hear those stories of people trying for years lots of problems along the way, then one day it just works as it should!

Original poster
lissielou · 18/04/2007 10:14

i think its extra hard coz i only have to look at dh and im pg, and i know im pg very early on.

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wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 18/04/2007 10:22

I agree with lulumama, I would wait until you?ve had the tests and give not only your body, but your mind a break as well.

Ttc can be an all-consuming experience, and it can take over your life to the exclusion of everything else. I would take some time out from that and concentrate on the positive things you have in your life, your dh, your ds, maybe just do things together without having the sword of ttc hanging over your head. And then when you go to the consultant you can have the tests with a fresh mind and hopefully start ttc again when you get the results if that?s what you want. But if you keep ttc now there is potential for another miscarriage/even another ectopic (didn?t you say in another thread that there were problems with your remaining tube?), and IMO this could just make things worse.

ash6605 · 18/04/2007 10:26

is it possible you could just take a relaxed attitude to contraception for now until june?ie dont use contraception but not actively trying,counting every single fertile hour(i know what its like and it takes over your whole life)just see what happens then its not so heartbreaking if it doesn't happen this month. thats probably a lot easier said than done mind you,just a suggestion?

saralou100 · 18/04/2007 10:28

ok, i giggled at that... your dh is one potent man!!

i did see your last bfp announcement you do find out very early!

how many weeks were you with your last misc?

so it's no problem getting pregnant, just staying that way.

and your going to see a specialist to find out why this is

you'll need to take into account that after that first appointment their will probably be tests, again with a waiting time of their own, so if you waited how long would you be prepared to wait?

do you go to any councelling?

Original poster
lissielou · 18/04/2007 10:35

well ive had most of the tests now, the appt in june is to get the results. my remaining tube is covered in adhesions so in my head i know that waiting will be the best thing. i also have to have an HSG next month so if i get pg again i wont be able to have that.

tbh if it were someone else posting this id be adamant that they should wait! the risks are v high and june isnt that far away. plus we go on holiday in a month so i dont want anything to go wrong for that.

but i want another baby sooo badly.

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saralou100 · 18/04/2007 10:50

you know the answer to your own question really don't you.

sensible and safe! the next time you get pg, wouldn't you rather know the facts than going in blindly!

but thats not what your heart is saying. your heart is bursting with grief and wants to fix it the best way you know how, to have a baby!

Original poster
lissielou · 18/04/2007 11:00

thats it exactly. i know that nothings going to change whats happened but theres this craving that stronger than anything ive ever known

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saralou100 · 18/04/2007 11:11

do you go to any councelling?

my lovely lady was so invaluable to me... she's a early pregnancy nurse councellor and in a previous life a madwife.

i used to cry like a baby every time i went and sat in her office

i told her things and feelings i have never told anyone ese, not even my dp

and every time she helped me make sense of what i'd lost

and when i was pg and refusing to believe it she helped me even more

i'm so sorry your dealing with this, it's such an unfair process