Ttc for a few months, feeling disheartened

[Meeseeks94]

So me and my partner have been ttc for a few months now. I was on the pill this year after having implant out at the end of last year, and properly stopped taking the pill this July, as we felt we were definitely ready.

I’m still not pregnant and as much as my periods are regular now (didn’t have them while on implant and most of the time that I took the pill), the cycle length has differed by a few days. I’m meant to be ovulating this week according to a couple of apps I have on my phone that I’ve been using to track my cycle. However I’ve taken ovulation tests all week and am getting nothing.
On top of all this, my brother’s partner fell pregnant a month or two ago, and as much as I’m happy for them I’m feeling really crappy about the whole thing, and am more upset each month that i get my period or a bfn. I know I shouldn’t stress but it’s mostly all I think about. We have our names ready, talk about it a lot and I’m just feeling so disheartened.

Just wondering if anyone has any tips for ttc or just any advice to share. Many thanks xxxx

I know you don't want to hear this, but you are still very early in the process. It took us ten months to conceive DS1.

It's hard when you are trying to conceive your first as you start to wonder if there's something wrong or if you will ever be able to get pregnant. And it's really difficult to be patient.

I would recommend charting your BBT and cervical mucus. Your mucus gives a good idea of when you're building up to ovulate and BBT shows that you have definitely ovulated. Not every one ovulates on the 'average' day 14 every month so you may be starting your OPK testing a bit early or late.

You are early in your journey. Believe me, I know how horrible and worrying it can be but it's normal to take up to 12 months. Also, your cycles may be quite regular but it can take a while to settle down once coming off the pill.

Yess I feel so bad for being impatient so early on, but it’s always on my mind.
It really is difficult, and yes I have started worrying about it. I guess I just have to chill out and take it month by month. Thank you for your reply

Forgot to say, OPKs can be difficult to use properly (which is why I don't both with them) so try not to rely solely on them.

Thank you BandhaAid, will look into it. Thank you so much for your reply too it means a lot xx

No problem. Have you noticed changes in your cervical mucus at all? Egg white cervical mucus is considered the most fertile and watery is also fertile.

If in doubt, have sex every other day all month long and then you have all bases covered.

It’s probably so difficult to handle because when you decided to start ttc, it’s when you were ready for a baby, not ready for the agonising waiting and the ups and downs.

It probably won’t take you much longer. Perhaps you brother had been ttc for awhile too. People generally don’t talk about how long it took them to fall pregnant.

Your time will come. The journey will get worse unless you find better ways of coping —I really must listen to my own advice.—

I don’t really know much about bbt but I will do some research and start to track both. Yess I’ve been told that by one of my friends haha! Thank you so much xx

@physicskate That's good advice and it's so true - we start TTC when we want a baby. Therefore, a long wait is not handled well. My friend is pregnant with dc2 and it's due on her first child's birthday. She said "that wasn't planned very well but we weren't expecting to conceive as quickly as we did!" And I don't say anything but I don't quite believe her if she's anything like me! Haha.

@physicskate they hadn’t been trying, which kind of makes it all the more upsetting.
But I totally understand you, and I hope you do take your own advice, because it is good and so true! I wish the best of luck to you ❤️

You’re both so right. For some reason I really just had it in my head “right I’m ready let’s have a baby” but ofc it doesn’t work like that. Hmm hope the time does come soon xx

*for all of us who are trying ❤️❤️

That happened right after my first early miscarriage... my SIL announced she’d had ‘an accident’. Now THAT was a kick in the crotch!! Now she has a 6 month old...

Patience is a virtue that we all need to develop... my second birthday while ttc is coming up.

I’m so sorry @physicskate, it really is so difficult, I really hope your time comes soon, so much love and will cross my fingers and toes for you!! ❤️