This makes me sound mad

[Shiela2017]

I lost a baby due to an ectopic a year ago. I kept my digital pregnacy test in my bedside table as it was the only physical thing I had to cherish for the lost baby. I have a look at it every now and again when I'mthinking of her. Anyway I just looked at it again today and the 'pregnant' has gone from the screen and now its blank. I know this is completely stupid and silly but i'm so sad. I feel like shes really gone now and I need to let go

Sending hugs. I had this happen to me too. Only mine were gone in a few weeks after my loss. The blank screen doesn’t mean you can stop thinking about your loss. It happened, it hurts. I’d love to say maybe take this as a sign to move forward but I don’t think that ever really happens when something so sad happens. Are you still TTC?

I had a mmc at 10 weeks in February. It still hurts, and I’m still not pregnant but I have to have hope. And I have to believe it’s still possible. Xxx

MouseLove I am very sorry to hear about what happened to you - it is completely shit. 🌺 It's so hard isn't. I still can't bring myself to throw the test away even now its blank. Yes we have just started TTC again, if I concieve this month it will be exactly a year xxx I hope you have success soon 🌺

I still have my frers in my drawer from my MC. Dont really know what to do with them. Doesn't feel right to throw them away.

Like PP, my CB digital went blank after a few weeks.

It doesn't make you mad at all. Hope it doesn't take you too long to conceive again xxx

Oh hun :( I don’t have my actual positive tests but I took a photo of them at the time and I have them on my phone and look at them now and again even 2.5 years on. It’s not mad at all. Sending lots of hugs your way

I was tidying out some paperwork the other day and found the very early scan photos from a pregnancy that went on to be a MMC. I didn't know what to do with them. It felt wrong to throw them away but I didn't really want to see them any more. I ended up tucking them away so they are safe but I won't come across them again for ages.

Hi Shiela
I don't think you are mad at all. I still look at a scan picture from my MMC last month. Only yesterday, I tucked it away in a drawer safe. It's a part of my life that although traumatic it reminds me that a baby too precious for life was created xx

I don't think you're mad at all. I haven't kept any of the tests from my miscarried pregnancies, but I do have entire file on my phone of pics of the positive tests called 'POAS madness'. My early scan pics and reports are also all safely filed away with the scan pics from my one successful pregnancy. They are part of my life story now, and having hard evidence that those babies also existed, if only for a short time, gives me some comfort.

I lost twins earlier this year. I put all leaflets, tests and scan pics into a box. Me and dh also wrote a letter to the babies saying how sad we were it didn't work out and that we loved them very much. It really did provide closure to a horrible situation. I couldn't bare stumbling upon the reminders so I wanted it all in one place. Then if I did want to look, it was because I wanted to.

Hugs OP. I had my test from my ectopic (18 months ago) for ages. I did get rid of it. DH also got rid of the scan photos showing my sadly empty uterus. Sometimes I wish I'd kept them, as I'm still not pregnant, but they made him so sad. We bought a Christmas decoration last year to hang on the tree to remember the baby, as that's when I would have been due. There is no crazy, it's just grief.

Not mad at all OP- sorry for your loss.

I also kept the pregnancy test from when I was last pregnant in spring last year- it was one of the cheapie tests (end wiped of course & put back into little sachet it came in!).

The other day I was rummaging through the bathroom cabinet, I took it out and looked at it- not for long though as it just made me feel too sad.

Almost 18 months on from MMC at dating scan and not managed another positive test since then...looking at the PT made me feel like I was looking into another world or dimension where life seemed so easy, carefree and happy.

Hugs to you.

If it makes you feel better I have a little box I put everything in. Including my maternity notes, sympathy cards and pregnancy diary. I don’t have a scan pic from my first scan when we saw a heartbeat but I know it exists somewhere in the world. X

Gosh thank you for your replys. I've shed a little tear for all of you, i am sorry for your losses. Although sad it's a comfort to know i'm not alone 🌺🌸🌺