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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

avoiding pregnant friends

12 replies

katierocket · 20/07/2004 13:10

supposed to be going out tonight with 4 friends; 3 are pregnant and the other one is breastfeeding. I do want to see them but there is a part of me that is considering not going, I just feel so jealous and the thought of discussing pregnancy all night

is that selfish?

OP posts:

Miriam2 · 20/07/2004 13:19

I feel for you katierocket, been in that situation myself. It's almost impossible for pregnant women not to talk about their pregnancies etc even if they're being ultra-sensitive- after all, at this moment, it's THE most important thing in their lives. Depends how good the friends are IMO. If they are old friends I think you should go, after all you will want to see them after the babies are born. But if it is more casual (colleagues, whatever) I'd be tempted to make an excuse if you're not feeling up to it tonight

malinki · 20/07/2004 13:19

KatieR, I think you will be ok. Most newish mums are sick of talking nappies and all that, and I know that for a fact, they want some adult conversation, out for a laugh, thats why alot of new mums go back to work after maternity leave, go on have a good time, you might be pleasantly suprised. {smile]

malinki · 20/07/2004 13:21

Sorry KatieR, I re-read your post, I agree with Miriam2, I forgot 3 are pregnant.

Original poster

katierocket · 20/07/2004 13:44

they are old friends and these are all second pregancies for them. I just don't want to be faced with more bumps, they seem to be everywhere I look!

OP posts:

Moomin · 20/07/2004 14:04

I'd bow out, if I were you. At the moment there are 3 of my friends and me who are desperate to conceive and one has just had a m/c so we all feel in the same boat at the moment but I know this would be difficult if one or more of us got pg. It's no relfection on your friendshsips, so don't feel guily. It's not permanent anyway and you can always pick up when either you're feeling more able to cope with all those bumps or when they've all dropped and are desperate for a night away from the nappies and milk! (or until you're pg yourself, fingers crossed!)

Moomin · 20/07/2004 14:04

sorry about typos

sponge · 20/07/2004 14:06

There's also the problem of looking like a lush as the only one drinking.
One at a time maybe but all at once does seem a bit OTT.
Develop a headache or stomach upset fast.

Tommy · 20/07/2004 14:14

Just to put a point from the other view.... my sister didn't speak to me the whole time I was pg with DS1 because she wasn't pregnant. It really really upset me. I'm sure if they're good friends and know you are ttc, (I hope) they will be sensitive towards you

webmum · 20/07/2004 15:26

I agree with Tommy, but at the same time, if you think it'll be too distressing for you, don't go, you're not being selfish at all

gothicmama · 20/07/2004 15:34

Iman (david Bowie's wife ) inspired me when ttc by sayingin Samolia(sp) if yu held ababy it was meant to help you concieve . It worked for me so embrace as many babies as possible and ask your friends to be sensitive to your feelings by talking about other things at least soem of teh evening

Original poster

katierocket · 20/07/2004 15:39

ah thanks. They are all 20+ so visably pregnant. At least I will feel slim I guess

OP posts:

kittyb · 21/07/2004 07:38

katieR I know how you feel. Took us ages to conceive ds1 and have been trying for ages for ~#2 with no luck. All my good friends now have second babies and sometimes I love being with them and sometimes I find it hard. My advice is to be kind to yourself. If you are feeling a bit low then dont go.

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