Thoughts on having 2nd baby - is there an ideal age gap?

[rachelvs]

How soon? DD will be 1 in Nov07 and I will be 34. I'm lucky in that I've given up work and not planning to go back so DH and I are considering trying again from end of this year and I'd be hopeful of having an autumn/winter baby again. Hopefully we'll fall pg again quickly (dd conceived 3wk after coming off the pill!) DD would then be 2-ish when No2 arrives. I don't really want to be too much older when having no2 but I worry that I'd be cheating dd out of her mummy time.
I have friends who have 16mth old and 3wk old boys (not planned) and though hard and not a decision they would have made they say they're secretly glad it's happened and that their family is now complete.
My own experience doesn't help much. I am 4yrs older than my 'full' sister but parents divorced and remarried so I have half siblings 12, 14 & 17 years younger than myself!
Would love some feedback from familes who have small-ish age gaps and advice abd tips for coping (or not!! )

16 months between mine and i find it perfect, they have been palying together all morning in the garden!

Also i honestly didnt find it hard work at all! im a very chilled person and both my kids are angels! well most of the time

I think about 3 years is a perfect age gap. There is 2.8 between my older sister and me and 7 years between my younger sister and me. My older sister and I were close enough in age when we were little to play together and be interested in similar things (give or take), we also fought like cat and dog but after she left home at 18 we became very close again and that´s never gone away. Now that we are where we are (29/32) the difference in age is negligible and she really is my best friend.

My younger sister always seemed so far behind, very much the baby and very much in a different phase of life to me. Now that she´s older this is changing everyday and we are becoming closer all the time. Same for her and our older sister, in fact they currently live together and pretty harmoniously by all account

I would ideally aim for 3 years between my kids but depending on the circumstances I know it might be more like 5 and really, it won´t matter because most siblings get on/ hate each other in equal measure throughout childhood irrespective of the age difference. If you are not going to be working and don´t have to worry about that aspect then go for it whenever you want! She will, in a way, lose Mummy time but she will gain sibling time!

2yrs 3 mths between my DC. I really don't think there is an ideal age gap. There are pros and cons all the way IMO. As for coping, remember those breathing exercises your mid wife taught you, to get through giving birth?.. Don't forget them.

2 years and one month between my two. of course the first few months after having dd were hectic, as ds did feel displaced and was demanding for my time. I didn't honestly spend as much time with dd as with ds, although for 2 days a week he did go to cm which gave me more time with the baby.

Now ds 1s nearly 4 and dd is 21 months. They keep each other company, fight occasionally but generally I am very pleased with the age gap.

Only have 1 myself (and at the mo staying that way!) but thought I could offer an observation...I teach in a primary school and notice that generally, siblings that have either a 1 year or 3+year gap tend to get on better. The ones with a 2 year gap, I mean, perhaps one in year 3, one in year 5, tend to be less, well, warm towards each other. Not always the case but just something I've noticed over the years.

I have a 15 month age gap and got pg while breastfeeding (sorry to disagree with aviatrix!!!) and love having them so close together. Go for it as soon as you feel ready.

12 month age gap here (also fell pg while bf). Very very hard but it's a delight to watch them together.

If you have them close, 18 months apart say, you can realistically expect them both to have an afternoon nap at the same time for at least 6 months. On the other hand if you leave it a bit longer the oldest is a bit more independent and undersatnds a bit more to help with nappy changing, fectching bottles etc. There is no perfect time, each way has adv and disads!!

Exactly 2 ys and 2 weeks between dd and ds, now 3.11 ys and 1.10 ys old. have to admit that the first year with both of them was hard, especially since I now think I had pnd. but it's getting better and easier day by day, it's brilliant watching them play together. they fight too, fair enough, but they would be doing that with any other age gap too. agree completely with maveta on gaining sibling time!

There is 2 years & 12 days between DD & DS!! It's worked brilliantly & would definitely recommend it - I am nearly 34 btw. HTH