I've been working in a male-dominated industry for nearly two decades now. Three years ago, I moved from a role (within the same company) where I got an 'outstanding' appraisal to my current role. I didn't quite realise at that point who the people I'd be working for are. Basically, they are people who want you to do everything perfect (and heaven help you if you don't), but if they had to do what you have to do, they make myriads of mistakes they suddenly care little about. The money is good – about 60k – but it seriously plays with my sanity now.
There was already one other woman with my current job title who moved sideways in the company to avoid this team (really!) and did so in tears. Unfortunately, I can't do the same thing as she's in a completely different location/country to me where there are more options. Surprise, surprise... now, they're complaining about me and my performance. They want me to constantly move it up a notch, learn more things, etc. – which is unsustainable, and if I don't, there may be a disciplinary thing in future. But the thing is I physically can't.
What they don't know is that I've gone through several rounds of unsuccessful IVF over the past two years. I've also had a cancer scare. I've been scheduling my 'holidays' (read: IVF treatment and cancer check-ups) around my workload. Everything came second after my work, when my actual health and wellbeing should have come first. Of course, you never tell anyone at work that.
A friend of mine told me that one of her colleagues in a similar industry actually had to give up her job to concentrate on IVF. I feel that if I'm as stressed as I am now, it will never work. I'm soon going to turn 39 and time is running out.
I really am thinking of resigning and DH supports my decision fully. He's pissed off that I put my health and our ability to have children at risk because of my work. But it does mean I lose a well-paid job and it will likely mean 'goodbye career' – it's difficult to get back into the saddle in this industry after you do have kids.
What annoys me is that my company is spending loads on creating women's clubs and events, etc. All to encourage more women to stay in work (because there are so few, we actually have less bathrooms for women than for men). And yet, they never think about WHY women may give up their jobs.