How does it make you feel. Honestly though. I know the preferred answer is “really happy for them” but deep down, how do you feel? And how do you cope with these feelings?
Last year, my partner’s brother’s girlfriend fell pregnant by accident. His brother told me that they very rarely have sex and the one time they had it in about 4 months, she got pregnant. Honestly, it was really difficult. All the scan pictures and excitement from everyone. They had no idea I’d had to terminate a much wanted pregnancy less than a year before that. My nephew is nearly 1 now and I love him so much but sometimes when I see him, it breaks my heart that I can’t seem to have a baby despite trying so hard. I cried myself to sleep every night for the first few weeks I found out she was expecting and I felt like a horrible person.
My younger sister is 23 and got pregnant accidentally earlier this year and had a medical termination as she didn’t want to keep it (she had a road trip to America booked and it would have interfered) She is now 23 weeks pregnant with her second accidental pregnancy of the year. I’m pissed off. I know you’re not supposed to say that because it makes you seem like a nasty jealous old witch. But it’s true. I’m over the moon for her and excited to have a niece. It’s the scan pictures and excited family members thing all over again. She knows about my unwanted termination, the rest of my family doesn’t. I’m just getting really tired of having to put on a brave face every time I’m around people. How is it fair that people get pregnant at the drop of a hat and there are people like us ladies on here that try absolutely everything and are unsuccessful every damn month.
So here I am, the most horrible person in the world, declaring that as happy as I am about your accidental pregnancies, it actually truly all makes me feel like shit.