DH's drinking

[hangryhippo]

DH & I have been TTC for a while now, but with no luck. We are both around 30, and I'm quite healthy. I've got the perfect BMI, I do regular moderate exercise, I don't drink and eat quite healthy.

DH on the other hand is overweight, doesn't have much time or energy to exercise, doesn't eat very healthily and drinks maybe a couple of beers a day (he works in a bar) and then has a binge drinking session with friends maybe once every couple of weeks.

He tried to have a month of no drinking last year but didn't manage.

I worry that his being unhealthy might be the reason we aren't conceiving, but I also want him to be more healthy anyway as I worry about what effect this will have long term on him. I have spoken to him about his weight before but understandably he is quite embarrassed about it. He runs his own business so doesn't get any days off, so he doesn't really have time to exercise or to get healthy meals. He just eats stuff the chef makes at the bar.

I don't know what to do. He still thinks we'll conceive eventually, but even if we do, he needs to think about his long term health. Any suggestions on what I can do?

How long have you been TTC?

About 9 months.

For TTC purposes, I would make sure he takes a decent conception vitamin and cuts down on caffeine and avoids hot baths. My DH did these things and his sperm count improved from average to excellent. The booze thing used to cause us loads of arguments but my experience is that ultimately it is very unlikely to be the make or break issue in ttc. Our ttc issues were completely unrelated to lifestyle (we're both very healthy and pretty much stopped drinking for ages with no impact).

I know it's just anecdote but the two most overweight people I know have just gotten pregnant straight away and they are both quite unhealthy, drink a lot and live on processed food. My lovely friend who is very obese had no trouble getting pregnant twice and her husband was an alcoholic at the time of her first. Whilst it can be high risk for the mother (and baby) to be overweight in pregnancy itself, it doesn't seem to stop people conceiving otherwise in my experience.

Longer term, I don't think there is anything you can do except tell him how you feel. He has to be the one to decide and make the changes to his diet and lifestyle - you can't do that for him.

Tiger thanks, that makes me feel a bit better about it.

I want him to be healthy for himself mainly, he is embarrassed about his body which is so sad. I really love him so much and I want him to feel good about himself again.

I would definitely suggest the conception vitamins. We had been trying to conceive for ages, my partner wasn't exactly the most healthiest person, he works shifts so found it difficult to exercise and also did like to drink. Anyway, we fell pregnant within the first month of him taking them.

Thanks, I actually didn't even know you got them for men! Will go to the pharmacy tomorrow to get some!