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Conception

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Original poster

TTC but boyfriend smokes marijuana

12 replies

BonusNatty · 12/09/2017 18:19

Firstly we live in California where smoking marijuana is legal.
My bf has been smoking consistently since he was a teenager. He had a child at 26 (is now 35) so believes it wasn't a problem then, won't be a problem now. I try to remind him that was nine years ago, so he's older and has been smoking longer...both I feel are factors. He doesn't seem to want to compromise on this issue.
We are both wanting to get pregnant but early into trying. Has anyone been through this or has advice?

OP posts:
wotwhat · 12/09/2017 18:22

What's the issue with smoking weed - quality of the sperm?

wtffgs · 12/09/2017 18:29

Sorry to jump in but

Does he see the child he had at 26?
Does he pay child support?
Do you live together?
How will you support yourself and your child if you split up?
How much does he smoke? I know it's legal in CA but there's a big difference between the odd smoke with friends and regularly being stoned.
Would you trust him to look after a baby and forsake a smoke to do so?

I'd ask the same questions if he were a drinker tbh.

Roxb · 12/09/2017 18:31

Ideally not smoking anything at all would up your chances to conceive.

If he is so adamant that he won't stop altogether or at least cut down to the bare minimum, is he really the kind of person you want to be having a baby with?

Original poster
BonusNatty · 12/09/2017 19:29

My question is purely about conceiving when he regularly smokes. Nothing to do with his current parenting situation. Yes, he sees and financially supports his child. He is a great father and one I want a family with. He smokes every day. He doesn't get 'high' per say as I would have an issue with that but I have read a lot about t affecting sperm...

OP posts:
Mrskeats · 12/09/2017 19:33

I personally wouldn't have a child with a drug user
Yes it affects fertility

MapMyMum · 12/09/2017 19:38

If he is completely against giving up to improve chances then in my mind he is addicted and therefore unsuitable father material

4thtime · 12/09/2017 19:43

To answer you question yes it will affect trying to conceive, if he could cut down that would help and I wish u all the best for ttc x

mayhew · 12/09/2017 19:44

Sperm quality is affected by smoking, drinking, drug use, diet, obesity, chronic health conditions and age. The more of these factors are in play, the lower the chances of conception. If you do conceive, the miscarriage and disability rate is higher.

crazyontheweekend · 12/09/2017 20:44

Some slightly OTT comments on here about drug addiction methinks..

Hi OP, just wanted to say i've got two very healthy children (also had one early M/C) by my husband who has smoked weed for most of his adult life. He's not been a daily smoker for years (since his single days) and probably has a small smoke 2-3 times a week. He also has a child by his ex. We are ttc baby no. 3. we conceived all the pregnancies fairly easily.

He does have some arthritis and claims he smokes it as pain relief. I think it's true but he also loves it and helps him relax.

When we first ttc our first i made him get a sperm test done. His count & morphology were normal but his motility was a little slow (bit like him!) He cut down at that point and it improved slightly.

Hope this helps and that you've picked your jaw up off the floor at some of the judgy comments on here....

Oh and i'd also like to say he's a fantastic dad, patient, intelligent, caring, hands-on etc etc.

Niclou98 · 12/09/2017 20:50

I agree with the above comment, ignore the judgmental comments, is TTC for awhile first and see how it goes and if you think it's taking too long I'd see a doctor and see if he's willing to cut down on cannabis for the sake of conceiving, which If he's serious about having a baby with you I'm sure he would x

Original poster
BonusNatty · 12/09/2017 22:04

Thank you crazyontheweekend. That is what i am looking for.

Believe me judgmental people... I am one to 'follow the rules' and the whole idea of smoking doesn't appeal to me. I have already asked him to not do it in my presence but apart from TTC, i don't have the right to tell him what to do.

OP posts:
intelligentPutty · 12/09/2017 23:13

My husband. Now 44. Has smoke most every day ( give or take 2!!) since he was about 15.
We have a dd who is 3,5 (I also smoked tobacco for first few months of her pregnancy you) much to my guilty consciousness.
We have 2 more pregnancies. 1 miscarriage and 1 ectopic so probably more down to my body than his smoking.
Fx for a healthy and happy pregnancy to come for you. Xx

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