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Conception

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To think it should not have been possible to conceive with this set of circumstances

32 replies

Cofaidh · 11/09/2017 11:55

DH and I are 42, with a lovely 6 year old DC who was conceived on our first attempt shortly before I turned 36. We haven't tried to conceive again due to our flat being small and also due to pressure of our respective careers. I have been aware of the biological clock in the past few months but we haven't TTC.

One night in mid-August DH was feeling amorous but couldn't find any condoms. I said as my period had only just finished, we could probably get away with not using one. He said "i'm not risking that" then I remembered I had a condom (bought about 2 and a half years ago) in the side pocket of my bag so we used that.

TMI alert - That was the 8th day of my cycle, well before the fertile window. On day 13 of my cycle I had stretchy fertile quality EWCM so probably ovulated on day 14. (I didn't keep a diary, but know the dates exactly, as we were on holiday and had different activities each day so it's easy to work out dates).

On day 20 I was shocked to see what I am certain was implantation bleeding. i had it with my daughter and it was the same, and at the same time in the cycle).

My period did not arrive on Thursday when expected and when i did a pregnancy test on Friday, it came up positive (albeit faint). The next day, my period did come, and when I did another test, there was a hint of a line, but fainter. Today, Monday, I still have my period, and when i tested, there is nothing. So although I had implantation bleeding, the pregnancy did not stick.

On Sunday I said to DH "Don't be shocked, my period has just started but I had a positive pregnancy test yesterday. Not sure if this is breakthrough bleeding or early pregnancy loss, but I do seem to have conceived".

He replied "Do you remember that evening you found a condom in your bag? When we had finished, I noticed it had leaked a tiny tiny amount. I didn't say anything to you as you had been talking about maybe TTC anyway. I just thought I would let nature take its course and if you became preg, we would work things out. And I thought it was too early in your cycle for it to happen anyway."

I am certain it was a chemical pregnancy. As we were not TTC, I am not particularly upset. But it has got me wondering.

The only 2 times we have ever had unprotected sex, we have conceived. The first time, we conceived our daughter. This time, I would have thought the conditions were almost impossible for conception. I am 42, my period had only just finished that day, there was no fertile cervical mucus, the condom only leaked a tiny amount, I was drinking about 6 or 7 cups of coffee a day right up until I saw the positive pregnancy test and I had a glass of wine every night on holiday until the implantation bleeding.
It has now got me wondering whether we should just go for it later this month. When we talked about TTC a few months ago, DH wasn't keen, but I think this has actually made him open to the idea.

Don't know whether the chemical happened because my eggs are too old. Or maybe the sperm had deteriorated after their difficult journey then a long long wait for ovulation. Or maybe it was just one of those things.

OP posts:
archersfan3 · 11/09/2017 12:52

Just a thought but if you decide you do want to TTC (or want to definitely avoid it for that matter) I believe there is a theory that you can be more fertile in the cycle after a chemical pregnancy - I conceived again straight after a chemical pregnancy before I even had a period. This was despite our first child taking many years to come along (although no medical assistance).
Not sure how much evidence there is for it but the midwife mentioned it when I told her about it, so it wasn't just someone random.
Also I was surprised how long the bleeding lasted - mine took about 3 weeks to fully stop. I thought it would just be a normal period.

Cofaidh · 11/09/2017 12:55

Thanks archersfan, that's interesting to know, and helpful whichever way we decide to go.
I will have this thread moved now. Thanks all.

OP posts:
Nuttynoo · 11/09/2017 13:05

The egg white discharge is usually a red herring - most women either don't get it visibly or don't spot it early enough to do any good. As it turned into a chemical, chances are it was a dodgy early cycle egg.

Laiste · 11/09/2017 13:10

Are you unreasonable to be surprised? Well If you didn't realise that sperm can live for up to a week then i guess not. I used to ov on day 11 occasionally. More often on day 13/14. Could have fallen preg with unprotected sex on day 8 in any of those cycle scenarios.

LornaMumsnet · 11/09/2017 13:14

Hi all,

We're just sending this over to conception at the OP's request.

Flowers
Cofaidh · 11/09/2017 13:14

I have never heard of "early cycle egg". Having looked it up, I just read that excess caffeine consumption can disrupt the follicular phase (which I had also never heard of). I know I have been drinking gallons of coffee this summer, so maybe you are on to something with the early egg theory!

OP posts:
BillBrysonsBeard · 11/09/2017 14:06

I'm surprised at the 7 days before thing too, as everything I've read online says sperm lives 5 days maximum so need to have sex from 5 days before ovulation. Nature finds a way though I guess!

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