To fat to get pregnant

[homefromworklate]

Firstly, I've NC for this as I don't want it associated with my other posts! Secondly, I was unsure where to post this in weight loss or conception.
I've known for a while I am very overweight and I've also known for a while I have fertility problems. 3 loses and PCOS. But it has only just recently smacked me in the face just how obese I actually am, and the almost impossible journey to lose the weight to aid an improvement in my fertility.
We recently flew to Spain to view property, but on the way there I was mortified that I couldn't fasten the plane's seat belt. I was beyond disgusted and spent the whole flight I tears and dreading the flight home. So much so that I hardly ate during our visit in the hope of shedding a few pounds. We're now home and I need to tackle this issue head on. Especially as my best friends of 12 years is pregnant with her second child and I'm struggling with it.
I need to lose 6 stone. I know it's a huge amount but I need to get healthy and happy, I'm laid here now wondering how my partner hadn't left me in disgust and embarrassment!
I know weight loss is just burning more calories than you put in but it just seems a massive challenge. I'm not sure if my PCOS make it harder or not, some doctors have said so , others have said not. Any PCOS suffers out there that have had success?

Firstly stop being so angry with yourself ... you didn't mean to do get overweight... and it doesn't make you a bad person.
Now you recognise you need to lose weight congratulate yourself on realising before it was too late! Turn this into something positive .. a total life overhaul with an exciting journey to come. Get some fancy gym clothes and some beautiful body lotions and soaps so that you're caring for your body in both the difficult diet and exercise way and in the soothing self caring way. Look at your body as something precious.
Other than that I would suggest MyFitnessPal, a FitBit, and some home exercise DVDs or do couch to 5k x
Good luck !

I agree you can do this!

I have no idea if the PCOS will make it harder or not. Maybe a starting point would be an appointment with a dietician who could help you. hardly eating is not the best approach, its more about eating the right amount of the right stuff.

In the meantime head over to the weight loss threads on here which have lots of great ideas on losing weight and also give lots of encouragement and support. My first idea would be to change what you drink. Stick with water and herbal teas. People don't realise how many calories are in the drinks they choose.

Good luck from me too!

I'd recommend a trip to the gp too. They might want to look at metformin, which is a drug that helps diabetics and might be recommended for SOME but not all pcos sufferers. Even a 5% loss in body fate can have dramatic benefits for fertility and can improve symptoms of pcos.

You got this. One day at a time...

What happens if you eat only non-processed food (which means not eating hamburgers, cookies and crisps and similar) and cut out on all sugar (including sweeteners), and eat only small portions, does that make any difference? You could try it for a week or two, and find out!

I have pcos and lose weight far easier on lowish carbs. No full on low carbs.

I avoid refined sugar, pasta, rice and bread and weight comes off eaiser. But then if i am out having a meal i might have some cake etc.

I dont berate myself for having a day/meal off. Just get back on it.

I try to eat as little processed food as possible. If i fancy a burger, I or dh will make them and i dont have a burger bun.

PCOS here too, it doesn't help with weight loss. It's a fucker.
But stop hating yourself so much, you're not a bad person for being overweight!
Personally the way I find weight loss the easiest is by low carbing, not cutting them out completely but reducing significantly.

I lost 4 stone, my periods kicked back in and I got pregnant.

Whilst I don't think I have PCOS, I am absolutely morbidly obese. I also can't get a seatbelt round me on a plane. I'm definitely bigger than you and could easily lose 15 stone and still be overweight! I am not proud of this, and I have successfully lost weight following slimming world before but there have been setbacks which have got in my way, and I've fallen back to my old ways. I'm completely addicted to food, and I quite simply eat too much of the wrong stuff without doing any excercise.

However, my weight has not stopped me conceiving. We DTD once after I came off contraception, and boom - pregnant. Supported by my midwife, I am currently trying to lose weight for the health of my baby. There is no way I ever envisaged being able to physically get pregnant and carry a baby at my size - I am not restricted in daily activities by my weight, but that in addition to a bump I can see being problematic in a few months time! Having to put socks on, pick things up from the floor, sitting comfortably at my desk, being able to sleep in a comfy way... It's not going to be easy at all.

I just wanted to give you a little boost and say that it's likely that PCOS is primarily the problem and whilst losing weight will help (if not with fertility then with being physically more ready and able to carry a baby!) It isn't the sole reason that you're struggling. Give yourself a break - go along to a slimming world group (I like it for foodies!) And start couch to 5k. Even at my size I've been following that, so it's completely do-able! Try as much as possible to track your cycle - I used an app called Flo which tracked my periods and then predicted when I might be ovulating. If your periods are irregular, you could try using ovulation tests or sticks to work out when you're ovulating. You then need to DTD!

You can do it

You can get pregnant while grossly overweight, i have 3 times and had 2 healthy babies with a third due any day now, however i wouldnt recommend it. Being fat makes the whole thing harder in my opinion, from carrying the baby, to having to have consultant led care and the additional medical issues. I lost weight between each pregnancy but piled it all back on when pregnant and now have about 10 stone to lose! I followed slimmingworld and i know some pcos sufferers that have done well on the plan, its essentially healthy eating with a few restrictions.

Thank you for all your supportive responses. I know I shouldn't be down on myself, it just came as quite a shock. Obviously I knew I was overweight, but not to the extend of struggling on a plane. That has never happened before, not even close to happening, I genuinely thought the belt was stuck at first. I'm fine in all other seat scenarios such as cinema etc. I was a tiny plane so maybe, smaller seats than other airlines I have previously flown with. If my partner stood up straight he hit his head on the ceiling of the plane. Normally the overhead storage is higher than his head! But anyways it doesn't take away from the fact I need to loose weight. I eat relatively healthily, probably just too bigger portions, I also do no exercise currently so I need to rectify that. I've been thinking about why I'm struggling to stay focused and lose weight, in every area of my life if something needs improving, I do it instantly. I think it's down to been tired. I find it hard to stay on track when I'm tired. I don't sleep well, mostly down to a snoring partner and the stresses of work whirling around my head. I also lay in bed on my phone before I go to sleep, normally checking in on here or the days news. I think this interferes with my sleep pattern also. So going forward, I'm going to sleep better and do a lot more exercise, will look at couch to 5k.

I am not hugely overweight (just on the border between normal and overweight for BMI). I say this because I am not doing this to lose weight (and it has not helped me to do so), but have been doing 30 days of yoga with adriene on youtube. It's really helped me to relax and unwind and I'm definitely stronger. I think I'm sleeping better. No period pain with af which is completely unheard of for me!

If time is an issue, some videos are 20 mins and some more like 30.

Thank you I will take a look.

Hi @homefromworklate

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. A few things that might help with your weight loss - have you tried going to the doctors? Not only can they offer support and guidance but if you're very tired and struggling with weight it may be worth getting your thyroid checked?

Also you mentioned your other half snores - I'm going to make a leap here and say that snorers often have raised BMIs. If he is overweight maybe you could embark on trying to lose weight together? Evidence is that if a couple make a behaviour change at the same time they're much more likely to conceive. ( the study was done with smoking but applicable to other behaviour change!)

Best of luck - I'm sure you will get there x

This is a bit wacky but here goes: I suffer from broken sleep. I wake needing a pee and then worries whirl around in my mind and I can be awake for hours. What is really effective is doing a yoga DVD in the middle of the night. I sleep really well afterwards. I also don't get worked up about what a waste of time it is being awake in the small hours. The yoga DVD doesn't make me sweaty and it's not noisy so I don't wake the sleeping house.
(Sometimes I watch Netflix at 3am but that's not as conducive to sleep or fitness).

Thanks for the responses. Clairettc- my partner isn't really that overweight, he's a big lad but mainly muscle. His snoring stems from too many rugby injuries to his nose! But he is going to see the doctor about it.
I'm going t look at yoga alongside cardio exercise.

Of course you can do this!

PCOS and being overweight go hand in had but it can work both ways: having PCOS may predispose you to putting weight on quicker/taking it off more slowly, but if you DO lose weight, your cycle will normalise, you'll have more regular periods (therefore more regular ovulations) and your fertility may improve.

Have a look at this - I found that whole site really helpful for changing the way I eat. I cannot see myself going back to eating how I used to.

Btw, exercise is great for cardiac health and flexibility, but weight loss is mainly about what/how much you eat.

@homefromworklate - I used couch to 5k and it was amazing- especially for a person who hardly exercised in years! I was overweight earlier this year and struggled to eat healthy- I decided to go cold turkey as I did not trust my self and go on the Cambridge Diet. I lost 2 stone in a month and maintained my weight by staying on the plan. I took a break to go on holiday and was good by to go back on it but found out I was pregnant.

It's not for everyone- I guess you have to find a plan that works for you.

Good luck x

Thanks. I tried couch to 5k but really struggled with it. I hated going out running, we live in a very small village and I was forever seeing people I know. I will definitely look at revisiting maybe in a few weeks when I can go on a night in the dark.

I have signed up to the weight watchers app and I started that today. I'm going to try and keep to low carb.

Exercise wise I'm going to use my exercise bike at home and increase walking the dog until I feel a bit fitter then I'm hoping to start swimming again.

Fingers crossed 🤞

Couch to 5km is fab. Remember when you start losing weight exercise will feel easier... then you'll exercise more... then lose more weight! :)

It is mostly down to nutrition though - exercise is the tip if the iceberg. Sugar is soooo bad for you. Check packaging as there is so much sugar in lots of things. My husband is a qualified nutritionist and his best advice is not to let yourself get hungry (this is where thr bad decisions and cravings begin)... instead simply replace the bad stuff with healthy lower calorie alternatives. Strawberries ans greek yoghurt instead of cake for instance. Brown bread instead of white. Grilled chicken and homemadebsweer potato wedges instead of burger and chips. Etc. That should be enough change to begin with to see a bit of difference at least! Good luck! :)

Hi @homefromwork just wanted to add something but no experience to actually help. I'm so sorry you have such negative feelings towards yourself, you sound like a lovely person and being overweight is not your identity. It's something you can get past, and sounss like you have the will to do so. Best of luck with everything abd fingers crossed everything works out for you xx

Hi fellow cyster I also have pcos and could do with shedding a round the same amount of weight as you, get to your gyne and get on some meds to help as you may be insulin resistant, I'm restarting my food diaries tomorrow and tracking calories with the aim of working on a calorie deficit, don't get upset as if you are anything like me you'll eat more the more you stress about it! Make sure to have three filling meals per day and keep track of your calories in xx