<snore> Another when would you test thread

[MerlinsBeard]

Cycles gone a bit wonky after mc last year. Used to be 28 days ish and have been anything from 24 - 35 days. Last time i was 40 days .

So... currently CD35 and have had cramps like af arriving for the last week but ni sign. What would you do if you were me?

I know the obvious answer is to test but i haven't any and not really wanting to get any just yet...am just dithering

If you have a test then I would wait until the morning and do it then

i haven;t any nemo lol am holding off.

I only posted because this way AF will arrive and i can stop wondering!!!

lol you never know though hun have everything crossed for you!!!!

lol ty I'm not getting my hopes up. So easy to convincde yourself as you symptom hunt lol

Mum I have my fingers crossed xxx for you im on the jan thread

mumofmonsters - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! I am going through my first cycle after a MC at the mo. Before, I was a regular 28 day cycle, I'm now on cd33 and don't even think I have ovulated this cycle It's very depressing. All I want is to be pg again!!

AF arrived today which i kind of knew it would as soon as i posted here!

Laughalot, i remember you hows things going?

MrsMc, am so sorry to hear of your m/c. I sort of know a little of your story (from lurking on conception boards - not stalking)
I m/c on 1st June and have been unoffically trying ever since. Feels like less pressure than offically ttc.

hiya
having had 3 long cycles in the last 6 months (once 2 weeks late and twice a week late) and spent £££ on testing, I'd say wait until longer than your latest ever cycle (so in your case 40 days). yes..... its really hard to wait isn't it?!
also, my experience of actually being pg is that I didn't need to test, i just KNEW i was pg, 3 days before i was even late. dh thought i was going mad.
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE REMIND ME OF THIS WHEN I'M LATE NEXT TIME AND NOT LET MY BLOODY HORMONES MAKE ME BUY EVEN MORE PG TESTS???!!!

sorry just read your latest message. sorry to hear that, if you're ttc. bummer

we're not officially ttc, just not being very careful either. Neither of us can bear the ttc conversation altho we both want another child so its an if it happens it happens kind of thing at mo

Mumofmonsters ? sorry to hear about AF! thanks for your kind words. You are probably right about the difference in pressure between TTC and not trying to prevent it! I hope you fall again really soon.

Kazza25 ? how infuriating those long cycles must be! And how disappointing when the hag turns up! I really had no sure feelings of being pregnant when I got my BFP. There were things that were different (like spotting after OV, night heats and a sweet taste in my mouth) but I definitely didn?t ?know? The upside of not testing too early is that you don?t have the knowledge for so long before you can share it. Even though I was only 10 weeks when I lost our baby, I?d already known for 6 weeks and that was one of the things I found so hard, a lot of planning and thinking gets done in 6 weeks!

I was 10 weeks too Mrs Mc, and you're right a lot of things get planned in that small time When should you be due? (if you don't mind me asking?) How are you doing? you don't need to answer

Thanks Mumtomonsters I should have been due on 6/10 I guess it is all pretty new still and I am just desperate to get pregnant again. We were trying for 8 months for the one we lost. It was our first baby and we were so excited and then so devastated as I?m sure you were too . I?m doing ok, rising panic sometimes hits me that it just won?t happen again but most of the time I am positive about the future. Thanks for asking How are you feeling about it all?

I'm so sorry mrsmc No one can describe the feeling of a m/c and justhow much it devastates your whole world. I am glad you are trying again straight away. Will keep an eye out for you on other threads as well. I try not to look at ttc boards, aside form teh fact that its all too scientific for my no contraception approach!!
Me? well i wrapped it all up and hid it and didn't really deal with all properly (it was missed, then incomplete then dragged on and on)i still haven't spoken about it properly. I had friends who had babies around the time i was due and that really hurt. Every milestone that those babies make is like a knife in my heart Not many ppl knew i was pg and even less knew i m/c. feels inappropriate to bring it up now.

Hello, just a few good wishes and crossed fingers from another lurker. To you, MrsMc but of course to everyone else as well. Didn't want to do that on the other thread. I just want to say I am really sorry and empathize with you if you don't mind me adding that. I have not really had such an experience and I know I cannot ever imagine it without experiencing, but wanted to tell you anyway. Am not a stalker (I hope) but kind of getting in the mood (dh would "kill" me if he knew I said that), so that's why I am here. Hugs!! XX

I?ll hold you to that MumofMonsters ? It would be a privilege to serve with you on the AN boards Let?s hope we both get over there very soon.

I can really feel your pain and I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do. If you need to talk (even offline ? CAT me) I?m happy to listen anytime I have a tendency to turn emotional pain and worry into physical ailments and as I have been very ill in the past following on from stress, I have tried very hard to face this head on and deal with it as best I can. I know that it will come up and bite me on the bottom from time to time but there is nothing I can do about that.

Though I have 9 pg friends at the mo and feel nothing but energetic hope that they and their babies are perfect, there is one set of friends due with their second baby a week before what would have been our EDD. They were so confident in the pregnancy that they announced it at 9 weeks before their scan. The funny thing is that I am not of their pregnancy but of their confidence, I feel that all future excitement over pregnancies will be tempered with worry now for us. I am a bit hurt by said friends actually, they know about the MC but have not said a word to us, I know it is hard for people to know what to say especially if they too are pg but their only concession to our feelings was to exclude us from the circulation list that went out to all our friends confirming that the scan went well. I know they meant well, I?m just hurting . I?ve tried to explain to DH that I need to see them and face the fact that she will have that baby and I won?t be having ours before another friends? wedding mid May as I know that I will cry and I don?t want that to happen on our other friends wedding day. Is that silly?

Hi linjasmom, thank you it is really kind of you to say that. I hope you never have the experience hon, I really do Glad to hear you are getting in the mood do I take it from your name that you already have a child? When do you think you can convince DH to get on the TTC rollercoaster again?

MrsMc - yes, I have one dd named Linja (now 20 months old). I think about waiting another 2 or 3 months because ttc now would mean a baby due on Chritmas Eve/Day. Don't get me wrong because maybe you would not worry about dates and be happy to have a baby with that edd, but I know several people born on Christmas and they are all unhappy about their birthdays. So far I have had no mc so I have not worried about not having another one or rather on Chrismas than not. Sounds stupid I know. I also wanted to be about 2 1/2 to 3 years between dc if possible to have enough time for both iyswim. Will let you know of course and in the meantime am keeping my fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you!!!! I really enjoy our conversations because I am always happy to talk/chat to English-speaking persons and you all seem a very nice lot. OK, have to go on cleaning, talk to you later hopefully. Take care!!
XX
P.S.: I might have had a mc last year when I was more than a week late (very regular usually) and had all kinds of symptoms, but had a coil in and did not feel right from the beginning and so wasn't unhappy when af started because I was so worried about the coil and I just had a very bad feeling about it (gp said probably nature took care of it). Please don't misunderstand!

Hi Linjasmom ? I am sure your DD is gorgeous and that it?s fun making the most of time alone with her before another one comes along My birthday is 29/12 so I can totally see where you are coming from, that said, in DH?s family, there are loads of Christmas birthdays so we now make the most of them so if I?m lucky enough to get pg soon, I won?t mind at all, selfish I know! I totally understand where you are coming from with what you said about your probable miscarriage, sorry it happened though

MrsMc, it would be lovely if we fell together it really would. I know what you mean about people not knowing what to say, its worse to be ignored than it is to hear 'oh well it wasn't meant to be'. I didn't feel jealous of my friends pregnancies, i was that they got to have big fat bellies and i didn't(well not pg related anyway!), that they were groaning about how hard it was in the last few months and i should be too. Then when they ahd their babies all i could think of was that i should have a 2 week old to greet them with . one friend has been lovely, altho she has no experience of m/c - thank goodness- she was really sensitive and kept asking me how i was feeling and her baby was the first one i held but it took me until a few weeks ago to be able to do it. I am a chronic hider lol!

I am having a month off now, purely for selfish reasons - i have tickets to take that in decemeber and while i don't mind being pg when i go, i don't want to be due on or around it lol (sad cow alert!)

re NOT wanting to be pg in December - sounds like tempting fate to me! All the best for next cycle then!

Mumofmonsters - good luck to you, too and I hope you can enjoy the concert. Though I would be happy for you as well if you had to get rid of the tickets!!
MrsMc - glad you got me right with the birthdays (pot of lard, where are you?)! Will try to remember yours! At least it is in between the days, so it's oK. And when so many of you (or dh's family) share Christmas birthdays, it sounds like fun. Have never experienced that, though! We have a mass of b-days in July. Dh, dd, several cousins and friends - one after the other. Am keeping my fingers crossed and I hope to meet you in a few months time on one of the an-threads moaning about morning sickness, food cravings or whatever!!

Limja, i think i typed it wrong! I meant that as long as i wasn't due on 21st lol! BUT........... did one of those online conception date predictor thingys and if i conceived next week (unlikely seeing as DP is away) then i would be due AFTER the concert anyway woohooooo

re christmas b'days...DP's is 23rd dec and he likes it cos it feels like he has an extended b'day /christmas. The only part he didn't like was when relatives gave him a present for birthday and christmas in one IYSWIM

April and May are our month for birthdays...ds1 (tomorrow eek!), ds2, DS's friend, BIL, my sister, friend, SIL, mum, another friend!

MrsMc - just wanted to add that I know what you mean about people not saying anything. That really hurts, feel like they a) either don't care or b) ignore that something terrible has happened. When my Ma died and people did that I felt as if they didn't honour her or me or us enought to even acknowledge what had happened. Don't know if I am expressing myself understandably. Even an awkward "I don't know what to say but I am sorry" or a hug did me well, but the crappy ignorants just sucked! Ta-ta!