Frustration - TTC Baby #1

[T0684]

Hi Everyone, I'm completely new to this site so apologises if I get this all wrong!

I'm 34 and my DH is 33 and we have been trying since June this year... It's so frustrating as you spend your life trying not to get pregnant and then when you're ready it just doesn't happen as fast as you'd expect it to!

I've been using the CBOPK which works out the best 4 fertile days and have been at it constantly... My AF is due tomorrow but so far this month I haven't had any of my usual PMS such as spots on my chin, tiredness, bloatedness, mood swings - I've actually just been me for the whole entire month! Is this the same for anyone else who then got pregnant? I'm willing my body not to come on tomorrow so much so much the other night I dreamt that the pregnancy test showed I was pregnant and I woke up to do a pregnancy test which just showed a BFN... boy was I disappointed to say the least...

I so want this baby and am worried that as I'll be 35 next year my chances are ever slimmer for having a baby... I also know it's silly as we've only been trying for a couple of months but find it hard when others tell you how easily it happened for them! I've literally tried everything from eating pineapple, putting my legs against the bed for 20-30 mins afterwards to help the whole gravity thing, eating peanuts - I know I'm like this person!

Sorry I feel like I've ranted...

I have no words of wisdom, just to say this could've been me writing that! Also been trying since June and AF due today/ tomorrow but BFNs. I'd no idea how frustrating and consuming this would be, even though I'm well aware it's normal to take a while! Good luck xx

Literally going to say something that your gonna hate me for but scrap all the charts, doing strange things and relax. Try and ignore it all and it will happen naturally it's a scientific fact that if you want something to happen badly you can mentally block it.

I say this from experience after ttc last year I was desperate and to the point mates were announcing them left right and centre, and I literally was so depressed I'd cry at everything. So on the 5th month I thought fuck it.. then I kept busy with my new home and planning my wedding and low and behold it happened now I have a 9 month old DS or should I say monkey ... it will happen be patient and try stay positive. I know it's hard cus I'm trying to ttc no 2 luckily I have my munchkin to occupy me this time and work again but if I didn't I would loose the plot... find something to motivate you and stop stressing over it all good luck xx

Try and ignore it all and it will happen naturally it's a scientific fact that if you want something to happen badly you can mentally block it.

This is not, in fact, a scientific fact. By all means at two or three months in try a more relaxed approach, but the reality is that some people do need to 'try' hard, and if people have actual fertility issues than all the relaxing in the world will do them no good.

A couple of months is nothing! A healthy couple can take up to 12.

Anyway....pineapple? Peanuts?! Wtf?! Think just good old doing it is probably your best bet...every other day is meant to be best I think?

Hey BrutusMcDogface - I know I'm being silly as I do know that deep down we haven't been trying for long and everyone says it can take up to a year but I just feel like arrghhh how hard can this be!

Yep tried it all by people who have managed to get pregnant in a few months and they have said pineapple, peanuts, legs in the air, good old vanilla position to help as well!

Hey Chooklass - firstly good luck to you too!! Sending you all the baby dust in the world - keep me posted!!!

When writing the post I did think I'm being crazy and perhaps unreasonable as these things do take time but it's hard, it's frustrating and at times it just becomes so functional...

OP I could have written this! Trying since May. I'm still 33 but will be 34 soon and 35 next year which scares me. I also use the clear blue digis.

My cycle is all over the place with a short luteal phase and I am trying every supplement under the sun to solve it, but it hasn't got longer than 7 days which is too short to conceive

Hopefully you'll get your BFP this month as if you aren't getting your AF symptoms you never know! If not, I agree it's shit especially when all around you seem to be pregnant but you're not alone

Yep tried it all by people who have managed to get pregnant in a few months and they have said pineapple, peanuts, legs in the air, good old vanilla position to help as well!

I was in your position a year ago, and although it's hard to remember now that it's been so much longer and harder a journey, I do know how frustrating it can feel, even at this early stage. But don't put too much store by what people who only tried a few months say 'worked' - they clearly had no underlying fertility issues and almost certainly it was just their month to get lucky, and sheer coincidence that they used a particular position/ate pineapple/whatever. The only things known to work to get you pregnant faster are very boring: timed intercourse, and a generally healthy lifestyle (not drinking excessively, not smoking, being a healthy weight). The internet is full of 'magical solutions' ('I tried this and I got pregnant THAT MONTH!!!!!!) but the underlying logic is the same as medieval people who rubbed snails on burns ('I did it and then got better so I must have got better because I did it') and just as faulty.

MrsMamaG2016 - of course I'm not going to hate you! I know what you're saying makes perfect sense it really does and I just need to get to that stage of just letting go and stopping myself from thinking - the funny thing I've also said to my DH I wouldn't be one of these crazy women and look at me now - SMH I have turned into one of them!

Good luck with baby #2 I'm also sending you all the baby dust in the world let me know how you get on!!! xxx

I'm 34 in November. I've been TTC a year for #1. Things happen. I had a loss at 10 weeks in February. I've been diagnosed and medicate for hyperthyroidism and I have short cycles. Don't get stressed at only a few months of trying, it could take a while. If you are fit and healthy, have a good diet, are taking folic acid and vitamin d and having regular sex it is all a matter of waiting. You have a 20% chance every cycle. Don't put too much stress on yourself. 😉

I could of written this too! September will be month 8 TTC! Sooooo frustrating. For the first 5 months I was like meeeeh it'll just happen. The last 2 I've started to wonder why it hasn't... reading up on things lead to tracking, then testing ovulation and now its legs in the air and anything else you can think of 😂😂

I even got to the point where I said 'it can't happen this month because we already have 4 people's birthdays in May'. As if to tempt fate!!! TTC point blank makes you crazy!

I've come to the realisation that we just get back to enjoying DTD until it either happens or a doctor tells us there is a problem!

No magical advice @T0684 but just know your not alone! baby dust to all xx

Another one here in their 30's! Yes 35 is that magic number they keep talking about but realistically you still have a very good chance of falling pregnant in your mid to late 30's.

The best thing you can do is to have regular sex and ensure you and DH are healthy. If there is anything you've always wanted to do or a hobby you've always wanted to take up then do it now. It'll focus your mind and energy elsewhere. 3/4 months is still early in ttc terms and the odds of falling pregnant are very much in your favour.

@T0684 thank you Hun I wish you all the best to ... it's easier for me to say cus I have one but I am a nutter trying for this one it sounds awful but i feel more ready for no2 because I know what to expect I was naive with my first and it blew my mind but I'm excited now just need to happen... my problem is I'm always too tired for sex so can imagine I'm in for a wait ....

I pray you get your bfp soon I really wish you well and thank you baby dust to you xx